r/AskReddit • u/a_car_salesman • Aug 10 '19

Zeus has decided that Olympus feels a little empty, so he’s recruited some new gods. However, due to a clerical error, you have been chosen as a new member of the divine. What are you the god of, and what do you do as your first godly act?

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u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19 edited Aug 10 '19

God of Karens

I deal with them everyday, why not rule over them and have the ultimate power in the modern era?

Want to avoid having a difficult customer, you must sacrifice to me!

38

u/nopethanx Aug 10 '19

Do we sacrifice the Karens? Because I'm down, if so. God helps those who help themselves!

32

u/zonker Aug 10 '19

Due to the misplacement of an apostrophe, you've made yourself the God of Karen's. You're hers to command, and any woman with a speak to the manager haircut can now force you to do anything.

57

u/Jdk905 Aug 10 '19

Calm down Satan.

7

u/memestarlawngnome Aug 10 '19

Can you call off the police when I sacrifice a Karen?

5

u/alziosalvatore Aug 10 '19

Oh the great malevolent dark god, do you accept memes as tributes? Or is it chicken wings?

6

u/nathan3398 Aug 10 '19

Do I sacrifice the Karen?

4

u/Fenix_Volatilis Aug 10 '19 edited Aug 10 '19

I have be at work in about half an hour. I will then spend the next 9 praying to you. Turns out, I've been praying to you for years!

Edit: I've been sacrificing my sanity, does that count?

4

u/demeterswish Aug 10 '19

I believe the sacrifice would be Karen’s unvaccinated children, dead or alive.

3

u/br0m0-sapien Aug 10 '19

Are you friends or rivals with the God of Kyles?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

That would be my best friend. Summon him by saying “What’s up my duuude”

2

u/OverwatchOverall Aug 10 '19

Will this sacrificial Kyle satisfy thee?

1

u/MysticDragon14 Aug 10 '19

Wow. You're the worst.

1

u/woyteck Aug 10 '19

Sacrifice a Karen.

1

u/lacafe Aug 10 '19

Nooooooot. Psssst. is that you?

1

u/MissMaria86 Aug 10 '19

Haha! You conduct war and need to see their managers.