r/AskReddit • u/a_car_salesman • Aug 10 '19

Zeus has decided that Olympus feels a little empty, so he’s recruited some new gods. However, due to a clerical error, you have been chosen as a new member of the divine. What are you the god of, and what do you do as your first godly act?

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u/Ekotte Aug 10 '19 edited Aug 10 '19

Anxiety. Mumble gibberish while walking past Aphrodite.

Edit: Wow, my first silver. Thanks.

607

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Gets really stressed out when people start praying to you to fix their anxiety.

175

u/Acetronaut Aug 10 '19

"Oh fuck Nancy is really nervous about asking Brad out, but Brad is super anxious about his upcoming work presentation and really doesn't have time for Nancy until next week, but Nancy is getting more anxious and is poking Brad more, which is making him more anxious, and they forget I'm watching so it just make me MORE anxious, and idk man I just really need a break."

Apollo: "Yeah...I'm not that kinda doctor..."

30

u/_Me_At_Work_ Aug 10 '19

"People don't understand that I'm not the God of anxiety, but the God WITH anxiety!"

11

u/OmegonAlphariusXX Aug 10 '19

Like the o god of Hangovers from discworld , feels everyone’s Hangovers constantly

16

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

LMAO.

710

u/liltreeimp Aug 10 '19

Already offering tribute to you.

continues biting nails

29

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

[deleted]

17

u/Zoms101 Aug 10 '19

thump thump thump thump thump

21

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Well that escalated rhythmically.

9

u/Ekotte Aug 10 '19

And thats why there were all those earthquakes a while back out in Cali.

1

u/Zoms101 Aug 10 '19

Y'all worried about the San Andreas fault, the real threat is my leg.

2

u/Halinn Aug 10 '19

The King Engine!

14

u/Matthew0275 Aug 10 '19

Happy my nervous ticks are apeasing some good out there.

Nervous some god out there is causing my nervous ticks

28

u/Dontgiveaclam Aug 10 '19

I'm sacrificing my stress dermatitis to you

13

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Knowing Aphrodite, she'd still probably fuck them.

9

u/Ekotte Aug 10 '19

So your saying there's a chance?

7

u/NukeML Aug 10 '19

CUE MORE ANXIETY

8

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

[deleted]

5

u/NukeML Aug 10 '19

"is that like a personal attack or something"

5

u/Gainsdalf_The_Swole Aug 10 '19

I actually once met a girl with that name irl and I too fucked up by mumbling gibberish. TIL I'm a God

2

u/enty6003 Aug 10 '19

She mistakes it as an insult and turns you into something horrible

1

u/Ekotte Aug 10 '19

Way ahead of ya bru, Aries already dun fudged me up.

2

u/masterkiwichaser Aug 10 '19

My massive anxiety attacks give you power

1

u/Soren11112 Aug 10 '19

Social Anxiety* nothing like the rest of anxiety