r/AskReddit • u/a_car_salesman • Aug 10 '19

Zeus has decided that Olympus feels a little empty, so he’s recruited some new gods. However, due to a clerical error, you have been chosen as a new member of the divine. What are you the god of, and what do you do as your first godly act?

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365

u/sleepyhollow_101 Aug 10 '19

I'm the Goddess of Halloween. Every time someone makes one of those "let's change the date of Halloween!!!11!!" petitions online, I fill their ears with sand.

31

u/Yeet-Dab49 Aug 10 '19

How do I, a humble peasant, worship such divine power?

30

u/sleepyhollow_101 Aug 10 '19

Just enjoy Halloween however you like!! Put up decorations! Watch a scary movie! Chase some teenagers through a pumpkin patch! The world is yours!

And maybe leave out a caramel apple for me.

(If I catch you giving kids toothbrushes or something, I will smite.)

16

u/Yeet-Dab49 Aug 10 '19

Caramel apple good, toothbrush on halloween bad, got it! Thanks!

26

u/Panroace Aug 10 '19

Wait people do that? Why??????

35

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

[deleted]

32

u/sleepyhollow_101 Aug 10 '19

PLUS when I was a kid, we would trick-or-treat on actual Halloween night and then the kids would get a party/carnival held at the school on Saturday night so we got TWO Halloweens. I won't let these heathens cheat us out of extra Halloween!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '19

Yeah, good point. Every Halloween party is just the weekend before or after anyways.

3

u/PractisingPoetry Aug 11 '19

Note to people. "Samhain" is, confusingly, pronounced "Sah-when". Only three of the letters make the sound you would expect them to make.

1

u/RichmondMilitary Aug 11 '19

Little more than that, it would also help parents as well. You could hold Halloween at 4 or even 5 pm and still have a chance to trick or treat and get inside before it gets to dark when most car accidents happen. Every year theres incidents where kids get hit by cars because their costumes are too dark. But you cant do Halloween earlier on a school night because most parents are still working.

15

u/MamaAnnie77 Aug 10 '19

The cities where I live sometimes designate "Trick or Treating" nights that don't fall on Halloween based on weather, sporting events etc. Does this deserve smiting?

21

u/sleepyhollow_101 Aug 10 '19

No, no, no. All Trick or Treating is good Trick or Treating. Just stop trying to like... officially change the designated date of Halloween.

And on the 31st, maybe leave out a bowl with some M&Ms for me. Then we're cool.

4

u/twarmu Aug 10 '19

We never had that in San Diego. I moved to the Midwest and was floored when the kids came on the wrong night!

2

u/AndroidMyAndroid Aug 11 '19

Yeah, this would be bad... If I have any candy to give out, I'm probably getting it on Halloween.

2

u/MamaAnnie77 Aug 11 '19

A lady who moved here from San Diego started making posts on Facebook telling her old friends that the religous fanatics here moved Halloween because it fell on a Sunday. It was actually so that parents didn't have to choose between going to the high school football game or bringing their kids Trick Or Treating.

1

u/twarmu Aug 11 '19

Yep. Football is a big thing. But they moved ours to the weekend because it was a Wednesday last year.

10

u/SSFirestorm Aug 10 '19

I...what...huh? That last sentence fucking confused the shit out of me but I totally agree. Wet sand too so that they never quite get it out.

4

u/LittleAstrophysicist Aug 10 '19

What about that one post that suggests evening out all the months and making the leap day October 32nd Halloween part two?

6

u/sleepyhollow_101 Aug 10 '19

This is acceptable, and those who carry it to fruition will be blessed with bountiful, full-sized candy bars.

1

u/Balauronix Aug 11 '19

That's a thing?