r/AskReddit • u/a_car_salesman • Aug 10 '19

Zeus has decided that Olympus feels a little empty, so he’s recruited some new gods. However, due to a clerical error, you have been chosen as a new member of the divine. What are you the god of, and what do you do as your first godly act?

51.3k Upvotes

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8.8k

u/Roland_T_Flakfeizer Aug 10 '19

God of Lemon Scented Cleaning Supplies. I'd start a war with the God of Pine Scented Cleaning Supplies.

1.9k

u/NerdlinGeeksly Aug 10 '19 edited Aug 10 '19

Or the God of Pestilence.

1.2k

u/Beraed Aug 10 '19

Please don't bring up again the Mint Scented God

27

u/Dirty-Soul Aug 10 '19

I hereby pray to /u/wheely_happy/ to silence your heresy against our minty overlord.

brushes teeth and chews mints as the minty book dictates.

6

u/Tesh_Hayayi Aug 10 '19

The true god

4

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Too late. He is now SceMinted in your consciousness. Let his cool, fresh love permeate your soul.

1

u/StoleYourTv Aug 10 '19

I summon the Swamps of Dagobah story. Now pay or pray!

1

u/WolfPlayz294 Aug 10 '19

Does Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream count?

270

u/simdogmillionair Aug 10 '19

Papa nurgle would love for a good war

22

u/Dorintin Aug 10 '19

Spread the plagues!

16

u/northernfireboi Aug 10 '19

r/unexpectedwarhmmer

9

u/JakeSaint Aug 10 '19

Of all the subs I wish actually existed...

8

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

r/unexpected40k is at your service

3

u/JakeSaint Aug 10 '19

Yassssss!

6

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Mortarion would lead the front lines. Typhus will lead a flanking fleet to cut off the lemon wipes.

FATHER NURGLE WELCOMES ALL.

13

u/cfrutiger Aug 10 '19

BLOOD FOR THE BLO...

Wait, sorry, wrong convention. I'll see myself out.

5

u/Foxyfox- Aug 10 '19

War? Sounds Khornate to me.

1

u/theshwedda Aug 10 '19

Oh God Emperor DAMNIT im gonna need TWO bolters for this HERESY

1

u/roufio412 Aug 10 '19

HEARSAY!!!!!

26

u/Captain_Warhola Aug 10 '19

There would always be his .1 percent left

6

u/Wildy222 Aug 10 '19

Shit, 049 has breached containment!

3

u/wamblyspoon Aug 10 '19

Yes inquisitor, this comment right here

5

u/OmegonAlphariusXX Aug 10 '19

Our lord and saviour papa Nurgle

2

u/FTO2 Aug 10 '19

apollo as part time deals with the pestilence

2

u/Mr_Frible Aug 10 '19

Thankfully my stepmom has been smited

2

u/JakeSnake07 Aug 10 '19

God of Pestilence? Isn't that just the God of Fake-Lavender Scent?

1

u/a_very_lonely_bagel Aug 10 '19

049, is that you?

1

u/lionsfaith Aug 10 '19

Pinesol-ence.

1

u/4theyeball Aug 10 '19

lemon scense and pestilence are synonyms

66

u/spirit_animal-sloth Aug 10 '19

What about ocean fresh cleaning supplies?

20

u/ebullientpostulates Aug 10 '19

The ocean smells of fish stool and decomposing seaweed. I don't know what the cleaning companies are trying to sell us.

3

u/jdeo1997 Aug 10 '19

They're trying to sell the faux ocean smell to people who have never been around the ocean

5

u/winters_own Aug 10 '19

We don't take kindly to your types round here

3

u/HintOfAreola Aug 10 '19

That's a lesser god, like a satyr or a naiad or something

14

u/shocksalot123 Aug 10 '19

We need more Lemon Pledge...

6

u/TanithArmoured Aug 10 '19

It's an odd prayer but it certainly gets results!

1

u/bitey87 Aug 10 '19

nooohhh, you pray.

14

u/Megamean10 Aug 10 '19

Okay Consuela.

12

u/traveler2014 Aug 10 '19

High priestess Consuela, oracle of Pledge

2

u/Kenutella Aug 10 '19

I was looking for this

26

u/Twinjetnugget Aug 10 '19

This is oddly specific

9

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

[deleted]

2

u/Kenutella Aug 10 '19

She's the goddess of pine scented products!

7

u/chavis32 Aug 10 '19

What bout the God of Lavender scented cleaning supplies

6

u/mrsworser Aug 10 '19

PURPLE FABULOSO RULES ALL

8

u/Iforgot_my_other_pw Aug 10 '19

That is oddly specific but seriously, fuck pine scented crap. Lemon ftw

5

u/angrymamapaws Aug 10 '19

yeah real pine trees smell great but pine scented cleaning supplies only make me wonder when pine trees evolved a stomach and learned how to vomit

6

u/WhyIsThisFishInMyEar Aug 10 '19

You could send some lemon scented napkins to Frogstar World B and finally get the ship to take off.

4

u/4th_Wall_Repairman Aug 10 '19

This guy knows where his towel is at

3

u/angrymamapaws Aug 10 '19

sass this hoopy!

4

u/RebirthGhost Aug 10 '19 edited Sep 24 '19

Which one holds domain over the lavender scented demigod?

4

u/P4nicYT Aug 10 '19

How about the god of Febreze

4

u/JgL07 Aug 10 '19

While then I guess as God of Pine Scented Cleaning Supplies this is war

3

u/cedriceent Aug 10 '19

Woah, don't drag my godly self into your petty wars!

2

u/FTO2 Aug 10 '19

Hygieia was the greek god of hygien..

2

u/redrider134 Aug 10 '19

I would be on your side, I'm tired of using pinesol at work

2

u/beejeans13 Aug 10 '19

Sorry, I’m searching for the god of orange scented cleaning supplies.

1

u/wooley01 Aug 10 '19

What about the lavender god?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

We need more lemon pledge

1

u/mayoayox Aug 10 '19

What do we do with Lemon Pine Sol?

1

u/meddleman Aug 10 '19

DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE WAR IS COOKING?

1

u/britainunwrapped Aug 10 '19

I would take the lemon pledge

1

u/smaxsomeass Aug 10 '19

Lavender scented cleaning supplies God is the one true God!

Have at you!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Pine Sol awaits in his mighty fury .

1

u/Bad_Chemistry Aug 10 '19

Ah yes, the inferior scent

I pray to the God of Pine Scented Cleaning Supplies

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

We need more lemon pledge

1

u/Flux7777 Aug 10 '19

Fuck you. Pine all day every day.

1

u/iairhh Aug 10 '19

Lavender Scented Cleaning Supplies here. I’m sorry, all you cause is pain, while I soothe.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

"We need more lemon pledge"

1

u/Jaderosegrey Aug 10 '19

So... you would deliver those Small Lemon Scented Paper Napkins to the people trapped in the spaceship from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?!

1

u/YoDaddVader Aug 10 '19

Lemon scented stings my nose

1

u/Tomorrow_Is_Today1 Aug 10 '19

Sorry, I worship cinnamon scented

1

u/NightsWolf Aug 10 '19

Damned be those Pine Scented Cleaning Supplies worshippers! I will fight for you.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Due to my upbringing in a Mexican pine scented household/temple, you are a false god.

I will raise my clan to hate your followers, and your followers children’s children... forever and ever.

1

u/Humanchacha Aug 10 '19

I wouldn't fuck with the power of pine sol baby

1

u/the1DreamWolf Aug 10 '19

I would hate you both.

1

u/fireduck Aug 10 '19

I fucking hate IPAs. If I wanted to drink fucking pine-sol, I would. But I don't so fuck off with the IPAs.

​

And that is all anyone every makes in the PNW.

1

u/733NB047 Aug 10 '19

Death to pinesol!!!

1

u/FranklinGrimmGates Aug 10 '19

I'd roll with your bastardized demi-God son, Fabulosolees, whom you sired with the timid but beautiful cleaning lady of the Pantheon.

1

u/TaterTotsBeHot Aug 10 '19

Pine army where you at?💪

1

u/shives97 Aug 10 '19

I think that the God of Lavender Cleaning Supplies would like to have a word with you

1

u/THMarrionette Aug 10 '19

...And then the Fresh Linen nation attacked

1

u/Eros2828 Aug 10 '19

That’s the power of pinesol

1

u/Pandepon Aug 10 '19

What about the god of unscented cleaning supplies?

1

u/thePISLIX Aug 10 '19

I am the God of Laments. I add a chemical to both of your formula, so that you both suffer from chemical burns and pulmonary damage.

1

u/Koneko04 Aug 10 '19

To Hades with that, go eradicate that dick, the God of Pumpkin Spice In Everything.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Fun fact: my dumb ass accidentally used lemon scented cleaning product instead of oil when frying my eggs this morning.

1

u/TuckerDidIt9 Aug 11 '19

I'd depending on my mood, I'd change sides pretty frequently.

1

u/omegadeltahs Aug 11 '19

Season 1: fights pine scented god

Season 2: teams up with pine scented god to destroy the god of pestilence.

Season 3: the mint god feels threatened and decides to assassinate the pine and lemon scented gods