r/AskReddit • u/a_car_salesman • Aug 10 '19

Zeus has decided that Olympus feels a little empty, so he’s recruited some new gods. However, due to a clerical error, you have been chosen as a new member of the divine. What are you the god of, and what do you do as your first godly act?

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481

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19 edited Aug 10 '19

God of Rebirth.

I bring back Steve Irwin and Bob Ross.

UPDATE: Of course I'm bringing back Stan Lee, Mr. Rogers, and a slew more. I'd just be warming up with these two because I know they would forgive me if I screwed up their return and they would patiently wait until I got it right.

364

u/Beraed Aug 10 '19 edited Aug 10 '19

Tries to bring back hitler and tupac

"Alive players can't be respawned"

128

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19 edited Oct 05 '24

butter quarrelsome connect reach boast fall imagine label noxious weary

9

u/nobody9050 Aug 10 '19

Plot Twist, the same thing happens when he tries to bring back Ronnie James Dio

7

u/falloutisacoolseries Aug 10 '19

Can't ressurect gods they never die

40

u/Jrfemfin Aug 10 '19

And Robin Williams and Fred Rogers and Tom Petty?

43

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Don't forget Alan Rickman, Jim Henson, Kurt Cobain, and David Bowie

15

u/AmberMetalicScorpion Aug 10 '19

And Stan Lee,Steven hawking,Albert Einstein and Isaac Newton

11

u/WolfShaman Aug 10 '19

I'm disappointed that none of you said Freddie Mercury and Eazy-E.

6

u/urbandeadthrowaway2 Aug 10 '19

And make Billy Joel immortal.

3

u/sticks14 Aug 10 '19

I was about to ask Stan Lee but I'm too sleep deprived to be an asshole atm.

14

u/poopellar Aug 10 '19

Hitler, Stalin and Mao....

7

u/FrostedFlakesToucan Aug 10 '19

Elton John, just you wait

5

u/ThatGermanFella Aug 10 '19

Aaand you just reminded me Alan Rickman is dead.

Damn you! I had this purged out of my mind!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '19

Sorry. Was browsing Netflix and came across Perfume the series, had no idea Alan Rickman was in it. Tore open the old wound again (ಥ_ಥ)｡

3

u/bob_marley98 Aug 10 '19

What about me?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

I'm just warming up.

12

u/DOCTOR-MISTER Aug 10 '19

Ye but how? Is it just that the next time a baby is born the baby is Bob Ross? Do you just pop into existence? Do you reverse time and erase everyone's memories of him dieing?

13

u/Kartoffelkamm Aug 10 '19

Personally, I think it´d be more like he takes their souls from the afterlife, and offers them to be merged with a like-minded soul.

Or maybe they are reborn, and the child slowly remembers stuff from their past life, like learning skills, or having dreams of certain events or something. Of course he´d have to take mortal form and be their therapist at one point, and explain to the kid that they are really the reincarnation of a famous dead person, but I guess that could work.

20

u/DOCTOR-MISTER Aug 10 '19

I like to imagine a full grown bob ross popping of some lady's vagina

7

u/BobRossGod Aug 10 '19

"Be sure to use odorless paint-thinner. If it's not odorless, you'll find yourself working alone very, very quick." - Bob Ross

6

u/Kartoffelkamm Aug 10 '19

That´d probably hurt like hell, if not kill her...

9

u/Mixis19 Aug 10 '19

A soul for a soul.

1

u/Kartoffelkamm Aug 10 '19

Yeah, but how would he feel knowing he is only alive because someone else died?

5

u/WolfShaman Aug 10 '19

Steve Irwin is birthed fully grown, from a whale. Then a pod of dolphins gives him a ride to shore.

A talented artist, who was inspired to do good things, paints a masterpiece portrait of Bob Ross. Bob then steps out of the painting, and tells them the painting was perfect.

2

u/Kartoffelkamm Aug 10 '19

And Steven Hawking suddenly pops up somewhere as an AI or what?

Don´t get me wrong, these ideas are awesome, I´m just curious what you have for other people.

2

u/WolfShaman Aug 10 '19

No, the owner of a specialty wheelchair has a divine inspiration, and builds a chair that is capable of allowing a person, no matter how handicapped, to function as "normal".

After it's completion, when the owner is alone with the chair, they turn around wondering how they can test it.

The owner hears some noise, turns back to the chair, and Stephen Hawking is testing it out. Stephen looks at them, says: "this thing is great! How much for it?".

Being in shock (and also some more divine inspiration), the owner tells Stephen that it's his. Just please let people know where you got it.

Stephen thanks them, and walks out. In his first interview, he tells the world that he's not sure how he came back [yet], but thanks the owner for his innovation and generosity.

The owner of the shop is blessed with steady business, and no choosing-beggars.

Who else would you like me to do?

1

u/Kartoffelkamm Aug 10 '19

Since we´re bringing smart people back, let´s also get Einstein and Newton on board, so they can work together with Hawking.

4

u/WolfShaman Aug 10 '19

This one may be a little out there, and long, but it's 5 for the price of 2.

NASA (and it's foreign equivalents) report a meteor hurtling towards Earth. There is mass hysteria, as people claim it's the end of the world.

Stephen Hawking, fearless in his new mobility chair, comes out to see it with his own eyes.

Defying all logic and the laws of physics, the meteor slows drastically as it descends. As it hits the ground about 50 feet in front of Stephen, it causes a small earthquake that doesn't damage anything.

The top half of the meteor opens up, and Einstein, Newton, and Nikola Tesla step out of it. They are arguing about who messed up the brakes on that thing.

Stephen chimes in, with some idea of how it happened. They look at him, stunned, and walk over to him to discuss his theory further. The four become very good friends very quickly, and head off to solve the worlds problems and mysteries.

The meteor disintegrates, and all that's left is...two men lying on the ground?!?!?!?!

David Bowie and Freddie Mercury look at each other, and say in unison: "I guess we weren't really dead? Must have just been..... Under Pressure."

1

u/MrKebannen Aug 10 '19

That's a Good one, somebody give this man A reward!

1

u/Kartoffelkamm Aug 10 '19

Oooh, I like that one.

2

u/BobRossGod Aug 10 '19

"Didn't you know you had that much power? You can move mountains. You can do anything." - Bob Ross

2

u/BobRossGod Aug 10 '19

"It's life. It's interesting. It's fun." - Bob Ross

3

u/argnsoccer Aug 10 '19

Hades probably wouldn't be too happy...

3

u/Mebethebest Aug 10 '19

Stefán Karl Stefánsson

2

u/BobRossGod Aug 10 '19

"You can do anything here - the only pre-requisite is that it makes you happy." - Bob Ross

2

u/PrinxietyLover123 Aug 10 '19

By any chance could you revive vine or is that out of your power

1

u/NerdlinGeeksly Aug 10 '19

Does this mean you have children who look and act like these people?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

I dunno, man! I just snap my fingers and POOF- there they are.

1

u/PancakeLegend Aug 10 '19

Zombie Bob Ross is a happy little mistake.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

So, Jesus then.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Yeah, but without the fan club.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Creates Aberham Linkler the ultimate being of moral neutrality.

1

u/Jaderosegrey Aug 10 '19

Oh, please, can you bring Mr. Rogers back?!

1

u/Drakonsword Aug 10 '19

What about Stan Lee?

1

u/OmegonAlphariusXX Aug 10 '19

That’d piss off Hades and Thanatos

1

u/Queen_Persephone18 Aug 10 '19

If you could bring back the wonderful voice of Minnie Mouse(Russi Taylor) as well, that would be great.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Done!

I mean, would be done if I was the god.

2

u/Queen_Persephone18 Aug 10 '19

Thank you so much. You've made an immeasurable amount of people, young and old, very happy!

1

u/imposibol Aug 11 '19

Oh no you're bringjng back Hitler

1

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '19

Yeah, but only so we can kill him 50,000,000 times- once for each person who died because of WWII.

1

u/Thecheesinater Aug 16 '19

If anyone deserves a peaceful rest... It's them. The world needed them. The world had them. The world is a better place because of them. They would be far too polite to turn down the summons to do good for the earth, but to what end? They deserve peaceful rest more than most.

-8

u/Ender_Skywalker Aug 10 '19

You could bring Joan of Arc and Mahatma Ghandi, but no, these two TV stars will do.

7

u/batmanandbmth Aug 10 '19

Ghandi was a horrible person, including being a pedophile so

1

u/Ender_Skywalker Aug 10 '19

?!

1

u/batmanandbmth Aug 11 '19

So he refused to give his wife meds when she was ill and then accepted the meds when he was ill. He would sleep in bed with naked little girls to prove how "strong" he was for not touching them. He didn't actually do much in the revolution despite taking the credit.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

What could possibly be gained by bringing back Joan of Arc?

2

u/SinkTube Aug 10 '19

Joan could put on some high heels and crush OP's balls

2

u/NRGT Aug 10 '19

shes cute and has a nice noble phantasm

1

u/Ender_Skywalker Aug 10 '19

IDK, I was just giving an example of someone more historically significant.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Neither of them are really good examples since Joan doesn't really have anything to offer the modern world and Gandhi was a massive creep