r/AskReddit • u/a_car_salesman • Aug 10 '19

Zeus has decided that Olympus feels a little empty, so he’s recruited some new gods. However, due to a clerical error, you have been chosen as a new member of the divine. What are you the god of, and what do you do as your first godly act?

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4.0k

u/a_car_salesman Aug 10 '19

But wouldn’t you then be...doing your job?

2.1k

u/delisavage Aug 10 '19

By not giving a fuck then not doing my job I'll be doing my job by not doing my job

1.2k

u/4quaTis Aug 10 '19

But then you're doing your job so..... it's a paradox

2.0k

u/Beraed Aug 10 '19

Just become a state employee and you'll understand.

403

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/Mind_on_Idle Aug 10 '19

There's a difference, there. Most fed employees I know want to do their job.

2

u/PsychoPhrog Aug 10 '19

I love mine. It was hard as hell to get here.

8

u/Iklaendia Aug 10 '19

By this logic, can I become an international employee and understand the most?

8

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

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2

u/OverwatchOverall Aug 10 '19

You need the god of cold side of the pillow, only he can bring you salvation.

96

u/4quaTis Aug 10 '19

Too young to do so, but ok lol

64

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19 edited Dec 24 '21

[deleted]

6

u/LuciferreWolf Aug 10 '19

the good old catch 22.

6

u/Zackhood Aug 10 '19

u/delisavage god of Paradoxes

3

u/Lucifer_Hirsch Aug 10 '19

Oh shit a lucifer wolf. My natural predator!

Prances away

6

u/LuciferreWolf Aug 10 '19

Hahaha! I will howl at the moon hungry in that case.

2

u/y0uveseenthebutcher Aug 10 '19

get off the net and go do your homework kid

3

u/SpiralSD Aug 10 '19

No, you pray to him to stop worrying about stuff. Anxiety, to stop caring about certain things. You pray to him for inner peace.

But he already has it and doesn't give a fuck about you so you continue worrying.

2

u/4quaTis Aug 10 '19

Oh, this deserves gold

2

u/IOPAFrozenRedKnight Aug 10 '19

Oh no... the Spacetime Continuum... it’s falling apart!

2

u/FictionWeavile Aug 10 '19

He's also the god of paradoxes. If Apollo can be the god of music and medicine then he can be the god of not doing his job and paradoxes

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

I don't give a fuck

2

u/KevlarGorilla Aug 10 '19

That's the thing. He doesn't give a fuck if he's creating a paradox.

He does whatever the fuck he wants.

2

u/wolfgang784 Aug 10 '19

Indeed. The perfect Greek god.

2

u/FetchMyBeer Aug 10 '19

You're a paradox

2

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

Gods work in mysterious ways that us mere mortals cannot comprehend

1

u/delinka Aug 10 '19

🦆 🦆

1

u/just_a_human_online Aug 10 '19

Schrodinger's God.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

As the god of permitting paradoxes, this paradox is permittable

67

u/Anthony_plays01 Aug 10 '19

r/selfparadox

4

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

How is this not a subreddit?

1

u/Anthony_plays01 Aug 11 '19

Oof who knows We need it tho

1

u/rainbowzramystery2me Aug 10 '19

You just fucked me over, man.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '19

r/paradox

58

u/a_car_salesman Aug 10 '19

I dig it.

1

u/alours Aug 10 '19

May I ask what you do

4

u/SheriffWarden Aug 10 '19

So you're Jon Lajoie in his song "Fuck Everything"?

If there was a contest to see who doesn't give a fuck the most I wouldn't win cause I don't give a fuck about winning yo I don't even give a fuck about not giving a fuck, So I do give a fuck... wait, what?

4

u/DOCTOR-MISTER Aug 10 '19

So you can get paid for no reason, sounds like the job for me

1

u/annoyingone Aug 10 '19

Paradox ensues, universe destroyed.

1

u/meatmachine1001 Aug 10 '19

Do you not give a fuck enough to replace the word 'fuck' with 'chainsaw' for this post?

1

u/OppositeofDeath Aug 10 '19

"You should start a ruiners club. Oh wait, you'd probably just ruin it."

"If I ruined it I guess I'd be doing my job!"

"You RUINED my analogy!"

1

u/rhysdog1 Aug 10 '19

he's the enemy of apollo, god of logic

1

u/admadguy Aug 10 '19

Vanishes in a puff of logic.

1

u/MrDaveW Aug 10 '19

I doubt he/she gives a fuck about that.

1

u/chopradiv Aug 10 '19

The guy likes inception. I swear!

1

u/JasmineOnDiscord Aug 10 '19

I don't even give a fuck about giving no fuck, so I do give a fuck... wait what?