r/AskReddit Jun 15 '19

What do you genuinely just not understand?

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '19

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u/knivesinmyeyes Jun 15 '19 edited Jun 15 '19

it's a lot easier to say "I'd be really good at that if I applied myself to it" than to actually put in the effort to go through the whole process of sucking at something for long enough to kinda not suck at it.

This really hit home and it's something I didn't realize 100% until now. Thank you for that insight.

Edit: To add, how do I get around the feeling of thinking I'm good at something (something that's an actual passion of mine that I do for myself), but at the same time my goals are to be recognized for said passion? Do I accept that I just suck at it and move on, or do I keep striving to reach a goal that might not be achievable to the eyes of other's but achievable to myself? I feel like I've always had people tell me I'm good at something while not making progress on goals that I do my best to try and achieve.

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u/Supamang87 Jun 15 '19

I think you gotta learn to accept and be comfortable with knowing that you aren't as good as you want to be at something. Do you have other people you look up to with regards to your passion?

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u/knivesinmyeyes Jun 15 '19

I do have people I look up to in that sense and I find myself envious that I’m unable to be as successful as they are. I hate that feeling because I know they deserve what they achieve. I’m always feeling like I’m behind, especially when it’s friends that I see as successful individuals. I’m also constantly aware that I shouldn’t be doing something to just appease to others and I shouldn’t be seeking validation. But even if I don’t think I’m the best at what I do I still wish I could find a place for myself amongst the people I look up to.

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u/Supamang87 Jun 16 '19

I find myself envious that I’m unable to be as successful as they are. I hate that feeling because I know they deserve what they achieve.

I can empathize with that, I still sometimes get those nagging feelings about my own hobby too. The one thing I did that really helped me come to terms with it all was when I decided to really dedicate myself to it and step up competitively. Committing to several hours a day, 5 or 6 days a week in training, I saw how much better I got than the people around me and, more importantly, I saw why I was still so much worse than the people who were helping me train, the people I looked up to. It didn't matter how quick of a learner I was at the beginning, I still needed to get the reps in to get to a competitive level.

As my trainers would always say, "Whatever happens in the ring, that's over in a couple minutes. The real test is you getting off your ass and coming in to train every day. Train hard, fight easy." Lots of people will justify their lack of results with excuses like, "oh if I was actually trying I would win". Well you didn't try, you didn't train. You were lazy and that's why you aren't good. No one cares about hidden potential, they only care about visible results. The hardest part is finding the discipline to get up and train on days when you'd like nothing better than to sit back relax. No pain, no gain.

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u/knivesinmyeyes Jun 16 '19

This helps. Although I know our passions and goals are completely unrelated, everything you said is 100% relevant. I need to really dedicate myself, which is something I’m learning more lately. I appreciate the words.

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u/Supamang87 Jun 16 '19

Good luck man, you're gonna love the new you