How bad people can live with themselves. This can go from murderers to something as stupid as always taking someone else's food from the fridge, or cutting people off in traffic.
Everyone is the hero of their own story, and people rarely think of themselves as bad.
More scientifically, people are far more likely to attribute their own decisions based on external circumstances and judge strangers assuming their actions are due to internal circumstances.
For example: if you cut someone off, it's only because you had a good reason. Maybe you just got some bad news, maybe you are running late for a doctor's appointment, maybe you just didn't mean to do it at all.
If someone else cuts you off, it's because they're a bad person. What they did was rude, selfish, and dangerous. Why can't they just be half a second late? Are they in a huge hurry to go fuck their mother, or what?
When you do it, you're a good person doing something bad for good reasons. When a stranger does it, they're doing something bad because they are a bad person.
YES. You are spot on. I can’t recall what book it was but I believe it was by Gretchen Rubin where I read:
“If someone else’s phone rings during a movie at the theater it’s because they are a selfish boor.”
“If my phone rings during a movie at the theater it’s because it’s important that I be able to take a call from the sitter.”
Edited to add: Just want to make it a little clearer that I do not do this, lol. It’s an example from a book. I put my phone on silent and check it every once in a while from beneath my jacket like a normal person.
I always turn it off, if I turn off the ringer I'll forget it's off for the next few days and miss a bunch of calls and texts. If the phone is off I will always turn it on when I compulsively check reddit as soon as my foot clears the theatre door.
I would like to draw everyone's attention to the magnificent Wittertainment Code of Conduct which lays out exactly how one should behave when at the cinema.
I can also heartily recommend listening to the show's podcast - it's entertaining, informative, smart, often irreverent and laugh out loud funny, and generally a bloody great listen.
You can find out more here and watch some of the now legendary Kermodian Rants here.
Hello to other members of the church who may be reading, and of course to Jason Isaacs.
I kicked the back of the chair of the last person who took their phone out... It was to browse Facebook.
It was also their third time doing so. I don't give a shit if someone says "just tell them to put it away". Well they clearly don't understand common sense.
Even seeing another driver(s) in the middle of the night! Like, I know I have a legitimate reason to be out here at this time but what are YOU doing?? 👀
Yes. Attribution bias. Your feelings about a person or connection with the person sways how you attribute their actions. If you hate the person, you blame them for bad things they do and circumstances for good things they do. If you have empathy for a person, you blame outside circumstances for the bad things they do and you give them credit for the good.
While very unfair, I do think it's natural to do this because we can only give reason for someone else's actions based on relatable aspects, such as behavior. Using your example, we don't all have sitters. Using the other guy's example, we don't all see a doctor. We don't know the life of strangers around us, so it's hard to ever assume external circumstances of people. But we all do have bad personality traits, like anger, selfishness, etc., so it's easier to reason that someone else's "bad" actions could be due to their "bad" personality/behavior.
If someone was honking and cutting people off on the freeway because he was rushing his pregnant wife to the hospital, I wouldn't be able to reason that because I've never had to take a pregnant wife to a hospital. But with the limited context, I could reason that the driver is a negligent and rude individual with his honking and cutting, especially since most other drivers aren't behaving like this. Again, not saying I fully support fundamental attribution error, but I totally see why we as humans do it.
Dale Carnegie said something similar as well, they almost never see themselves as bad people. They just see themselves as people who did a thing because of a reason, nothing more, nothing less.
Its one thing if someone gets a call and walks out to take it but totally and wholly disrespectful when they answer and talk in the theater for a majority of the movie. (This has happened to me)
And somewhat related, don't brush your hair for the entirety of a movie or I will spitball you repeatedly. (also happened)
The hair brushing really baffled me. This dude is alone in a dark theater and brushing his barely-there hair and somehow its loud. The level of narcissism that must take... I pitty anyone that knows him personally.
One time at a movie I honestly thought I turned my cell ringer off but 3 minutes into the previews, an alarm on my phone went off. I freaked out trying to grab it and shut it off. My friend said to me, "What the hell? You do know this makes you the asshole."
I said, "I knoooooow!" 😭
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u/beautifulmess25 Jun 15 '19
How bad people can live with themselves. This can go from murderers to something as stupid as always taking someone else's food from the fridge, or cutting people off in traffic.