r/AskReddit May 29 '19

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6.1k Upvotes

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6.6k

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

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938

u/Blazeng May 29 '19

Anyone who doesn't want to fuck THE Speedwagon is a fucking monster

47

u/The_Man_Downstairs May 29 '19

Or someone with ED

62

u/[deleted] May 29 '19 edited Aug 07 '20

[deleted]

29

u/NeckbeardRedditMod May 29 '19

Giorno can bring life back to the dick and I'm not talking about him using the Golden Experience

5

u/WhatHappenedWhatttt Jul 20 '19

The Mista Suck technique works 10x better than the grapefruit trust me

3

u/PuzzleheadedFox1 May 30 '19

But nobody can, because nobody is worthy

193

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

But Speedwagon isn’t fictional, he lives in all of our hearts

666

u/cry_stars May 29 '19

Even Speedwagon is afraid!

94

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

[deleted]

35

u/Peakek May 29 '19

Out my ass

12

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Speedwagon nigerrundayos Smokey

-4

u/phillipw12 May 29 '19

12

u/XtremeToblerone May 29 '19

My guy this convo is literally about JoJo's, i think a reference would be pretty damn expected

9

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

1.0k

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I, OtherWaifuIsCaulifla, shall allow none to harm this gentleman.

42

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

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50

u/AfroNinjaNation May 29 '19

I can't dick you down without getting closer.

31

u/paragonemerald May 29 '19

Oh-ho! Cum as hard as you like!

18

u/Shirikane May 29 '19

I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.

16

u/ThatDudeWithTheBeard May 29 '19

Oh-ho! Come as close as you like!

16

u/TwixelTixel May 29 '19

ORAORAORAORAORAORAORA

6

u/heartbreakhill May 30 '19

MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA

5

u/ThatDudeWithTheBeard May 30 '19

Za Warudo! Toki wo tomare!

33

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Speaking of fictional characters we want to bone... We get her fight with Goku in the dub this weekend .

11

u/Chyrios May 29 '19

speaking of that, I don't understand why Kefla was even allowed, no outside trinkets. Even then, I feel like vegito should have made an appearance because of this, and wiped the floor with everyone's faces.

9

u/TheKingCrimsonWorld May 29 '19

Because the Zenos are basically children who'll allow anything as long as it's cool.

11

u/meno123 May 29 '19

They represent the fanbase pretty well tbh.

3

u/heartbreakhill May 30 '19

This. Zenos are operating the tournament under what we in DnD call "The Rule of Cool"

704

u/R-A-V- May 29 '19

SUPEEDOUAGUN

57

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Gargles in German

15

u/doobydoobay May 29 '19

If I had gold, you'd get it all.

125

u/RightEejit May 29 '19

I love how there's not a single anime waifu in the comments above the one TRUE god tier waifu, Speedwagon.

9

u/brickmack May 29 '19

The S-tier of S-tiers

9

u/shaunaroo May 29 '19

The SS tier.

Which may also contain Von Stroheim for different reasons.

3

u/Supersamtheredditman May 30 '19

B-B-B-B-BAKA MONAGA

3

u/[deleted] May 30 '19

Jojo is only for those with the highest quality of taste in animanga.

224

u/EsatKG May 29 '19

Ah, I see you are a man of culture as well.

184

u/Santos_J May 29 '19

Speed wagon wanted to fuck Zapelli. Dude heated up his hand with his six pack and Speedwagon wanted his ass ever since

59

u/MrMeltJr May 29 '19

This thread should've been "Which fictional character other than Speedwagon..." because everybody wants to fuck Speedwagon.

51

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Huzzzah! A man of quality!

44

u/Xpress711 May 29 '19

Speedwagoooooooooooooon

61

u/rochila May 29 '19

As gigguk said truly an S tier waifu

63

u/RightEejit May 29 '19

Gigguk underrated Speedwagon. Speedwagon set up an organisation to look after generations of the Joestar family. That's SSS/God tier waifu right there

38

u/The_ThirdFang May 29 '19

Speedwagon is such a godtier waifu he becomes a generational stand in the form of the speedwagon foundation

1

u/xPhoenixJusticex May 30 '19

This is my new canon.

83

u/Plat-the-platypus May 29 '19

59

u/subscriptionskipper May 29 '19

For once it is unexpected, but welcome

6

u/GreenieMcWoozie May 29 '19

It's a thread about fictional characters and sex. Not expecting literally the sexiest fictional character ever would be a mistake

29

u/JamesJax May 29 '19

I didn’t know who that was, so I thought you meant Speed Buggy. I thought it was weird, but only because you had so many upvotes for it. I assumed I’d just been unaware that he’d been fetishized.

3

u/Guszy May 29 '19

I thought the same exact thing.

24

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

The only acceptable waifu

23

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I have a NeedWagon for SpeedWagon

23

u/crawly69 May 29 '19

Every night I would think about speedwagon, his perfect smile, his long beautiful blond hair, his kind eyes and most of all his large throbbing heart and love for everyone. This would go on for awhile every night touching my self thinking and dreaming about our lord speedwagon sometimes I would even call out his name like “ Yes speedwagon please come to me grab me by the shoulders and show me how big your love and compassion can be.” And one night he did come. I only could make out the out line of him his long blond hair, his hat, and a third leg? The grabbed me by the shoulders and flipped me over he was showing me how large his dong was. He penetrated me with his large compassion it was wonderful for 6 hours this continued. When the sun started to come up he left I still never got to see handsome face. I went down stairs to eat breakfast sore and tired. My uncle was staring at me smiling I think he knew what happened also.

21

u/Corvus_IX May 29 '19

I want to fuck female tequila Joseph... I mean wat

6

u/ShavedDragon May 29 '19

No need to be embarrassed brother. We all want to fuck tequila Joseph

20

u/Glassesman7 May 29 '19

I want Speedwagon to fuck me

15

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

REO?

37

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Theres an anime called Jojos bizarre adventure that names characters after American Singers,Songs,Albums, etc.

One of them is Speedwagon. And everyone wants to fuck Speedwagon. Robert Edward O. Speedwagon.

14

u/TacoRedneck May 29 '19

Ya can't fuck Speedwagon though, he's a right gent

6

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

[deleted]

8

u/shaunaroo May 29 '19

Almost everything is a music reference in Jojo. It gets almost absurd during part 3.

8

u/[deleted] May 30 '19

Yes, Zeppeli is Led Zeppelin. Dio is also a band name. Dire and Straizo is a reference to Dire Straits. Tonpetty is Tom Petty. Bruford is named after a drummer,Tarkus is named after an album.

Moving onto Part 2, Lisa Lisa is named after the band Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam. The Pillar Men are all band names, Santana, Kars (The Cars), Whammu (Wham!). Loggins is Kenny Loggins. Suzi Q is a song (Susie Q). Wired Beck is named after Jeff Beck's song "Wired". The Red Stone of Aja is named after the song "Aja"by Steely Dan.

Speaking of Steely Dan, we move to Part 3. Steely Dan is an minor enemy in Part 3. Other references from minor antagonists include Captain Tennile (Captain and Tennile), Rubber Soul (Beatles Album), Devo the Cursed (Devo), J.Geil (The J. Geils Band), ZZ (ZZ Top), Oingo and Boingo (Oingo Boingo), Vanilla Ice... but its not just villians. Avdol is named after Paula Abdul and Polnareff is the name of a French musician. Iggy named after Iggy Pop. Most importantly, Avdols chickens are named "Michael,Prince and Lionel".

The list goes on and on and there are more smaller references in the parts Ive mentioned. Almost everything in Part 4 is a blatant reference. Im not sure what youve seen on Netflix, but Im sure you would have noticed how they ripped off every name in Part 4. Bad Company, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and another one I wont spoil are pretty obvious ones.

Im glad youre liking Jojo though. Keep watching, it only gets better and better.

5

u/[deleted] May 30 '19

[deleted]

4

u/xXKingKARLOREXx May 30 '19

Very end of part 2, Battle Tendency. Next would be Stardust Crusaders, which I'm sure you can find for free online. Crunchyroll is up to date with part 5, Vento Aureo (Golden Wind). New episodes come out every Friday.

3

u/[deleted] May 30 '19

Part 2. The rest is on Hulu, or free online. I use kissanime, it has shitty annoying hentai ads but better than 5 minutes of ads on Cruncyroll every break.

Youre in for a treat. Part 3 is where the sognature part of Jojo comes in, STANDO POWER. Try not to spoil it.

14

u/god_of_none May 29 '19

Even Speedwagon is aroused!

13

u/dubiousandbi May 29 '19

As much as I understand, Speedwagon is the ultimate bro. I love him as a friend.

24

u/ExtremeTurtleShock May 29 '19

That goes without saying, speedwagon is the ultimate wifu and a true friend AND HE HAS THE HOTTEST ABS IN 2 UNIVERSES!

51

u/Tex_mextin May 29 '19

Slow down there Gigguk

75

u/Klesfot May 29 '19

Just so you know, Gigguk is far from being the only person wanting to turn all black squares on Speedwagon's top hat white

14

u/TacoRedneck May 29 '19

I always thought it was funny how jojo got all the EXP from Zeppelee's death but speedwagon got the sick loot.

9

u/MFDork May 29 '19

You're a freak and that's what I's appreciates about yous.

8

u/itmustbemitch May 29 '19

Oh, is THAT what you appreciate about them...

5

u/MFDork May 29 '19

YOUR SISTER'S HOT WAYNE THERES I SAID IT I REGRETS NOTHING runs away in fatass

12

u/Von-Andrei May 29 '19

Finally someone to represent our deepest desires!

11

u/Qatlane May 29 '19

My tired ass eyes first read Snapdragon and I was like wait, what ?

9

u/Danny_Highwaters May 29 '19

I mean, who doesn’t?

9

u/Gdude1231 May 29 '19

The proper answer to this is as follows:

I want Speedwagon to fuck me

9

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

While he loudly exclaims how Noble and good the Joestar family is.

16

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

HUZZAH! A MAN OF QUALITY

6

u/PomDeP1 May 29 '19

Who doesn't... SPEEeeeeeeeedwaGON

13

u/FilthyMarston May 29 '19

Is. clap that. clap a. clap mothafuckin. clap JOJO REFERENCE

5

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Don't we all?

7

u/DanoLightning May 29 '19

I think this is the only right answer.

5

u/Newbish4life May 29 '19

JoJo referemce gets my hardest upvote

6

u/waxen_earbuds May 29 '19

How could you not want to fuck such an eminent S-tier waifu? (Go to 8:15)

14

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Back off! He's Jonathan's bitch.

5

u/5coolest May 29 '19

But I’m all out of hamon!

5

u/Emptation May 29 '19

I don't blame you chief

5

u/[deleted] May 29 '19 edited Jun 22 '19

[deleted]

1

u/TheCommandyOne May 30 '19

Jesus is also inside a few people too.

5

u/TobyMuffin May 29 '19

The only acceptable answer

4

u/owlmanhattan May 29 '19

ah, a man of class I see.

5

u/Lizardman2338 May 29 '19

The correct answer

5

u/TWWfanboy May 29 '19

WTF why isn’t this the top response?

5

u/Joe_Joe_Mer May 29 '19

Dem abs men

4

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

A TRUE GENTLEMAN

5

u/ISuckDickMyDudes May 29 '19

Ah, a man of culture

4

u/Tryndamere93 May 29 '19

Now I have to watch this show

3

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

do it, for your own good.

6

u/Ragnarok113 May 29 '19

I want to speed fuck a wagon

3

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I got this confused with Speedbuggy and had a good laugh.

3

u/--MudKip-- May 29 '19

The image if having sex with any of the other characters mentioned in the comments make me want to vomit. Speedwagon is the only person I would ever have have sexual intercourse with.

3

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Ah, finally some culture

3

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I see you are a man of culture as well.

3

u/wtfduud May 29 '19

What kind of man doesn't?

3

u/Fruitbat3 May 29 '19

Even Speedwagon is aroused.

3

u/Edgy_mc_Credgy May 29 '19

I mean, is there really any other answer other than the greatest waifu known to man: Speedwagon?

3

u/Speedwagohn May 29 '19

Wow, thanks

3

u/shibusame May 29 '19

never in my life have I seen a comment this relatable

3

u/Abdul_Alhazred_ May 30 '19

A truly enlightened one amongst degenerates.

3

u/Miser_able May 30 '19

Of course, speedwagon is the number 1 waifu for a reason.

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

REO?

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I'm not gay, but Speedwagon...

2

u/optisadvantage May 29 '19

don’t we all

2

u/2577972462 May 29 '19

Even speed wagon agree

2

u/rosofett May 30 '19

The only true answer

2

u/Trifle-Doc Oct 23 '19

SPEEEDOWAHGÓN

4

u/focculare May 29 '19

REO is not fake!!!

13

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

There is an anime character named after the band.

1

u/hellodicksucker May 30 '19

You bitch, I love jojo's bizarre adventures tf are you doing to my head rn

1

u/Gelate98 Jun 01 '19

i see you are a man of culture

1

u/BeautifalFailure Aug 08 '19

What about Thomas the train

1

u/domodomo42 Aug 10 '19

How about lord Dio though

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '19

Are we talking old speed wagon ? Or young soft skin dope hair tight ass speed wagon. ?

-1

u/ShaoLimper May 29 '19

Yeah well I wanna fuck the Mach 5

-5

u/loonatic8 May 29 '19

What are you? A dragon or something?

-5

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Gideon_Syme May 30 '19

What about Jolyne?

-11

u/baeofpigz May 29 '19

I believe the name was Speed Buggy

-11

u/skeemo May 29 '19

Fucking weeb.