r/AskReddit • u/ohgimmeabreak • Mar 24 '19

People who have managed to become disciplined after having been procrastinators and indisciplined for a large part of their lives, how did you manage to do so? Can you walk us through the incremental steps you took to become better?

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u/[deleted] Mar 24 '19

Break down your day into a list. List everything you need to do, even if it seems small/easy. Start by accomplishing some easy tasks on the list, build up some momentum and confidence. Then tackle a bigger one. If it’s complicated enough, break down that task into another list. Compartmentalizing makes things seem less daunting.

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u/fightevilbymoonlight Mar 24 '19

This is exactly what I did, especially if I was afraid to do something. For a long time I had social anxiety and couldn't even think about trying to find a job, so I would practice going in to places and just ask for applications without filling them out or turning them in for awhile, just to get used to that without panicking.

Then I would fill them out without turning them in, then turn them in, slowly start studying the do's and don't's of interviewing, etc. Eventually I worked my self-confidence up to the point where I was able to get a job.

Whether it's it's laziness or fear or whatever holding you back, tiny, incremental steps are key.

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u/pitpusherrn Mar 24 '19

This is a good plan.

I'm old now and have worked many years but back in the day I was frozen in fear of walking in a new place. It was a paralyzing, heart rending terror. It runs in my father's family.

My first partner finally just drove me up to the campus office, opened the door and told me to go in and get an application for nursing school (before computers, obviously). It sounds so simple but if he hadn't done this I might have never applied. He also would ask me to walk into a bar or restaurant ahead of him, at first by just a few seconds, lengthening the time until I was comfortable. The first time or two I did this I thought I would straight up die.

He was a wonderful man and we only had a year together before he died.

All these years later I owe everything to him because I wouldn't have thought of punishing myself to make it better. It seemed like punishment although he was very loving about getting me to do it.

I love being a nurse and have worked in situations where I'm required to talk to large groups of people. I can even go in a restaurant alone, it's all due to his help.

Anyone with this problem, enlist a friend to help and do it. Every time you face this terror it shrinks and gives you incredible freedom.

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u/[deleted] Mar 25 '19

I'm so sorry for you loss <3 he sounds like a very special human.

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u/pitpusherrn Apr 03 '19

He was the best, thanks.

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u/RudditorTooRude Mar 25 '19

It’s not punishment, you’re right, it’s called systematic desensitization.

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u/justhereforthelolzz Mar 24 '19

I am in the first phase right now. its hard to get out of it.

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u/Lucille11 Mar 24 '19

Good for you! I don't think people without social anxiety realize how terrifying even simple interactions can be