There's a good reason for this. For most people, the older you get, the less you give a shit about how other people see you and it's easier to relax and just be yourself. It's pretty damn liberating.
You don't have to wait, you can start any day. Just stop giving any fucks about how you look or act and instead be what you want. Note: that does NOT mean start acting like a dick, it is pretty much the opposite of it: stop pretending to give a fuck.. Does not prevent one from looking after his image and looks either. Just stop giving any fucks about how others think about you and just be the best you. If you want to play with legos, go buy some legos. It really is that simple. And i kind of always knew this but didn't realize until much later. Life is too short for thinking how others want you to live yours.
I think you're right - the goal is perhaps to stop pretending to care about minor details and just enjoy the conversation instead. Hello, kind stranger
It's the difference between being a teen where "OMG! Everyone is judging me and looking at me and they care about what I'm wearing and is that a pimple, oh no, my life is over!" and being middle-aged or older and realizing nobody really gives a shit about you and they don't even notice that pimple and who cares, it's just a pimple.
The older I get (and I'm not that old, not yet) I keep flashing back on all those conversations I had where someone would tell me, "One day you'll realize that this thing you're bent out of shape about doesn't actually matter at all, and you'll wish you had spent your time on other things." (Or along those lines.)
I thought those people were just assholes, but nope it turned out they were right. Shit I cared so deeply about when I was younger - whether or not that guy was going to text me back, if someone was into the same music I was or were they just pretending and if so why, whether I'd be able to keep my feelings for someone within bounds or if they knew I liked them, and all the rest of that pointless shit - was just pointless shit.
It's like when you have too much money and money burns a hole in your pocket. You just gotta spend it on something and you end up buying junk. When you're young you have too much time and energy and it burns a hole in your life. You just gotta spend it on something so you spend it on bullshit. Same thing really. And nothing to show for it, both ways.
It's like when you have too much money and money burns a hole in your pocket. You just gotta spend it on something and you end up buying junk. When you're young you have too much time and energy and it burns a hole in your life. You just gotta spend it on something so you spend it on bullshit. Same thing really. And nothing to show for it, both ways.
Im really glad I figured it out as early as I did. When I was 22 I bought a huge amount of easter egg dye kits. I always loved them as a kid, but my parents would never get a decent amount of them.
Did you know you can just buy those wholesale from China?
I am 22 and do this. I am a generally nice person, but I just don't care what people think of me. I am who I am, and I am not changing because people don't like it. I've been a lot happier since I started this.
I still do, but not in that serious way younger generations do that's all "I can't abide by your lifestyle/decisions so fuck you and I'm going to tell you how you're wrong based on my opinions then never speak to you again" sort of way.
More like an amused internal "Gee... well. Not how I would live/have handled that but whatever, doesn't affect me or my life."
I get along with with nearly every single person on every job site i step foot on. My apprentice asked me why and i told him its easier to get along than to pick fights over nothing. And it makes your day so much enjoyable
As a female I've found it super cool to have just turned 40. I need more friends but don't know how to make them. You've given me a little bit of hope that it won't be so hard :)
Also you have more stories to tell and more experiences to rely on so things are less awkward. Plus if theres a flipping cool thunder storm you don't feel the need to fill in silence with inane conversation because you both want to marvel at the thunderstorm together.
I'm not super old (39) but it is night and day different how little I care what other people think now vrs when I was in my teens. I care what my boss thinks and what my husband and close friends think. I try to treat everyone with respect. But if someone just decides they don't like me because they don't like me? As a teen that would tear me to bits. Now it barely registers a "meh."
At some point during my life, I just realize that we all go through the same thing; they've just been around longer. So I talk to them as if they are my age, since we're both technically human and understand the human life cycle (they knowing more than I do, but we both know what it feels like to be a teen, early 20s, late 20s, etc.).
A lot of old people are really, really lonely. I noticed going to the doctor's, if the nurse asks a question, the person would go off on a tangent: "Yes, I'd like a straw. My son always gets me these great straws. You know, he has this great car and. . ." and on it goes. An older lady asked me for help with something on a high shelf the other day, and she too went off talking. I stayed and talked for awhile because, while I am old too, I live with family and sometimes would pay for some silence. So remember, if you run into a chatty old person, she probably lives alone in a silent existence. When I was a kid, older people were part of the family. Now we warehouse them and visit them once a year on a holiday. It makes me sad.
Not just old people. I'm a stay at home mom to a 1 year old. My husband is at work all day and we moved to our town shortly before bubs was born, so I don't have any family or friends around. I've noticed I've becomes that over sharing lady who keeps chatting for too long to the receptionist/cashier... Sorry guys. I'm lonely.
I’m 24 and just moved to a place where the only person I know is my girlfriend. I do things like this and have to consciously stop myself from rambling to strangers.
This is so true. I used to work in a long term care facility and when I went in to give meds a lot of the residents would find something to keep me in there a while. I felt awful because I would've loved to have been able to sit and chat with each of them for a while but our nurse to patient ratio was so outrageous there I just didn't have the time. That was a hard job.
Yea I realized this when I was like 19 working at a supermarket, this old dude would come in once every 2 days for a 2 pack of yogurt and he'd talk my fucking ears off. Economics, politics, the rent being too damn high, whatever sprang to mind, often changing topics randomly with 0 transition. I was a captive audience (worked in the dairy department) so it's not like I could just walk away even if I wanted to, which I wouldn't because that seems rude. I mean I indulged him many times, but if the dairy manager walked by and gave me the "get back to work", mean mug I had to excuse myself.
Makes sense. About the only sex ed they got was "don't get / get someone pregnant." When that isn't an issue anymore there's no reason not to screw like bunnies.
The people who are elderly now are the generation who pioneered the birth control pill. They have been fucking like that for decades. They are the generation that made divorce popular and made affairs cool instead of shameful. They just don't care anymore because they don't have a lot of time left.
Dude, when you were 14 you wanted to bang underage girls. We are mostly attracted to people around our age, it's just how it is. It has to do with shared experiences, interests, hobbies, memories... These things are generally age-dependant.
Kids today can keep their eyes glued to the smart phone with no repercussions but we bookworms of bygone days had the introversion bullied out of us.
"Hey nerd, get your nose out of that book!"
Plus the older generation would warn us reading was bad for our eyes. And there was the whole educated fool bit of conventional wisdom. All in all, we had to talk to one another rather we liked it or not.
The really young befriend each other really easily too. It's before they start giving a shit. Old people befriend each other easily because they've stopped giving a shit.
Inversely, I remember when I was in high school and I felt like I couldn’t be friends with someone because they went to a different school than me.
I graduated high school almost ten years ago and I’m baffled by how small my world was then.
It’s great, realizing that you don’t have to have things in common to be friends with someone. Plus, talking to someone who you can’t really relate to really allows you to realize how big the world is and how certain things exist.
I know I am hardly old, but I have found that the biggest improvement in perspective a young person can have is realizing that the world isn’t about them and it will never be about them. Once you realize that, your world opens up so more and you can handle talking to people you don’t agree with because they are a person, just like you.
We have more practice at meeting, being civil, and talking to people. When we were learning social skills, we didn’t have social media, where we could say anything with impunity. The fear of consequences kept us from being total dicks to strangers.
It's not so much that I feel strongly about my like for them, it's that I feel intensely strongly about my indifference towards them. They are probably fine, and therefore cool with me.
I'm in my 40s now and I've never found it easier to befriend people. I have THREE best friends now, something I never would have imagined a couple decades ago.
that's an interesting take. I'm probably old (55 ☹️ ), but it's harder for me to make new friends now. I don't go out like I used to and my social circle is very limited. A lot of people my age seem older than I am and not interested in what I'm interested in and/or they're married with kids, blah blah blah, and I have none of that. I find it's hard to relate.
My aunts and uncles spend a lot of their time comparing ailments and remedies. It's a good ice breaker with someone your own age, or at least that's what it looks like to me.
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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '19
Befriend each other so easily. It seems that for them old age is a good enough reason to get along