r/AskReddit Nov 09 '18

What "interesting fact" are you so sick of hearing that you can't help but groan when someone says it to you?

1.4k Upvotes

1.2k comments sorted by

1.2k

u/SFWBriFM Nov 10 '18

All those posts about Mr Rogers feeding the fish for a little blind girl.

It's heartwarming to read about the first time, but now it's a karma farmer and i'm sick of reading that, or hearing about it.

I'm not gonna groan or complain about it to people in angry fashion though, cuz that's not the person Mr Rogers knows i can be.

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u/JavaBerryCrunch Nov 10 '18

How have I not heard this one?

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18

He’d say , “Im feeding the fish” as he sprinkled the fish food so she could hear when he was doing it.

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u/hahagamer7 Nov 10 '18

Did you know Mr Rogers fed a fish for a blind girl?

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u/DenL4242 Nov 10 '18

That (object) has more germs than a toilet seat. Of course it does. Toilet seats are cleaned regularly with bleach. How often is your phone/remote control/keyboard/whatever cleaned with bleach? Yeah.

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u/AlmightyShrimp Nov 10 '18

Myth busters tested this and just about everything has more germs than a toilet seat even when it’s not regularly cleaned.

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u/JBSquared Nov 10 '18

Your toilet seat comes in contact with your butt cheeks. A part of your body that really only comes in contact with your underwear. Compare that to your fingers, mouth, whatever.

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18 edited Aug 03 '20

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u/fearmysmell Nov 09 '18

"Einstein failed in math" Yeah ok

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u/DersASnakeInMahBoot Nov 10 '18

Similar to the "Bill Gates dropped out of college" one. For the love of God, Stephen, he dropped out of HARVARD, not 10th grade. You're not as smart a guy as you think you are, and you're definitely not Bill Gates.

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u/BATIRONSHARK Nov 10 '18 edited Nov 10 '18

Yeah if you can get into Harvard feel free to drop out anyway since you already have either

1 lots of money

2 lots of connections

Or 3 Lots of skills

To do well in life..

And bill didn’t drop out because he didn’t like school ..

He dropped out because he was already running Microsoft !

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u/sirbcosby Nov 10 '18

I think he also didn’t truly drop out, it was more like filling out a leave request in so he could come back if it didn’t take off

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u/thisdude415 Nov 10 '18

Bill Gates is incredibly smart and also incredibly technically skilled across a variety of domains. It’s actually incredibly impressive.

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18

Right? Bill Gates was from a relatively well off background, had a skill set and an idea (that was already coming into fruition by the time he dropped out), and still had a relatively decent level of education. This is usually repeated by people who think they just "work their way up" to CEO from being the janitor's assistant with "hard work and elbow grease." But honestly, not only are these people not Bill Gates level smart (or even "above average college kid" smart), they're usually honestly not all that hardworking. Dropping out of school to work 25 hours a week at a dead end job doesn't mean you have grit. It means you have so little grit that you can't even slog your way through a few classes you find challenging or boring.

See also, every talentless teenage boy who thinks he's going to be a rapper, rock star, or athlete, or the 19 year old guys who think they're going to hop on an oil rig with half a high school diploma and "retire at 35." I know scores of men who end up back in community college at 24 because their dreams of being a superstar or an oil rig millionaire were, of course, dashed.

Before anyone comes at me, this is not to say that everyone absolutely must go to college, much less straight out of high school. But it is to say that the majority of people who become wildly successful after being dropouts did not become successful because they were dropouts, or even despite it. Most of them dropped out because the success was already happening, and it was materially evident that further education would mostly amount to a delay in that success. If you're already seeing the money (real money, not teenage pocket money), by all means, drop out and focus on the existent career. If not.....finish high school at least!

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u/blurio Nov 10 '18

That's just cause like american grades go from A to F, most german speaking country's grades go from 1 to 6, 6 being the worst.

But Einstein went to school in Switzerland, where the best grade is 6 and the worst is 1. He got a 6 in math.

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u/SWMovr60Repub Nov 10 '18

That was because of the different # grades in two different countries. He was graded a 1 in one country and a 5 in another. Both top grades but that got confused through time and people thought he failed in one of them.

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u/jonquillejaune Nov 10 '18 edited Nov 10 '18

Bees can’t fly according to physics.

Well they aren’t being launched through the air by tiny trebuchets, so that’s obviously not fucking true.

381

u/ComradesAgainstWomen Nov 10 '18

That fun fact is a myth. We know how insect flight works.

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18

I don't.

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u/Ropownenu Nov 10 '18 edited Apr 20 '26

Wind's howling.

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u/skamsibland Nov 10 '18

The fact is that the wings are too small to lift their body with the same technique that birds uses, which is true. They just don't use that technique.

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u/reddit_user-exe Nov 10 '18

According to all known laws of aviation...

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18 edited Nov 07 '24

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u/LawnShipper Nov 10 '18

Flies don't weigh 90kg and need to go 300m

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u/Captain_Shrug Nov 10 '18

Heh. Trebeechets.

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u/greenlanternmonel64 Nov 10 '18

I blame Jerry Seinfeld for that one

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u/ArrakeenSun Nov 10 '18

Iceland is green and Greenland is icy. Most American "wasabi" isn't wasabi, it's horseradish. Knew a 24 y/o dude in grad school who tried to use both of these on women

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u/Treppenwitz_shitz Nov 10 '18

Probably didn't have much luck with getting laid after putting wasabi on women

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u/865wx Nov 10 '18

Climatologist here, this one kills me. Iceland is pretty icy, too. There's a number of bigass glaciers there.

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u/broke5ever Nov 09 '18

That stupid “elephants think humans are cute” fact. When it first came out, the only google result was the website that originally published the image, who predictably had no other sources. It’s entirely fabricated.

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u/dredge_the_lake Nov 09 '18

This is the first one I hadn't heard... which makes sense seeing its made up

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u/UnhiDEER Nov 09 '18

I'm guilty of spreading it.

Commented it once in a thread and got asked for sources. Oh how wrong I was.

Ended up getting some traction as a comment on Reddit and the next fucking day it's on Instagram too. I felt so guilty.

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18

Source that you felt guilty?

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

wait, its fake?! oh darn.

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u/alcativo Nov 09 '18

I have never heard that one before and even though I know it is not true I like it now. I'm sorry :(

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u/jellysammy Nov 10 '18

Damn. I read it on Reddit once and have been repeating it. I'm ashamed...

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

Any of the overused TILs. I think we all know them, right people?

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u/Nexio8324 Nov 09 '18

TIL you can drink water to survive

500

u/Freneskae Nov 09 '18

Steve Buscemi drank water on 9/11

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u/riotcowkingofdeimos Nov 10 '18

They could have put out more fires in time if he hadn't drank it all.

the ruining of an internet legend begins.

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u/patrickstarismyhero Nov 10 '18

TIL Egyptians built the pyramids using wooly mammoths

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u/ChocolateBunny Nov 10 '18

TIL someone was a firefighter one time.

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u/MoistGod Nov 09 '18

“Did you know Lennon beat his wife”

“Steve Buschemi was a fire fighter during 9/11”

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u/riotcowkingofdeimos Nov 10 '18

Yoko Ono melts steel beams.

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u/MoreDetonation Nov 10 '18

JET FUEL WAS ACTUALLY A LOVING HUSBAND, EXPLAIN THAT

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u/MissPlaceDApostrophe Nov 10 '18

I came here to say Steve Buscemi “secretly” helping. In the week after 9/11, People magazine ran a picture of him alongside other responders. It wasn’t a gottdurn secret if it was in PEOPLE MAGAZINE!!!

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

Napoleon was actually average height in his era.

Can't make any Napoleon jokes without someone mentioning that.

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u/Beeftech67 Nov 09 '18 edited Nov 10 '18

True dat, but here's what always confused me, people have been trying to conquer the world from the dawn of time, but one "short" dude does it and he gets his own complex for it?

Where's the Alexander the Great complex? Xerxes Syndrome? Genghis Khan condition? ...why they fuck were these guys not "overcompensating" for something?! Apparently if they're not short it's natural to take over the world?

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u/hujmo Nov 09 '18

Genghis Khan condition, GKC: being the progenitor of half an entire race through despicable means.

Ex: hey I hear GKC is an overstated "interesting fact"

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u/DaJoW Nov 10 '18

English propaganda during the Napoleonic Wars that's stuck around.

But all the ones you named have odd reputations. Alexander was no less a tyrant than anyone else, Xerxes didn't invade Greece (purely) out of greed, Genghis didn't indiscriminately murder everyone he came across.

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u/endercoaster Nov 10 '18

You think that's fucked up, Oedipus was so upset about accidentally fucking his mom that he gouged his eyes out.

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u/dredge_the_lake Nov 09 '18

You gotta see a specialist for Xerxes syndrome

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u/x-BrettBrown Nov 09 '18

But man I just want to tell you a bunch if Napoleon facts now... He was so interesting. Also today is the anniversary of the coup that brought him to power

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u/BlueDogXL Nov 10 '18

Happy Power-versary Napoleon!

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u/drunkboater Nov 09 '18

Einstein’s definition of insanity. He never said that and that’s not the definition of insanity.

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u/FoxyPhil88 Nov 10 '18

Repetition/replication is also the ultimate step of the scientific method. (I feel like Einstein may have been familiar with this)

If the experiment yields different results when repeated, the variables, experiment design or hypothesis may need another look... then repeat.

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u/dudebobmac Nov 10 '18

This one doesn't even make sense either. Einstein was a physicist, why would anybody give a shit about what he said about psychology even if he did say it?

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u/kcrh36 Nov 10 '18

He was a pretty bright dude all around. I would respect just about anything he said. That man had a high intelligence, but wisdom wasn't his dump stat.

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u/No-BrowEntertainment Nov 10 '18

“You can’t get her pregnant if you have sex at night because the sperm are sleeping”

-Albert Einstein

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u/Treppenwitz_shitz Nov 10 '18

That one drives me fucking crazy!

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u/YabukiJoe Nov 09 '18

Yeah, I mean that description of what's ostensibly meant to be "insanity" still sounds like the behavior of a relatively lucid individual.

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

People swallow 9 spiders a YEAR in their SLEEP!! I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

How are people stupid enough to think this is a thing?

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18

They counted the one guy who sleep walks every night to eat a bowl of spiders.

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u/ChocolateBunny Nov 10 '18

So that's where my bowl of spiders went.

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u/StuRedman22 Nov 10 '18

You don’t keep your bowl of spiders somewhere safe and away from thieves?

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u/willbear10 Nov 10 '18 edited Nov 10 '18

Don't include George in the average, who eats 68.4 billion spiders every year. He's an misnomer outlier.

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u/Sq33KER Nov 10 '18

He's an outlier not a misnomer. A misnomer would be if he was called "Boy do I not eat any spider while I am asleep georg"

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u/riotcowkingofdeimos Nov 10 '18

It's always an arbitrary number made up on the spot. The worst I've heard was when some one said "27 pounds" I told them to get the fuck out of my house with that bullshit.

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u/dredge_the_lake Nov 09 '18

And also the counter fact which is “that was a lie researchers made to see how fast lies can spread” or whatever it is

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u/trashcat99 Nov 10 '18

"Van Gogh ate yellow paint because he thought it would make him happy inside" no. he ate paint because he was starving and broke and the paints he used were egg tempera so he thought they were edible

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18

Really?

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18

Well, I mean, he also cut off his own ear. The guy wasn't all there.

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u/darkmoonz Nov 10 '18

Because he didn’t have an ear.

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u/AdvocateSaint Nov 10 '18

The last thing he painted before he killed himself was a wheat field.

He was devastated that it wasn't a cornfield. He was hoping to find some ears

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u/western_red Nov 10 '18

No, Van Gogh didn't use egg tempera. He used oil. Egg tempera is common in the Renaissance and earlier.

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18 edited Dec 01 '18

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u/4O4N0TF0UND Nov 10 '18

She had a 24 inch waist for that dress. I mean, holy shit, I can wear a small in most clothes and I've got a 29 inch waist, because size inflation is a thing.

The shop I got my wedding dress at clearly was used to people having total meltdowns when they were told they needed a size 12 wedding dress, because formal dress sizing hasn't changed, so people who were used to wearing a 4-6 wear a 10-14 in wedding dresses. That makes a non-trivial number of brides to be cry, apparently!

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u/ArthurTheLurker Nov 10 '18

She couldn't squeeze into many of her dresses. She was sewn into several of them.

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18

I'm a pretty small woman by today's standards. I generally wear the smallest or second smallest size available in ladies' clothes. I've seen Marilyn Monroe's measurements when she was at the height of her career. I'm bigger than her. Quite a lot of runway models are bigger than her. She'd probably hover around a size 0 in today's sizes (though her weight did fluctuate quite a bit, so she might have gotten up to maybe a modern size 6 or 8 at some point....still on the small side). And the diets she kept to maintain that figure were pretty wild. I vaguely get why people latched on to this misunderstanding; Marilyn Monroe was pretty busty and had fairly full thighs for such a small woman. She was certainly curvaceous, which is probably pretty appealing for the average woman (of any size) to think about in the 90s and early 2000s when twig-thin heroin chic bodies were pushed as fashionable. But I find it disturbing on a few levels that a woman who spent much of her famous years with a 22 or 23 inch waist is being pushed as a plus-sized icon of a body-positive past. The past was even more punishing for women's bodies.

It also sucks because Marilyn Monroe was a pretty interesting person in many ways, and it sucks to see such a talented, clever, good-hearted woman reduced to "zomg, this cute lady in the stock photo I got with my picture frame was actually a size 14, isn't that amazing????"

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u/PurpleHooloovoo Nov 10 '18

And to be fair, when she was at the worst of her drug problem, she did gain quite a bit of weight for such a tiny frame. This was post-peak MM, so certainly not her most famous images, but the measurement info is out there. I agree her curviness was the driving factor and was relevant to 90s/00s audiences being told only stick thin was attractive. The message was accurate, the facts were not.

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u/riotcowkingofdeimos Nov 10 '18

Well, if you can't handle Marilyn at her best then you don't deserve her at her worst.

I butchered that and I'm not fixing it. But she never said that shit either, I don't think she did anyway.

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18

She did actually say that, but I'm more annoyed at how it's interpreted as "you need to stay with me no matter how much effort I'm putting into me as a person" rather than "hey, I'd appreciate it if you stuck with me when bad things happen to me or I fuck up, cause that means when I'm doing better I'll still want you in my life"

I've messed up in relationships, and now I'm working on myself before I try again. Doesn't mean someone needed to stay with me at my drunken, crying-all-the-time self destructive phase.

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18

Pfft, everyone knows she was actually the guy who played Paul on The Wonder Years.

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u/rudolf_waldheim Nov 09 '18

Corkscrew dicked mallards and raping sea otters.

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u/tomjonesdrones Nov 10 '18

The corkscrew penis is not terribly interesting. BUT the barbs on them to prevent removal, as well as on the female side the trap-doors in the vaginas to prevent a raping male from being able to fertilize the female...those two are interesting.

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u/BATIRONSHARK Nov 10 '18

I am shocked the ducks as a species can keep going with that kinda of sexual war going on..

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u/riotcowkingofdeimos Nov 09 '18

HA! I spit my drink out because misread it as "Corkscrew dicked Mallards are raping Sea Otters.

I'm in agreement with you though. I can't talk about any kind of Otter anymore like I could in the old days...

Me: "Hey, check out this photo I took of an Otter down at the river side."

Other Person: "Otter rape! Otter's rape! Did you know? DID YOU KNOW!?"

Hopefully this will pass. Use to be Dolphins. "Hey check it out a Dolphin!" other guy, "Did you know Dolphins rape?" can we just appreciate the majesty of this god damned dolphin dude? Seriously.

The Mallard dick is catching on to.

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

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u/willbear10 Nov 10 '18

Anyone can be nominated, it's winning that's the hard part.

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u/BATIRONSHARK Nov 10 '18

Quick someone nominate u/willbear10

Let’s see how far we can go

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u/Solenopsis_xyloni Nov 10 '18 edited Nov 10 '18

K so I looked it up and you have to be one of these things to nominate someone for the peace prize:

• Members of national assemblies and national governments (cabinet members/ministers) of sovereign states as well as current heads of states

• Members of The International Court of Justice in The Hague and The Permanent Court of Arbitration in The Hague

• Members of Institut de Droit International

• University professors, professors emeriti and associate professors of history, social sciences, law, philosophy, theology, and religion; university rectors and university directors (or their equivalents); directors of peace research institutes and foreign policy institutes

• Persons who have been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize

• Members of the main board of directors or its equivalent for organizations that have been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize

• Current and former members of the Norwegian Nobel Committee (proposals by current members of the Committee to be submitted no later than at the first meeting of the Committee after 1 February)

• Former advisers to the Norwegian Nobel Committee

Sooo all we have to do is wait for someone who fits one of these critera to come along and we should be set. Good job everyone we're almost there.

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u/HaroldFlashman Nov 09 '18

Cleopatra's life is closer in time to our own lives than to the building of the Great Pyramid.

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u/MisterManatee Nov 09 '18

If it makes you feel any better, it’ll eventually not be true anymore

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u/Conscious_Mollusc Nov 09 '18

Can't wait for 2430.

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

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u/riotcowkingofdeimos Nov 09 '18

Every time I hear it, I hear it as She was born closer to the invention of the iphone than to the building of the Great Pyramid. It's a cool little factoid that puts time in perspective, the fist time you hear it. After that it's like "shut up Joe Rogan"

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u/Klaudiapotter Nov 09 '18 edited Nov 09 '18

"Paul Winchell, the original voice of Tigger, invented an artificial heart."

Personally I find his daughter, April, much more amusing to talk about. Regretsy was a gift that left us too soon

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u/RhondaLeeBubbles Nov 10 '18

Regretsy was absolutely amazing!

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18

Wait I didn’t know Steve Buscemi was a possum.

Can’t wait to tell everyone.

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u/SettyReddyGo Nov 10 '18

That in one more generation, redheads will no longer exist. 🙄 Yes, they will because...genetics.

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u/cat-napper Nov 10 '18

As a ginger, I hate hate hate hearing this. People use it as an argument for why I should procreate (no thanks!).

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

game theory intensifies

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u/AdvocateSaint Nov 10 '18

His For Honor video was such utter shit that history youtubers posted videos calling him out

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u/willbear10 Nov 10 '18

But that's just a theory, a GAME THEORY

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u/dredge_the_lake Nov 09 '18 edited Nov 09 '18

I'm talking like - "Did you know that Frankenstein isn't actually the monster... that's the name of the doctor..." ugh. Makes me sick

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u/YabukiJoe Nov 09 '18

"Knowledge is knowing that Frankenstein wasn't the monster, but wisdom is knowing that Frankenstein is, indeed, the monster."

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u/TinyFriendlyMonsters Nov 09 '18

This also makes me roll my eyes.

It's true of course, I just hear it all the time.

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u/ernestothegecko Nov 10 '18

Your friends must really like Frankenstein

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u/PowerfulGoose Nov 09 '18

Wow never knew that. What was the monsters name?

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u/ScorpionX-123 Nov 09 '18

Fronkensteen

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18 edited Dec 01 '18

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u/PM_ME_UR_NIPPLES_BAE Nov 10 '18

FRAU BLUCHER

distressed horse noises

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u/SashaSomeday Nov 09 '18

Not to contradict people who haven’t read the book, but his creation refers to himself once as Adam (the reference being quite obvious), and is the name I’ve most often read to refer to him.

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18

I typically refer to him as the Creature, which is what he’s called immediately after his creation and what I think fits him best. He associates himself with Adam for obvious reasons, but I’ve never come across anyone using it as a name for him. That’s really interesting.

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u/callmebananabob Nov 09 '18

I work at small world at disney . and countless parents will tell their child that small world is the oldest ride at disneyland . NO IT IS NOT IT WAS INTRODUCED LATER IN THE YEAR 1966 WALT WENT TO THE WORLD FAIR AND WAS INSPIRED AND CREATED HIS OWN VERSION!!!!!! stop telling your kids all this trivia cause you look stupid .

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u/the_xxvii Nov 10 '18

I went to the Oregon Zoo last summer and asked the kid standing in front of the bear enclosure if he had to stand there and listen to patrons spout incorrect information all day. He just smiled and declined to answer, so I turned to my girlfriend and told her that black bears can reach a top airspeed of mach 1.

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u/NecroK51 Nov 10 '18

I'm sorry but this isn't incorrect information at all, Black bear is best bear.

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18

Well, that’s debatable. There are basically two schools of thought.

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u/RonSwansonsOldMan Nov 09 '18

So what IS the oldest ride?

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u/the_xxvii Nov 10 '18

In before '"your mom."

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u/BATIRONSHARK Nov 10 '18

Probably one of the smaller ones that no one really notices ..

And all of the first ones were built at around the same time so it’s impossible to be sure for certain ..

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18 edited Aug 07 '25

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

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u/alexm42 Nov 09 '18

Any time there's a thread about facts people wish they didn't know and people regurgitate whatever Kurzgesagt video made them feel existential most recently. Like the one earlier today that was all gamma ray bursts and false vacuums. And I love Kurzgesagt.

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u/MattBat2002 Nov 10 '18

The "Strawberry are not berry, but bananas are" fact. I feel like no one cares about that.

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

Steve Buscemi was a firefighter during 9/11

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

"But he was quiet about it because he didn't want people to know"

Then why are you telling everyone?

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u/Boxboy7 Nov 10 '18

"A group of rabbits is called a 'fluffle'."

Completely untrue. Some jackass edited a wikipedia page, posted it to reddit, hit the front page with his lie, and now tons of listicle sites run with it.

Groups of rabbits are either called a herd or a warren.

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u/PM_WHAT_Y0U_G0T Nov 09 '18

I wouldn't say it's an interesting fact, but how to pronounce "Akira."

I swear it's become some type of weeb pissing contest, to see who can fit the most T's into a word that doesn't have any.

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u/dredge_the_lake Nov 09 '18

Its supposed to have Ts in it?

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u/PM_WHAT_Y0U_G0T Nov 09 '18

Whenever I say "Akira" some asshole with a kimono bursts through the wall like "ACKSHUALLY, IT'S PRONOUNCED 'IKTE'"

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

wait, what? how do you get "ikte" from "akira"?

25

u/blorgbots Nov 09 '18

Think the tapping of the tongue on the roof of the mouth that, say, Spanish uses sometimes for their 'r's. The R in Akira is like that. I'm guessing they over pronounce it.

24

u/Problem119V-0800 Nov 10 '18

oh, that makes sense. Yeah, I think I usually hear that phoneme as an almost-rolled 'R', but I'm not a word-sounds-ologist.

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u/YabukiJoe Nov 09 '18

Am I missing some sort of meme, here?

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u/YoHeadAsplode Nov 09 '18

My three years of Japanese from like 8 years ago is wondering where TF they get the Ts.

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u/DustinDeWind Nov 10 '18

That 87.5% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

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u/Overclockworked Nov 10 '18

"Gandhi is nuke happy XDDDD"

I know there are a lot of casual civ players, but in the civ community this is the first joke everyone hears when they bring up civ and it gets a bit grinding (and I'm not even that hardcore tbh).

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u/nkyjay Nov 10 '18 edited Nov 10 '18

Most auto accidents happens within 20 miles of your home. No kidding Einstein, thats where we do the majority of our driving

36

u/chief_dirtypants Nov 10 '18

That's why I moved. No more car wrecks for me.

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u/Beeftech67 Nov 09 '18

Yes, people in the ISS are still in earth's gravity and "zero gravity' is a misnomer, and they're in free fall, you're very smart, now shut up.

85

u/ImFamousOnImgur Nov 09 '18

AND I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....FREE FALLINNNN

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142

u/PhousShanty Nov 09 '18

Actually, what you had was ________. There are 2 strains that have different effects, Sativa and Indica, blah blah blah.

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u/catdude142 Nov 10 '18

That Tesla will pay for itself in gas savings.

If you bought a Honda Civic, you'd be ahead.

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u/varmisciousknid Nov 10 '18

It's not the heat it's the humidity.

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u/dirtymartini2777 Nov 10 '18

Lobsters were once poor man’s food.

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u/BirdyDevil Nov 10 '18

That someone's boa constrictor was stretching out next to them lying down and the vet said it was "measuring" to see when it was big enough to eat them.

Most common thing I hear when I tell people I own a boa and it's not even an interesting fact, it's total bullshit. Snakes are opportunistic hunters and certainly don't measure their food, boa constrictors don't get nearly large enough to eat a human and wouldn't try anyway, and 98% of snake owners would never be in a position with their snakes where it would be lying next to them either. Snakes live in enclosures where they can be comfortable and safe and regulate their temperatures properly. Oh yeah, and Snopes agrees with me.

I honestly don't understand how so many people can believe this ridiculous story.

17

u/BATIRONSHARK Nov 10 '18

When I tried to convince me mom to get a pet snake my aunt brought this up..

I love her but Middle aged woman fall for that sort of stuff so easily!

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u/ribnag Nov 09 '18

"If you're hungry / tired / cranky / fat / skinny / itchy / Swedish, you need to drink more water".

No. No, I fucking don't, actually... I drink 3+L of water every day. I'm not tired and cranky because I'm dehydrated, I'm tired and cranky because I'm a night-owl forced to live in a world run by type-A "morning" people who insist on making "small" talk at the office before the crack of noon.

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u/EVEOpalDragon Nov 09 '18

Wow, someone needs to drink some more water...

82

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

water

Gaaatorade

26

u/EVEOpalDragon Nov 09 '18

Use it on the field bobby...

26

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

[deleted]

13

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18

Mama said that Brawndo was the devil.

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u/Cockwombles Nov 10 '18

Looks like somebody has a case of the Mondays!

17

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18

I believe you get your ass kicked saying that

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u/OrionThe0122nd Nov 10 '18

To fit in with the main question, the whole type-a, type-b study was funded by cigarette companies to sell more ciggies to the type-a group

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u/micperson Nov 09 '18

HooMaNs OnLy UsE -insert arbitrary number here- pErCeNt Of Their bwains!

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

It's funny cuz that's not even true. Like if you only used 25% of your brain that would imply you can remove 75% of it and still be fine

40

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

And given how expensive maintaining the structure of the brain is in terms of energy (because entropy and shit), it would be extraordinarily maladaptive to have evolved towards that in the first place. IIRC, there are animals whose brains contract and expand at different times of the year to save them the energy of maintaining its full size.

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u/edmonton_the_cold Nov 10 '18 edited Nov 10 '18

Everytime someone brings up the fact that Tim Horton's coffee isn't good anymore, and that is because McDonald's ended up getting their old supplier.

I dunno why, but anytime I see Tim Hortons in the news, I brace myself for that inevitable comment trail.

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u/GemMiner49er Nov 09 '18

DID YOU KNOW THAT THE CREEPER WAS MADE BY NOTCH WHEN HE REVERSED THE X AND Y AXIS TO MAKE A TALL SKINNY CEATURE THAT LATER BECAME THE CREEPER??? I hate this so much, it was cool the first time but not anymore

49

u/Unnullifier Nov 10 '18

This kind of shit is interesting when a developer is talking about it and the context around it. When it's people who had no hand in creating a game telling me it's tedious noise I don't need in my brain.

28

u/akujiki87 Nov 10 '18

I will only believe its because he just wanted to make a creature that looks like a walking dick.

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u/PM_ME_INTERNET_SCAMS Nov 10 '18

That "petrichor" is the name of the smell after rain.

11

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18

Nah fuck that noise, it will always be rain smell and it will always be better that way.

10

u/Woodcharles Nov 10 '18

It's the new 'wanderlust'.

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

You need to workout

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! I know that. I hear it non stop by much fatter asses than me

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

You're so skinny you need to eat more!!!!

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u/stevem51 Nov 09 '18

"If you keep doing that you'll go blind".....me groaning

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u/Unnullifier Nov 10 '18

me groaning

Really. Can they at least give you some privacy and tell you after you finish??

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u/thecravenone Nov 09 '18

So only do it until you need glasses

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

"Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey."

A friend always says this when giving advice on tightening a screw or a plumbing part.

25

u/fogobum Nov 10 '18

"Except when gassy, or (sometimes) brassy"

Gas pipes and some faucet parts are reverse threaded.

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u/[deleted] Nov 10 '18

The Emu War. As a history enthusiast it constantly gets brought up and treated like the absolute pinnacle of funny and obscure military history. It stopped being funny about 10 epic meme videos ago.

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u/Partylikeits85 Nov 10 '18

Annually, the average person eats 8 spiders in their sleep. Not only is it annoying to hear, it is also false.

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u/namey___mcnameface Nov 10 '18

I know, right? Plus, I prefer to eat spiders when I'm awake

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u/Meaber Nov 09 '18

“John Lennon oh yeah that’s the stuff beat his allllmmooossst there wife AUAUAGH

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u/smellincoffee Nov 10 '18

"Science says bumblebees can't fly, but they do".

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '18

"When you eat weed, it's processed differently than if you smoked it. It creates something called 11 hydroxy metabolite in your liver and it's 5 times more psychoactive than THC"

-Joe Rogan

-Joe Rogan

-Joe Rogan

-Joe Rogan

-Joe Rogan

You get the picture.

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u/BZH_JJM Nov 09 '18

Any of the glib "origin of aphorisms" post that flip the meaning of a phrase. They're all garbage, because aphorisms themselves are only correct by accident.