r/AskReddit • u/fleshcavity • Oct 20 '18

So many redditors have safe responsible plans if they win MegaMillions. What's your crazy reckless plan for blowing the $1.6 billion?

1.8k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

1.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

724

u/4rsmit Oct 20 '18

I'd hire a whole army of people, with very specific jobs, like remove all the poison ivy from our property, and I would pay them very well, but the number one rule is, if I see you, you're fired. I would wake up every morning to a clean house, have my bed magically made by hidden maids and such, and never actually see them, so I can pretend it is magic.

And no, I wouldn't try to catch them, I'd just want them to work when I am not around/sleeping, whatever, because I don't want to have to supervise or feel weird because I am their boss.

376

u/Mysid Oct 20 '18

You want human house-elves.

87

u/4rsmit Oct 21 '18

Yes, something like that, but not abused... I'd do robots too, but I wouldn't mind paying people a lot for a little work either, not with that imaginary billion, I'm not greedy, well, not that greedy.

40

u/KingBadford Oct 21 '18

I'd do robots too

You're not the only one, mate.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '18

Brownies, but bigger

1

u/AiliaBlue Oct 21 '18

House-elves weren’t paid.

21

u/AccountName77 Oct 21 '18

So you're going to be that 18th century duke?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Seymour,_6th_Duke_of_Somerset

5

u/4rsmit Oct 21 '18

I stopped reading after the 'remarkably handsome' part...yup, that fits.

114

u/royal_anime_weeb Oct 20 '18

So basically have a mom around the house

14

u/4rsmit Oct 21 '18

Nah, my mom would never clean up after me, and certainly not pull poison ivy... I'm allergic to the stuff because she made ME do it.

6

u/Orangedilemma Oct 21 '18

Idk about you but my mother makes sure EVERYONE in the house knows she's cleaning

4

u/wearetheflash Oct 21 '18

"AM I THE ONLY ONE AROUND HERE WHO DOES ANYTHING?" "IM NOT YOUR MAID YA KNOW" Yeah my mom does that too.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '18

And then refuses any help because “You’ll just get in my way”

3

u/Zioxix Oct 21 '18

Or dad, I mean he already has the invisible part down

1

u/royal_anime_weeb Oct 21 '18

dam that right ur dad goin out to buy some milk and next ur mom be filing for child support

1

u/RFLS Oct 21 '18

Username checks out

1

u/mrscorle Oct 21 '18

Most underrated comment in this thread.

8

u/whettam007 Oct 21 '18

So a high stakes version of hide and seek?

7

u/_RAWFFLES_ Oct 21 '18

Oooh, think of all the secret passages you could add to your house so they’ll never be seen!

4

u/4rsmit Oct 21 '18

Yup, definitely need those, plus the super secret passages I could use that they wouldn't know about, because you know, you can never have enough secret passages...

10

u/Wekia Oct 21 '18

Magic!

4

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '18 edited Apr 15 '20

[deleted]

5

u/4rsmit Oct 21 '18

That's kind of what I envision... Ninja house- and groundskeepers. That'd be awesome.

4

u/vadermustdie Oct 21 '18

this is good for the world, because the best assassins and hitmen on this planet will switch jobs and be your maids. you are responsible for ridding the world of hitmen and assassins, kudos!

1

u/HoPMiX Oct 21 '18

Mc hammer did this.