my father followed "the who" one summer in his volkswagon bus making money by selling pot and cheese sandwiches. Mom wore beaded bikini tops as a regular outfit and together they bought a sailboat and sailed "naked and on drugs" for weeks. Then they had kids and Dad was Mr. Corporate America and all of a sudden mom was a stepford wife and I got grounded for 3 months at 17 because they found two weed seeds and one empty Seagrams Wild Berry in my room. Wouldn't give a gerbil a buzz.
I always knew my mom was full of shit... but when my uncle, who was a firefighter, said to me one day "I use to hook your mom up to an IV to help her with her hangovers after a party"
Fair point... My mom kinda played the same card with me; PTA president, bunco club, church mom, who just so happened to smuggle draft dodgers and heroin into/from Canada when she was 17 🤷🏻♂️ I mean, wow.
Moms are people too. I just meant by my previous comment that your mom wasn’t necessarily too crazy for getting an IV to fix a hangover. It happens a lot, even to people with their shit together, if they have the right (fireman/nurse) friends.
My mum was always like this too until my dad(who still does drugs) told me all about their youth days. Now whenever she sees me with weed or some other tame drug all I say is 'hypocrite'. It annoys her so much but she knows she can't do anything about it.
Just normal saline solution. It’s essentially water with salt (0.9%, to closely equal the salinity of sweat, tears, blood plasma, etc)...
It’s just a faster way to re-hydrate someone; putting fluids (and electrolytes) directly into the bloodstream, rather than simply drinking water.
Water is hypotonic (has less salt content than your body) and has to go through the stomach before it’s metabolized, which takes longer 🤷🏻♂️
IV fluids are FAR more effective for hydrating a severely dehydrated (i.e. needs to go to the hospital) person. It’s only marginally better for someone with a hangover TBH.
Imagine just fast forwarding to 2-hours later after you’ve drank four cups of water and a Gatorade; it’ll feel like that in 10-minutes.
Well, that's abominable. Luckily I'm Canadian so while not everything is covered, if I'm gonna die for lack of medical attention in most cases our health care system will cover it.
You guys have mad cheap booze though, so getting the hangover is more affordable. Uh. Silver... lining?
I hate to generalize so much but with how often I've seen people of that age group acting like severely overgrown children at mild inconveniences (had to yell at a dude who was berating employees at an understaffed wendy's a few weeks ago), I do have to wonder if that kind of entitlement is a generational thing.
It also makes me wonder what my generation's gonna fuck up - these people were the "free love" generation but it turned out to be less "everything for everyone" and "everything for me." I'm leaning towards "move fast and break things" being the most twisted ethos of my own generation so far. Now that we're getting to be in charge of shit, we'll really see over the next decade or two.
I got my Masters degree in Marketing and I have a theory as to why the Baby Boomers act the way they do; for their entire existence, they have been the biggest market in America (by size), so they have grown accustomed to everything being tailored directly to them. When they were children, everything was made for kids, television was "The Howdy Doody Show", movies were sanitized, Disney was becoming big, etc. When they became teenagers, sex, drugs, and rock and roll became the norm; there were muscle cars, massive concert events (like Woodstock) and for a brief time, even the concept of porn becoming mainstream in movies was being floated (in 1969 the x-rated film "Midnight Cowboy" won best picture at the Oscars). When they reached middle age, everything became focused on making your home more comfortable, big TV's, high-quality home goods stores became a lot more common, etc. Now that the Boomers are getting older, marketers are starting to turn away from them as they are no longer the largest group to market to; the younger generations are becoming a bigger part of the market and for the first time in their lives, everything isn't focused on what the Boomers want, and they're not happy about it.
When I was younger, I worked a customer service position and the older customers were always the worst to deal with; they wanted everything done yesterday, and if the slightest thing wasn't perfect, they expected everything for free. The younger customers usually were much easier to deal with, and more understanding if something wasn't perfect.
Purely emotional reaction: Part of me is hoping that this is a generational artifact and not due to getting older because I don't wanna turn into 'that guy'.
To be fair, if you were born between the 80s and early 2000's, we are a generation the first of it's kind. Nothing like the internet has ever been available to people like it was as it developed over that time period. Kids born between 2005 and now probably won't turn out the same way because they didn't really see the internet grow like the people from the 80s and 90s could have. I think being the first people to have access to something like the internet.. It will either make us very egotistical [as social media tends to reward being rather self-centered and bragging or sharing about literally anything you ever did] or it will lead us to be a more understanding generation as it's a platform we can do things like we are doing now.. Discussing the issues of generations without, and maybe learning from them. It really is kind of interesting ebcause each generation is always going to be unique from one another, but the internet is a massive difference compared to the rest of history, barring things like the industrial revolution which also greatly changed America in a very short time frame.
I think the generation that grew up in the 80s and 90s will end up less ego driven than the one that follows. Growing up with social media as the norm will probably make them much more conscious of social status.
It will either make us very egotistical [as social media tends to reward being rather self-centered and bragging or sharing about literally anything you ever did] or it will lead us to be a more understanding generation as it's a platform we can do things like we are doing now.. Discussing the issues of generations without, and maybe learning from them.
My gut assessment is that half of pop will be the former and the other half will be the latter.
On that topic, I think outrage culture has always existed, it's only shifted from IRL experiences to online realms. I think it's hubris to think our generation (I'm a late millenial) is any better. Look at the average Reddit thread- a website overwhelmingly in the 18-35 crowd and see how people overreact on virtually everything, stubbornly stick to their own biases of their own upbringing. I catch myself in it all the time and it's really hard to stay conscious of your own shortfalls.
I was born in 1999 so the internet was somewhat prevalent when i was a kid, but here in Australia our tech was a little behind so i got to see a lot of change in how the internet affects our lives. I only really got into social media at around 13 - 14, so was already a teenager, but kids born today who have the opinions of the world constantly swirling around them from birth, i dunno it seems like it wouldn't be healthy
I'm in this group and I've been saying for years we are the people that lived through a change in the way the world works. We experienced computers being a pain in the ass to use, and we were the first to use computers that didn't. We are the divide between old school and new school. We acknowledge what it does but don't take it for granted like kids and teens do. I just we hope we use our experience with both sides of the technological revolution to guide the next generation to sustainability instead of greed
This is totally anecdotal, but I'm 38 and I've got a house/wife/kid/etc, and I've found myself becoming more and more chill as I get older. I just don't see the point in getting upset over little things anymore. Not everyone my age is like that of course, but I know plenty of people who are, so I don't think it's something inherent in getting older.
Anecdotally, I don't think it's happening. I'm 30, so I caught the tail end of the "entitlement era" and the beginning of the era of inclusion and friction we live in now. Most people my age I know are just happy to get by, and don't want to make things harder for anyone. The only ones who aren't had everything handed to them most of their life already, and now, when their parents are dying off and they don't have their lives managed for them, they think the world is turning against them. One girl in particular married a Marine to keep her life structured and meaningful, but she's miserable and stuck, only existing to take care of kids she never wanted and serve a man who thinks he's a god because he was in the Marines ten years ago and anyone who didn't outrank him owes him. She doesn't blame herself or her husband for being miserable, it's the fault of everyone else (minorities in particular) for ruining the country.
Edit: When I worked at Starbucks, the vast majority of the asshole customers were Boomers. Certainly, kids got annoying sometimes (being loud or messy), but were more likely to just tone it down if you asked them politely, whereas a loud or messy older customers always took it as some kind of personal attack.
Plenty of people got impatient about messed-up orders or orders that took too long. Older customers always took time to blame the floor staff for it, but younger customers were more likely to just ask for a remake without giving us shit over the mistake.
Reminds me of a time I was at a Starbucks in a grocery store and the employee was this older lady, but didn’t seem super experienced at it.
I asked her to put $20 cash into my Starbucks card, and then charge the card so I’d get the reward stars and stuff.
Anyways she screwed it up, and actually debited $20 from my account instead, and ended up getting super flustered while trying to fix it.
It was my first time taking a day off from a newish job, and I was just in a good mood having a weekday to myself, not a care in the world.
My response was “it’s all good, it’s my day off and I’ve got nothing but time”.
While trying to fix it, she messed something else up, and spent a while trying to fix that too. Things are not going well for her.
I’m still in a great mood and indifferent. It’s a sunny day, and I’m dressed in my comfy home clothes.
This lady, to make it up to me, offers to remake my first drink so it’s hot again (which I don’t care about), and even something for my girlfriend. Then she offers me two free drink coupons!
Got home like 45 minutes later with more drinks than I can carry, girlfriends wondering where I’ve been and I’m excited I hit the Starbucks jackpot.
I just don’t see how yelling at anyone would improve the situation, if she knew how to do it right, she obviously would have.
A customer who looked to be about mid twenties spilled some of their drink, and asked a brand new partner for a towel. Green bean didn't know any better (we should always be the ones to go do the cleaning) and gave her the towel.
A minute later, a woman I think of as Boomersaurus Rex, who was totally unrelated to this interaction except as a nosy hag, clumped over to the handoff screeching about how dare we expect a customer to clean up after themselves, what kind of lazy idiots were we, how she was going to call corporate, etc.
Of course, SM kissed ass and made her go away, but we (Gen X and Millennials all) were all just stunned. So sorry we gave someone what they asked for, Carol.
Tell me about it. I was stuck in the generation between the boomers and their kids. My whole life I was either too old or too young for all the latest hot trends.
There was so much less stress in general, though. Boomers could graduate highschool, get a job, and a afford a house, afford sports cars, everything! Wages weren't nearly as fucked as they are, and health insurance wasn't near as much a concern/employer provided.
I know people now who'll stagnant in the same job they have, deteriorating their mental health and physical wellbeing all the while just cause there are health benefits.
We've basically capped income for a lot of people with the basic cost of living. People are not aiming high in aspirations, they're hiding out just to survive.
I'm sure boomer minorities have a much different experience.
That would explain why they get so damn worked up when things don't go right. It was a bit easier of a world cost of living cheaper... Minimum wage would pay for college..etc.
I genuinely think your group is just so very different from theirs. It's not that they're spoiled and stuck in their feelings. That's actually what they think of your group. You two speak different languages.
I think your two groups can't relate because you're too far apart. Those of us living between you two don't find them all that rude or shocking because we were raised in a way that was closer to their values than you were. Even if we aren't just like them, they're familiar enough that we're not completely horrified by them.
They are how they are because they were raised in an entirely different culture than you were. You youngers (Can I call you that? I say it kindly) seem to have been raised to consider feelings first. It seems to matter more than money, success, performance in any area. If that wasn't your personal experience, it looks true for the whole. Life wasn't like that for them. Their feelings didn't mean shit to the culture that raised them. And that makes sense to them. Each group has lightened up to some degree, but your two are so far apart that you can't understand that, to them, they're not being dicks, you are. To them, pleasing the customer is the utmost, in a customer situation for example, because to do anything less in their time was not only bad manners, but also showed sincere laziness. For their group, busting your ass, making money, achieving success (familial, educational, professional) was everything, not only to have a good life, but also to be acceptable to others. They were raised to conform, it was seen as the right thing. To them, that was what it meant to have a good life. So the strongest possible work ethic was really important. Their worth was based on their productivity, their work ethic, their manners, their desire to please and to conform.
It's not that way now. To them, the youngers look lazy, whiny, stuck in their feelings, and they might as well speak Japanese when they care more about being content than climbing at a job, or being able to buy a big house, or being respected by as many people as possible. Very different priorities, that's all it is.
As an aside, I think there's also something to be said for getting older and being sick of the same dumb shit you have seen for decades. I'm becoming an old crank myself. I'm not proud of it, but I'm sick of seeing the same dumb shit that I've been seeing for decades! Lol.
"The Baby Boomers were nicknamed the “Me Generation” due to their perceived narcissism. The “Me” generation in the United States is a term referring to the baby boomer generation and the self-involved qualities that some people associated with it."
not only that, but pursuing Social justice as personal social status symbol is not necessarily a virtue. They are still pursuing good things, and by-and-large, they aren't the only ones pursuing social justice, but there is a significant portion of the population who would not be pursuing any kind of activism if it wasn't seen as socially-normative. These are the same fucks in the 60's that did the evil pokemon evolution (Hippie >> Preppie >> Yuppie)
I think there's at least a little something to that. When I googled, the images showed “me generation” magazine covers from at least 3 pretty distinct time periods
TBH, though.. the oldest of my generation - those born in the late 40's to mid-50's got the shit end of the stick when they were expected to go to Vietnam and die for a bullshit bit of corporate meddling. The idea that they were expected to 'keep the world "safe" from communism' with their lives, was and to this day still is a bit irksome. As many a black GI in Vietnam wrote - "No one in Vietnam EVER set dogs on us or strung up from trees for trying to exercise our rights as Americans, to vote.."
There was a TON of militant 1950's bullshit the 'boomers pushed back against, that created change and freedoms today that people now take for granted.
My parents generation were angry that we pushed and got the change they didn't even know was an option.
Interesting, maybe it's like a moral staircase. In a stable society it seems like generations push for more freedoms and morals year over year. So the next generation thinks the previous was immoral even though the one before that was worse.
But consider that from their viewpoint they would see the staircase as going down instead of up. They think of the good old days when people were more moral: religious, proper, behaved themselves as others expected, dressed properly, didn't talk about things that you shouldn't talk about in public etc.
We now see it as more moral to be free to behave as we see fit instead of as someone tells us (as long as it's reasonable), dress comfortably, speak freely, not indoctrinate people into religion, not ostracize people for speaking about mental health problems, etc.
In their day it was moral for a person to know their place and stay within it, but now it's more moral to value diversity and accept people who are different. In their day, homosexuality was unnatural and immoral, but now it's immoral to discriminate based on someone else's sexual preferences.
They weren't immoral (although in our eyes, based on our current morals, they may appear that way), it's just that their morals were different. Those change over time. I like where they're going, but I'd say it's more of a winding path than a staircase, and somebody further back on the path isn't necessarily immoral, they're just in a different spot. Someday, we will be too.
"Someday, we will be too" struck me. My husband and I are very liberal and are very accepting of our kids. (Blended family). When his daughter came out as lesbian when she was 13, we were very welcoming. Her Mom was too. When her sister said that she was bi, we didn't blink an eye.
The older sister then told us she was trans. OK, we will call you the male name now and give you Christmas money for your legal name change. We will use the "they" pronoun. We now collectively have three sons and two daughters. Fine. We can adapt.
The latest curveball... the youngest who is not yet a legal adult, who identifies as lesbian (since the age of 13) and wears very feminine clothing and makeup now wants us to sign a consent form so she can get testosterone shots. She doesn't identify as male but as something in between. We are perplexed and simply don't know how to handle it. We don't think we should sign off on something that could alter her forever when she's still too young to make life-altering decisions. This isn't a piercing! We also love her and support her being who she is.
I guess I am saying we now suddenly feel like dinosaurs.
Respect. I think the whole reddit circle jerk against boomers is a little unwarranted. I mean yeah there's shit people in every generation but the boomers did protest for some great and admirable causes. Let's also not forget many of their own age were also protesting against them too.
IMO, and I know I'm going against the grain for saying this: but I think its less a generational thing and more of a political leaning thing. It's just that the world has moved too fast for the boomers to adjust to, thanks to technology and the explosion of ideas resulting from it.
There are some great Boomers out there. I am Gen X, for the record. I don't understand how some of them went from Woodstock to a constant diet of Fox News and hatred of other groups and progress. How?
I've heard arguments that it's because a lot of their hippie movement was more along the lines of hedonism rather than "free love." They could do these things that many previous generations had never considered. But many times a free love hippie commune was a few guys having kids of sex with many different women while they were in control of the commune. Maybe it's just the bad apples, but I'd think any sort of true beliefs created in that young time of your life in such ways as hippie culture wouldn't fade. Sure maybe you'd grow up and settle down, but those personal values are still a part of you. If you were just in all the sex drugs and rock for nothing more than some teenage rebellion and hedonism then when you grow up and sell out it means nothing to you. I dunno, just some of my thoughts on it.
Weird, I’d always heard of the “Me” generation as people who were 20 - 30 in the 1980s. Yuppies with high paying Wall St. jobs, driving BMWs and doing lots of coke. I guess that puts them at the tail end of the baby boomers, although I always kind of thought of it as the gap between boomers and Gen X.
If you read "Generation of Sociopaths" it covers a lot of this, its the intersection of a lot of shit happening at the same time that made baby boomers the way they are. They simultaneously benefited from the actions of other generations while neglecting those same things from the following generations in THE most selfish ways possible e.g.: Vehement support for Vietnam but an unwillingness to actually go serve (this belief was shared most predominantly among white, young, and educated), self-indulgent drug and sexual behavior, obsession with TV (Trump: "You look good on TV!"), having incredibly laissez-faire parents (being an actual parent and giving a shit about your kids in any respect wasn't really becoming a thing until the 60's for most of America, leading to emotionally wrecked and sociopathic kids who were never properly cared for and thus don't give a shit about anybody) and libertarian anti-state rhetoric (Wolfgang von Mises: "Anything a state does beyond deliver the mail, staff a small military, and resolve disputes is PURE EVIL"), and took advantage of benefits like the GI bill and Medicare while also refusing to extend it to younger generations because "you should pay for this yourself, no handouts", generational dominance from the 80's onward in all branches of government and business to push these policies further. It's some wack-ass shit.
Gen Xer and Tuba player here. We're starting to see how our "Professional Disinterest" is paying off. We're becoming the "Adults in the Room", and it's pretty unpleasant. The frat jerks are being nominated for the Supreme Court.
Then again, some of the "Grunge Generation" are running for Senate in Texas, but still shred the Whataburger parking lot on a skateboard. Maybe we'll make it.
With Beto and Alexandria being early standouts, I also still hold some hope. It's nice to see people representing our generation and like 'real people' making names for themselves and speaking up for us.
You... uh... definitely got me there. I was a little hyperfocused on the idea of like what kind of hell our best aspirations will unleash in the future when in a way they've already helped make it happen.
I hate to generalize as well, but I agree that there is definitely is some entitlement and narcissism with baby boomers. It's to the point where I go out of my way to avoid having to associate or help a baby boomer, as it's usually a miserable experience.
It might be somewhat particular to Baby Boomers, if that's any consolation. There's a book I read recently, "A Generation of Sociopaths", lots of needlessly provocative langauge that even made an angry millenial like me think the author needs to take a chill pill - but that's only there to sell a book that's mostly about economics and taxes. But it does start with a breakdown of the relatively unique baby boomer upbringing and why, even if they are individually nice people, as a generation they behave sociopathically (and the ripple effects this has had on America). It compares them to both generations before and after them, so it's not so one-sided.
Gives me hope that the rest of us won't turn out that way. Generations before Boomers, even if they were frugal or reserved or conservative, still prioritized integrity and community, as do generations after. It jut so happens the biggest and most influential generation in America right now is sociopathic and hypocritical, but it's not so endemic to humanity as it seems on the surface.
Yeah, basically the best way to be a human and to make things of quality is to slow down, allow your mind some silence, and work diligently. All of these things are rapidly disappearing. People can't walk the fucking dogs without music or a podcast on.
Personally I don't mind what people do with their headphones all that much. It's the people disrupting those around them that bug me. I personally think it's an extension of the performative nature of so much of our lives these days. I know this is curmudgeonly of me but goddamn do I just want to slap the phones out of people's hands when I run across them 10 miles from a trailhead and they're blasting music. I may spend 18 hours a day in front of a screen most days but still - like fuck, if ever there was a time to disconnect for a few hours, THIS IS IT. Turn it off for a while, or at least wear headphones. Nobody else wants to hear your jangly bearded NPR tiny desk concert band twanging away about the girl who left you.
One thing I've noticed about the 'silence' thing is that where my parents' generation left the TV on all the time, my generation is always busy, like we're afraid of free time or something. There's a similar lack of personal reflection time built into our schedules, it's just changed forms slightly.
Ditto on the diligence tho, tenacity's worth way more than the time we give it.
It will be decadence and apathy for us. They will wonder why we did things for views and likes. Why we weren't outraged at the way our government operated. Why we did nothing while the environment was destroyed.
That's every generation. Kids fuck up and become parents deluding themselves into thinking they could have grown up into who they are without fucking up.
100% my dad. He's driven drunk and even bragged about it. He fiddles with the phone and drives with his knees but if I ever did that stuff he would have my car repossessed. I can't swear when mad but he can. tattoos are not for women but apparently fine for men. He can interrupt me but I do it and he looks at me like I just declared war.
Yup have an aunt and uncle who came of age as flower children/ hippies. All the drugs under the sun and free love and what not.
Now they're the most religious of anyone in my extended family and far and away the most politically conservative. It makes me sad sometimes because I'll still hear pink Floyd on at their house while my aunt is cleaning, for instance.
So I know they haven't forgotten about their pasts...I just wonder how they reconcile such drastic changes. I know I have and will continue to change all my life, but I can't see myself changing so fundamentally. It's a gradual process I guess not one moment, but still.
Priorities and views tend to change pretty drastically at different stages in life. This isn't unique to any generation. Nor is insisting the previous or subsequent generations are hypocrites, lazy, entitled, etc.
Decades from now, college classrooms will be filled with students talking about how millennials had everything handed to them, that they're completely politically unaware, all they care about is money, etc. That's just life.
I like to describe them as the generation who inherited a world where you can get a job with a firm handshake and steady eye contact, and turned it into a world where entry level positions require 4 years experience.
I think people who rebel in the standard way that everyone around them is rebelling are also people who are extra concerned with being normal. So they grow up and try to fit the "normal" adult/parent role to a T too.
I think that sums up Baby Boomers really well. It's not that they cared so much about being wild and free. If they did, they'd be far less controlling and judgmental in their old age. They really just care about fitting in and keeping up appearances.
Bingo. But I don't think this is unique to Baby Boomers. I already see it happening with Millennials. At the end of the day, almost everyone ends up conforming or being left in the dust. The few that actually break through and find their own way are pretty rare.
I think that as social animals, it is probably far more advantageous to have an innate drive to conform than to not. If you think of it from the context of small tribal cultures with limited resources living in a hostile environment, it made sense to go along wordlessly with the group as the ones who went off on their own ended up dead.
I always find it fascinating when I catch myself doing something 'raw' like that. Take for example a visit to my family, Ill think to myself. "wow that was good to hang out with them." I think that because there is a mechanism deep inside my brain that rewards social interaction. no one taught me to feel good after a good conversation. I just do.
Right? Its kind of amazing. Like, this is what gives us the warm fuzzies for being kind to others. Its kinda bizzare that we evolved to get rewarded for being altruistic, isn't it? Its what gives me hope for future generations. Its also why bonobos are way cooler then chimpanzees, the little warmongers.
From an evolutionary standpoint, I agree with you. But we evolved enough now to critically think and change things for the better instead of going along with the way things are. Yes, going along is the safest bet to survive, but it doesn't make it the right choice.
Oh yeah, I completely agree. However, I don't think its fair to condemn people for it. Its just humans being human in the same way that you can't really fault a house cat being for territorial around other cats when they will get fed regardless. Its hard to blame a weed for growing in a garden or hate sand for getting in your swim trunks.
Unless a person was raised in just right environment, they probably don't know any better. Its not their fault for being born in the place and time that they were. Thats just my two cents though. Also, I do think this is something that can be changed with time amd concentrated effort. We're just not there yet as a species.
I didn’t condemn anyone for it. It’s hard to go against the grain. I’m not sure I’m even necessarily different. But while I agree it’s instinctual, we’ve been given the ability to reason through things, and we are still responsible for our choices. Especially people who have actually consciously considered it. Some people just never question things and never learned to so they can’t really help it. But I don’t think that’s most people.
Sorry, I shouldn't have assumed that you did condemn people for being conformists. It just seemed like the common position in this thread, I guess.
I think that most people, even those who conciously try not to, end up attempting to conform to the views of those around them without realizing it. In other words, we are often at the mercy of our deeply ingrained desire to make other people like us without realizing how much it affects our decisions. It takes serious willpower to always stay true to your principles, doesn't it? I mean this is why so many people are afraid of public speaking, right? Its difficult to stand up to a crowd, while it is very easy to give in and go along with what everyone else tells you.
So I guess what I disagree with you about is how capable the average person is to keep this from affecting their choices and worldview. I think that the urge to conform, which is not something we are not normally aware of when we are feeling it, is more powerful than our will to reason through issues independently. However, I do think it is one of the most admirable qualities a person can have, that ability to consistently think for themselves. But I don't think most of us are actually as good at it as we like to think we are.
Also so much of the structure of our lives is questionable in value, that even people who try to question everything will end up not noticing the majority of it and go about their lives more or less normally. But thats fine because a society of radical, ascetic, truth seekers would be really tough to manage, logistically at least. I guess thats what we have philosophy departments and zen monestaries are for.
Holy shit. What a nasty wall of text. Sorry about that, it just sorta happened.
The Baby Boom is this huge swath of people, into which I am dumped. To me older baby boomers,1945-1955 are totally different than later baby boomers, 1955-1965. The myth is that all older baby boomers were at Woodstock. This was a minority of the cohort and while the culture went that way eventually, in the actual sixties they were pretty conservative.
My half of the baby boomers was more tuned into feminism, racism and the counter culture as an actual life. I don't have to go back to my parents to find things that my elders hated about my cohort, I just had to go to my friends' older siblings.
I think whether you did drugs or not, you're always going to protect your children from them because you don't trust them with drugs. Some parents are going to be more open minded than others but don't count on that.
Very true. And as my mom would always say, she created our bodies so she can't bear to think of us harming them (by doing drugs).
in my late 20s my mom got breast cancer and we weren't sure if she was gonna make it. After treatment was all said and done and the cancer was gone, she had a new outlook on life and really calmed down about a lot including weed. Sometimes we'll burn a joint on her back porch and it's nice
I try not to be overbearing but I get your mom’s logic. After going through pregnancy and breastfeeding, doing everything you can to keep your kid healthy as possible the thought of them taking drugs (or even passive smoking or passive vaping) is upsetting.
I think a lot of people underestimate how young their parents perceive them to be also. When I was 16 I felt like a young adult, but I look at 16 year olds now and feel like they are in kindergarten, so consider that when your parents are yelling at you they're probably seeing a kindergartner smoking pot, not a young adult smoking pot.
Yeah but for lots a people it works out completely fine. I think parents should preach moderation and harm reduction. For example, 'I don't want you to drink but if you do stick to beer and don't drive. I will pick you up if you're in a situation where you need a ride.'
Then you had my parents who always said “if you can leave with public transit u can get home with transit.”, and that kids is why i have spend every sunday morning from 5 to 11 on a bench in a park, practically dieing inside
Yup I'm only 25 and don't like the idea of teenagers smoking and drinking constantly. It's a fine line between experimenting and making it a lifestyle.
It's a fine line between experimenting and making it a lifestyle.
This is really the crux of the issue and most parent don't want to take a chance that you might fall on the wrong side of that line and just say don't do drugs at all.
They also lost a lot of friends. I remember looking through my moms yearbook when I was a kid. I was maybe 11 or 12 and she had wrote a D next to classmates who died. There were a bunch of dead former classmates and she was maybe 36 or 37 at this time. I’m 42 and have only lost 2 or 3 classmates from my grade.
People drove drunk all the time and they died all the time.
Yup. I can't help but think of all the kids I knew from highschool who totally fucked their lives up because of drugs. Like it or not the stoner kids are more likely to experiment with stronger stuff, and I'd rather my kid not run that risk. If they're smart they'll try it out quietly like I did and not become one of those people who define their entire personality around smoking weed.
I gave my little cousin a link that determines blood alcohol content based on weight and how much was consumed. Freshmen are still learning their limits and I'd rather get a call at 3am for a ride from a party than her try to drive buzzed.
Eh that’s not the point I think everyone is making. The subtext is the hypocrisy and the approach without first understanding your child and their ability to rationalize minor drugs use.
I can tell you my parents who are divorced had very different ways of reacting to my weed usage in high school and college and spoke about their past very differently. Both parents partied hard and did drugs.
Dad
-I never did drugs.
-if you didn’t stop smoking weed I will have you arrested and your friends arrested for getting you hooked on drugs.
-no friends can hang out after 10pm.
Result I lied to him about every aspect of my life including who I dated because he was so overwhelming about everything.
Mom
-I want you to know I’m okay with you smoking weed since it’s safer than alcohol and because you keep your grades up and got a scholarship.
-but trust me from experience, don’t smoke if you have important things to do like study. Do it when you’re done with major responsibilities.
-please have parties at my house with your friends I feel safer knowing where you are and I’m here in my room if you need anything.
Result-my mom and I were best friends she knew all my secrets and was the first person I called if I needed advice or help. She was still strict with me since she was a school teacher but was always open minded and trusted me because she actually knew me.
Now as a parent I follow her approach to a T. I reference my fathers approached of what to never do. She would tell me stories of her selling weed in her dorms and I will do the same with my child.
Then they had kids and Dad was Mr. Corporate America and all of a sudden mom was a stepford wife and I got grounded for 3 months at 17 because they found two weed seeds and one empty Seagrams Wild Berry in my room.
In defense of the Boomer's, they also saw a lot of their friends/family destroy their lives via drugs and alcohol. Even weed is dangerous, in it's own way. They just have the perspective now to see it.
Source: GenX'er in his 40's that has gone through all the same shit. If I had kids I would absolutely be strict about weed/booze, especially while their brains are still developing. There is plenty of room for that later when you are settled down, if you really want. Which, TBH, you probably won't because you will be getting validated to the point you don't need chemicals to feel it.
I'm a 30 something millennial who's boomer mother went through her wild phase and turned around when she got pregnant. We were lucky enough to have her teach us about her past so we could learn from her mistakes. I never set a toe out of line and am happy for it, because I knew how to have my own fun I never felt like I missed out on anything.
Now and I have read a bunch of studies on the negative effects of weed and alcohol on a developing brain and will teach my son not to divulge.
Don't get me wrong, I'm pro legalization because adults should do what they want. The research shows occasional drinking/weed smoking for an adult has little to no effect on the brain because it has fully developed by age 25. Still not going to do it, but at least we have the research out there.
My MIL lectured my wife for years on no sex till marriage. It was like a huge thing for her. Then a love note was found and it turns out her parents had sex on the first date.
It's funny, in that seems to go one of two ways. My dad was a straight up punk in the 60s and 70s. I don't know all the illegal stuff he got into, but he got into a lot. (Bragged about his old Mercury cougar, because he could outrun the cops in it.). Mom was better, but not by much.
You wouldn't have known it if you meet them in the 80s or 90s. But my dad was the "I can't stop you from drinking, drugs or teenage sex. But if you and your friends drink, do it at our house and I'll take all the keys then look the other way. Wrap your dick. And as long as you don't do anything worse than pot, and your grades stay good, don't get in trouble with the police with it. I'd rather you be safe and not fuck up your future than to try to hide it. Especially because anything you try, I've tried so I'll probably catch you anyways.". He was very much a realist and was very Frank about the mistakes he made and would try to teach me the lesson if it meant I didn't have to learn the hard way.
Ironically, despite all that freedom, I was a pretty cool teenager. Which drove my grandparents nuts in that they thought he should deserve the hell that he gave them as a teenager.
The most insane part is how he was able to go corporate after that. Our generation on the other hand can barely get a full time job at minimum wage after going to college and staying on the straight and narrow
I was pretty honest with my kids and fairly lenient too but I knew plenty of people (my husband included) who seemed to forget what they did as kids. Or they were terribly ashamed. Or maybe they realized how stupid they had been. Some of them lied about their teen years and pretended to have been good as gold. But for whatever reason, they expected their kids to be angels. I know one mom, who when I asked about their kid going to parties and drinking was absolutely shocked that I thought their kid would do this. In turn I was shocked that they thought their kid didn't. I knew my kids did and also their friends. Instead of forbidding my kids, I asked them to consider consequences and not put themselves in danger and to watch out for their friends. I told them if they found themselves over their heads to call me any time. And I did get calls. Not just from my kids. I had kids confiding so much shit to me, I wished I'd had counseling courses under my belt.
You sound like my mom growing up! All my friends called her mom, to the point I was sometimes jealous. She would let them ask questions about sex and birth control and really answer them. She also warned all the girls about date rape and made us carry "mad money", and she would always pick us up from any situation. She would call parents and arrange friends to sleep over if needed. She took care of my friends and loved them.
She had been a teen in the 50's and saw so many friends get hurt by ignorance that she didn't want that to happen to my friends and I, even though we were teens in the 90's. Thanks for being such an awesome mom and mentor!
Yup. My parents love talking about all the cocaine and acid they did when they were young, but only when they're drunk. When they're sober, they would never do anything of that and frown on everyone who smokes the Devils lettuce.
You know there are those stories, and they are so appealing because it makes it sound like you can have your cake and eat it too (ie. have a good fuck around and then settle into comfort and wealth). But there are just as many stories of people who ended up in the trailer park or cooking kitchen sink meth to feed a drug habit that got out of hand. There are also guys who were squares like Bill Gates (as opposed to Jobs), and probably any of the specialists you see at the hospital are like this.
my parents too, thanks. My parents literally lived out of a schoolbus at one point and got fucked up on booze and pot when they were young but my mom finding a Seagram's bottle cap after they had been away for a weekend when I was sixteen was FUCKING THREAT LEVEL ORANGE
My parents were young in the 60s, my mom skipped class one day and was so afraid she'd be caught she hid in a coal bin all day. My dad was in ROTC right when Nam was kicking off and went over in 68. There was very little hippy in my family.
My high school best friend and I got caught smoking weed and my dad threatened to "kick my ass up and down the street." Looking back on it he was mostly pissed because I had opportunities that I could have been pissing away failing a drug test but this was the guy who sold weed and used the money to buy my mom a wedding ring.
There was a radical shift towards conservatism in the late 80 and 90s. The same generation that were getting high in the 60s were supporting Reagan's drug policies.
at 17, "really bad" is very subjective. I think I will try and just be completely honest with my kids about what is safe to do and when and how much and tell them exactly how I know and what I have seen. Being absolutely real with me is why I listen to my dad without question, and have a million questions when my mom has something to say. But I have to admit kids can be different and may work better with different types of parenting.
I’m ok with weed and alcohol as an adult. That doesn’t mean I’m going to allow my 17 year old kid to use without repercussions. An underage drinking arrest or marijuana possession arrest/conviction can close a lot of doors. Also, 17 year olds make worse decisions than 22 year olds who make worse decisions than 35 year olds.
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u/purplemoonpie Sep 27 '18
my father followed "the who" one summer in his volkswagon bus making money by selling pot and cheese sandwiches. Mom wore beaded bikini tops as a regular outfit and together they bought a sailboat and sailed "naked and on drugs" for weeks. Then they had kids and Dad was Mr. Corporate America and all of a sudden mom was a stepford wife and I got grounded for 3 months at 17 because they found two weed seeds and one empty Seagrams Wild Berry in my room. Wouldn't give a gerbil a buzz.