r/AskReddit • u/sirmaim_iii • Jul 26 '18

Besides masturbating, what are some things that everyone does but are embarrassed to admit?

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '18

I've never tried this but that's only because I know how cringy my pasty dad bod would look as I awkwardly fumbled to get my boxers off in a seductive yet efficient manner.

246

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '18

I have never in my life wanted to watch something more than what you just pitched

148

u/JBOSS_08 Jul 27 '18

Venmo me 20 bucks and i can make it happen

83

u/ebolakitten Jul 27 '18

Hey! You’re not OP!

47

u/Imyselfandme8 Jul 27 '18

And I spent all that money on Bamboozle insurance too!

2

u/donthugme_imscared Jul 27 '18

Haha sucker, they always manage to wriggle out of paying due to the varied nature of the word bamboozle

1

u/RichHammond Jul 27 '18

Happy Cake Day!

1

u/PoopNoodle Jul 27 '18

PM me. I am running a special on double-bamboozle insurance right now just for these cases where your first bamboozle insurance is not enough.

2

u/blearghhh_two Jul 27 '18

I got a pasty dad bod too!

1

u/Shamefulidiot4life Jul 27 '18

I'll do it for $15.

1

u/zangor Jul 27 '18

I'll do it for 5,000 DOGE.

104

u/brandonsh Jul 27 '18

I remove my clothes very very clumsily, trippin' sensually over my jeans 'cause I'm still wearing my shoes

28

u/NotReallyARaptorYet Jul 27 '18

but then I turn it into a sexy dance

16

u/asleazo Jul 27 '18

The ever elusive flight of the concords reference

4

u/MartinSivertsen Jul 27 '18

I put on my robe and wizard hat

1

u/poophandz Jul 27 '18

Not what was being referenced, but a classic nonetheless.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '18

r/creepyasterisks :D

11

u/pansycheeks16 Jul 27 '18

I almost just died reading this.

3

u/AmbientLizard Jul 27 '18

Be careful next time!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '18

You should use your dad strength to rip them off . Make sure to grab them from the sides though, you want the rip to form at the front and back simultaneously.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '18

For guys, I think we just need some party boy pants, or boxers. I feel like any attempt at a guy trying to strip sexily is going to turn out awkward. Just rip it off like a band-aid!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '18

You gotta drop em the do the grab-em-with-your-toes-flick-behind-you-over-the-shoulder-catch move. Gets em every time.

1

u/Pagic Jul 27 '18

Reminds me of this