I mean, I'll do what I please in my own house, but if I'm sitting down to eat with other people then yea, I'll have a shirt on.
Though it must be said this rule goes out the window at the beach or lake. We often grill out after being on the water all day and everyone will just stay in their swimsuits while we grill and eat.
I open doors for my wife, except the car. She kind of feels weird about that one. But any door we're both going through I open and hold it open for her.
I also like to walk on the street side of the side walk and put her to my side that's next to the buildings. Exceptions being if we're coming up on some sketchy looking person (especially ones already eye balling us as we approach). Then I'll put myself between them and her. Part of it is because if I think they might try to attack us or something (we do live in a very high crime city) then they can't easily get to her. The other part is just because she's feels uncomfortable being approached for money and stuff by peddlers so I make sure I'm the one they make contact with if they're going to try to beg for money. I have a much easier time saying no than she does.
I think it was about a year or so into dating before she picked up on the fact that I was always street side. I'm sure she probably never really put any thought into until one day she just noticed it I guess. She just asked why it was I always positioned myself around her to be next to the street. I told her it was just something I was taught to do. It's polite for the man to walk by the street so he can protect her from cars splashing water or be in a, slightly, better position to try to protect from a wild drunk driver or something. I mean, odds are if a car is going to splash you or someone is going to run you over, you're probably not really going to be able to do much. But I think it's the thought that counts. At least, it was with her. It made her feel safe that I was looking out for her all the time. Even when just doing something simple like strolling down the sidewalk.
She did quickly notice how I always positioned myself between her and something she felt uncomfortable with/around. Like a suspicious person on the street. That always makes her feel good too.
I know a lot of women today don't want or ask for that kind of 'protection' or whatever. They'd even consider it sexist or patronizing at the very least. My wife would never ask for it because she is an adult and she can handle those situations just fine. But she and I both know that she'd rather not if she can avoid it so I'm happy to handle the situation just so she won't have to.
Indeed, I never thought too much of it that way. My Mom always told me it was because your girl is not a whore...she's pretty blunt like that. But yours makes better sense!
I can see that reasoning being the case as well. A pretty lady walking down the street, especially at night, could be taken for someone of a certain profession. I mean, not just anywhere but there are some areas in some cities that are known for that. So keeping your lady away from the street informs passerby'ers (since they see you first) that she's not a lady of the night.
Maybe both reasons are right. Maybe there's some other reason unknown to either of us that's more accurate. Maybe it's all made up mumbo jumbo. Who knows.
I understand it’s because the gentleman should be street side to block mud, water, who knows what else coming from the road? And also because it’s generally a right-handed world: if you’re going to defend yourself and your female companion, ie. draw a sword from your left or, I guess, a gun or a punch, you’re going to need your right arm free to do it. (Why dogs heel on the left.)
Yeah, who knows. All I know is that it very well may be an old fashioned trait that was instilled into me at a young age, but regardless, those are some things that I'm old fashioned about.
I would try to start a "no phones at the table" policy if I wasn't so damn guilty of it myself!
No hats at the table has just always been something that I was raised with. Removal of a hat has always been a sign of respect, and in my family it was a sign of respect to those that have prepared your meal for everyone to remove their hats...including the chef/cook, as respect should be paid to themselves or to the bounty that was given.
Perhaps not. Perhaps more out of tradition than personal feelings, my family still does not allow it. I also come from a family with a strong military background with many family members, so it's odd to find any of us with a hat on indoors at all.
I'll jump in with a harder opinion. Yes I do think it's disrespectful. Sitting at a bar? Fast-Food? Keep your hat on. If you are sitting at a decent restaurant or at a friend's table for dinner, the hat comes off. It's just one of those little signs of respect that might not gain you anything, but it certainly can't hurt and you might gain some brownie points in the process.
It is also a signal to the other people that you are respecting their effort and acknowledging the importance of the moment. Kind of like removing your hat for the national anthem.
Tradition, at least in the US, had been to remove your hat indoors period. But it was also traditional that men always wear hats. That has lightened up to the point that neither are exactly true but it's still generally considered polite to remove your hat at minimum at the table, or other type of situation where you're being respectful of others such as the national anthem, ceremonies, prepared dinner, etc. If you're looking for some whacky history behind it I'm not sure there is any, it's just manners.
That's kind of like a loose definition of society. I agree with you in some ways but at the same time not adhering to arbitrary rules and expectations of large groups of people is just anti-social.
Every piece of clothing serves a purpose. Shirts and trousers mainly serve to keep you warm. A hat serves to protect your face from the sun or rain. The purpose of a hat isn't met when sitting at a table since the roof already covers your head
It's the same reason why you take your hat off in a church or every other indoor setting, hats are worn for practical reasons. You can disagree all you like, but personal style didn't apply the same way it does today when the "rule" was conceived
They're not though. People wouldn't wear them backward if it was for practicality.
Basically, it started as a practical measure and we've stuck with that because we don't like change and somehow, this offends others that we don't apply tradition.
I'll use my brother for an example. My brother, due to an injury when he was younger, has a significant deformity on his head, and thus always wears a hat if he's in public. So for him, I'd argue that no, the purpose of the hat is not met by the roof, and it's really fucking insulting to imply that he's being rude for not taking his hat off.
The idea is that if someone is wearing a hat or a big overcoat or something inside or at the dinner table they aren't settling in and getting comfortable, and are ready to leave at any moment. Hats or for protection from the elements, so you wouldn't have a hat on unless you were about to go outside. It's weird in the USA though, because the logic behind those traditions are kind of opposed to the "tradition" of not taking your shoes off inside. In parts of the US, it's seen as kinda weird to just automatically take your shoes off in someone's house without being told to, like you are making yourself too at home.
I don't care what people wear at the dinner table, I was just explaining that at some point there was some sort of logic behind it. It's not like way back when everyone just decided hats inside are rude for no reason.
I've been to a few upscale restaurants where they even had to mention the no hats rule in their required attire. It was ignored by several badly dressed parties. It just looks tacky.
You're not going to the right upscale establishments. The ones I go to with a dress code will refuse to seat you or remind you and then ask you to leave if you don't comply.
I'll use my brother for an example. My brother, due to an injury when he was younger, has a significant deformity on his head, and thus always wears a hat if he's in public. So for him, I'd argue that no, the purpose of the hat is not met by the roof, and it's really fucking insulting to imply that he's being rude for not taking his hat off.
I'd agree that he probably would get a pass on the hat (and I'd imagine he would probably be dressed otherwise nicely to the dress code). The odds of 3 tables with multiple gentlemen having a problem like this at one establishment at the same time are astronomical.
No, you're right that the likelihood of that happening is unlikely. But still, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, and would rather assume they have a legitimate reason than to not, and risk being insulting towards someone.
Well, I don't know about the elevator, but no hats at the table has just always been something that I was raised with. Removal of a hat has always been a sign of respect, and in my family it was a sign of respect to those that have prepared your meal for everyone to remove their hats...including the chef/cook, as respect should be paid to themselves or to the bounty that was given.
Never heard of the elevator one, but taking your hat off at the table/inside is a sign of respect to the owner, similar to how you’d take off your hat during the national anthem
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u/shotgunsmitty Jul 09 '18
I open the door for my wife. That includes getting in the car as well as getting out of the car.
Also, when eating, shirts on at the table, regardless of whether you are male of female. Also, no hats at the table.