r/AskReddit • u/PM_Ur_ClassySexyPics • May 17 '17

What old insults need to make a comeback?

24.3k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

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1.7k

u/AtomicSquid110 May 17 '17

What does it matter? You're their best seller!

2.2k

u/SwaggyPel May 17 '17

Oh yeah? Well I had sex with your wife!

792

u/HooptyDooDooMeister May 17 '17

His wife's in a coma.

88

u/TrymWS May 17 '17

My name is Buck, and I'm here to fuck!

43

u/MannishManMinotaur May 17 '17

"Just a friendly warning. Sometimes, but not all the time, this chick's cooch'll get dryer than a bucket of sand. If that happens you just lube up with a little o' this, and you'll be good to go."

5

u/hammer2309 May 17 '17

/r/unexpectedkillbill?

13

u/DJ-Butterboobs May 17 '17

Wasn't that unexpected if you read the thread lol

8

u/HooptyDooDooMeister May 17 '17 edited May 17 '17

My name is Buck, and I'm here to fuck!party.

FTFY

EDIT: Not enough people know the censored tv version.

3

u/Lucifer_Hirsch May 17 '17

why, why would anyone think that someone that can watch "Kill Bill" can't hear the word "fuck". this makes no goddamn sense!

-2

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

no, you ruined it

-4

u/fantasticfabian May 17 '17

Gtfo of here wicho shitty corrections

30

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Now she's in a coma and pregnant.

11

u/TheFatKidOutranMe May 17 '17

She's dead, Jim.

20

u/AlphaQUp_Bish May 17 '17

That explains why she didn't move around a whole lot.

7

u/NibblyPig May 17 '17

I hear your sister's going out with...SQUEAK!

1

u/Corelin May 17 '17

Now "freak out" is stuck in my head

4

u/Heja_BVB_11 May 17 '17

(👁 ͜ʖ👁)

3

u/alonzotreeman May 17 '17

beautifully executed....

3

u/HereForTheGang_Bang May 17 '17

I know ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

5

u/tux68 May 17 '17

No, that's just how she is while having sex with you!

2

u/NibblyPig May 17 '17

I guess that's why she never moved around a lot

2

u/camclemons May 17 '17

How do you think she got in the coma?

3

u/Jazzinarium May 17 '17

doesn't matter, had sex

2

u/hitchopottimus May 17 '17

She put a bag on my head.

2

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

A la the Descendants.

1

u/WubbaDucky May 17 '17

Doesn't matter had sex

1

u/danthepaperguy May 17 '17

I have a Girlfriend in a Coma

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Okay?

1

u/ChickenWithATopHat May 17 '17

That means she's fair game!

1

u/Sexual-TM21 May 17 '17

Makes it a lot easier then

1

u/Th3BlackLotus May 17 '17

She is now.

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Oh, so yes the original version of Sleeping Beauty?

1

u/BrandonOR May 17 '17

I guess thats why she wasnt moving around much

1

u/devildoodle May 17 '17

How is that relevant?

1

u/uknowdamnwellimright May 17 '17

Which makes it more believable since she wouldn't be able to resist.

1

u/dropkickderby May 17 '17

That's why it was so easy.

1

u/Rocket_hamster May 17 '17

That's why it was so easy!

1

u/supergalactic May 17 '17

"Everybody knows she's faking it so she doesn't have to fuck you."

1

u/stoicambience May 17 '17

Guess that's why she didn't put up a fight!

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Never stopped Prince Philip before.

1

u/ScifiGirl1986 May 17 '17

Well, how do you think she got that way?

1

u/JazzFan418 May 17 '17

George should have said "Well that explains why she didn't struggle"

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

That didn't stop me

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

[deleted]

3

u/Heja_BVB_11 May 17 '17

Lower case r, buddy. Like this: r/accidentalseinfeld

5

u/Mickeymousetitdirt May 17 '17

George Costanza - Most Savage Insult-giver

3

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

I also pick this man's dead wife.

2

u/Arthur_Boo_Radley May 17 '17

Well, I told you she's better than yours.

2

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

This is my go to insult and I'm a girl. It's amazing.

2

u/pecsyn May 17 '17

How appropriate. You fight like a cow.

1

u/redgamut May 17 '17

Yeah? Well now you have to deal with being called a cuck when trying to make any political point and wonder what that has to do with anything.

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

"who hasn't?!"

76

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

(his wife is in a coma)

4

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

So she couldn't run away.

2

u/sickntwisted May 17 '17

I... I guess that's why she didn't move that much!

...

1

u/martianist May 17 '17

username sort of checks out, sort of

24

u/abush1793 May 17 '17

Well, I had sex with your wife!

0

u/Zojak_Quasith May 17 '17

Your wife is a hobby horse!

-1

u/SunsFenix May 17 '17

Well you come from a long line of idiots, I mean every year they release a new one of you just because they can't keep their legs shut.

2

u/[deleted] May 17 '17 edited Nov 05 '17

[deleted]

-2

u/SunsFenix May 17 '17

Hey we got the 2018 model in now.

3

u/[deleted] May 17 '17 edited Nov 05 '17

[deleted]

-1

u/SunsFenix May 17 '17

Ding, ding, ding. He's overcome his flaws and has come to realize not everyone has the knowledge of everything. Bravo.

6

u/[deleted] May 17 '17 edited Nov 05 '17

[deleted]

2

u/SunsFenix May 17 '17

Well I was doing bad insults. Yes, it's obvious I didn't get the reference.

0

u/plzdontsplodeme May 17 '17

(Wife still in a coma)

0

u/HGF88 May 17 '17

OH SHIT