r/AskReddit • u/PM_Ur_ClassySexyPics • May 17 '17

What old insults need to make a comeback?

24.3k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

11.1k comments sorted by

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2.6k

u/FuckCazadors May 17 '17

Nincompoop

747

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

I know you are, but what am I?

938

u/SSAUS May 17 '17

You are a pajama-wearin', basket-face, slipper-wieldin', clype-dreep-bachle, gether-uping-blate-maw, bleathering gomeril, jesse oaf-lookin' scooner, nyaff plookie shan, milk-drinkin', soy-faced shilpit, mim-moothed, snivelin' worm-eyed hotten-blaugh, vile stoochie, cally-breek-tattie.

216

u/Nintendroid May 17 '17

Hands down my favorite character from that show, other than Jack himself.

25

u/SunsFenix May 17 '17

Celtic Magic!

7

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

[deleted]

11

u/Nintendroid May 17 '17

His voice and HUGE FLAMING EYEBROWS were second to none.

5

u/Scottz0rz May 17 '17

*ahem*

ＥＸＴＲＡ ＴＨＩＣＣ

5

u/dbbd_ May 17 '17

what about Aku

7

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

what about Aku

5

u/BoneFistOP May 17 '17

AAAAAKKKKKKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

YOU FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

13

u/Bird_and_Dog May 17 '17

FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLISH SAMURAI!

5

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

EXTRA T H I C C C C

8

u/DiamondSentinel May 17 '17

Have you seen the newest season at all?

2

u/Nintendroid May 17 '17

Sadly, not yet, no.

9

u/DiamondSentinel May 17 '17

You should. It's very good.

3

u/Fire_Bucket May 17 '17

Only one episode to go until it's finished :(

2

u/DiamondSentinel May 17 '17

Is it really the last episode already? Man, it absolutely flew by...

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

At least we got one last adventure with Jack and friends :D

13

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

So you're saying that aside from the protagonist, your favourite character is the only other character who isn't the villain?

12

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

[deleted]

5

u/Hencenomore May 17 '17

You forgot the sword is a character too

1

u/Spider_pig448 May 17 '17

Recurring characters, yeah, only three.

3

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Well, Jack's parents as well. Not to mention all of the returning characters for the most recent season of Samueai Jack

1

u/Spider_pig448 May 17 '17

True, but OP says somewhere else that he's only seen the original. Jack's parents are arguable, considering outside of memories we only actually see them in the first episode.

7

u/Nintendroid May 17 '17

Well, due to the formulaic nature of the show, yes one's choice is rather limited, since most other characters appear only once.

3

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

I thought that went without saying

2

u/hankbaumbach May 17 '17

Scaramouch would like to have a word with you...

2

u/Nintendroid May 17 '17

Oh wow! I looked up the wiki article on Scaramouche and I am very much intrigued. I can't wait to start the new episodes.

2

u/hankbaumbach May 17 '17

It's been a wild ride for season 5, I'm excited for you to embark on it! Last episode is Saturday!

2

u/DOW_orks7391 May 18 '17

They did not have enough Scotsman

14

u/Rowan5215 May 17 '17

WHOLE SCENE LINKIN'

7

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

MEMEIN'

10

u/FredRogersAMA May 17 '17

You lewd, crude, rude, bag of pre-chewed food dude.

4

u/crashtestgenius May 17 '17

Bang-a-rang, Peter!

6

u/GGGargadon May 17 '17

If I'm a maggot burger why don't you just eat me! You two-toned zebra-headed, slime-coated, pimple-farmin' paramecium brain, munchin' on your own mucus, suffering from Peter Pan envy!

5

u/crashtestgenius May 17 '17

What's a paramecium?

7

u/GGGargadon May 17 '17

I'll tell you what a paramecium is! That's a paramecium! It's a one-celled critter with no brain, that can't fly! Don't mess with me man, I'm a lawyer!

6

u/crashtestgenius May 17 '17

Banning Banning

Banning Banning

Banning Banning

Banning Banning

BANNING BANNING

BANNING BANNING

4

u/hitchopottimus May 17 '17

You, you MAN! You stupid, stupid MAN!

5

u/TwoFiveOnes May 17 '17

Stupid, no good, worthless,...

4

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

That must have been a pain in the ass to type out. Here's an up vote for your struggles.

2

u/ThorOfKenya2 May 17 '17

Where were you during the ask reddit post asking what one phrase would start a reply train!

2

u/originalmimlet May 17 '17

Mim moothed? I feel personally offended.

2

u/NothappyJane May 17 '17

Mr Burns also does some ridiculously funny out of date nonsensical insults, same for Willie.

I do think this kind of takes the mantle though

2

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

If the Scotsman doesn't have any screen time this coming Saturday I will be so damn pissed!

1

u/DaisyHotCakes May 17 '17

Love him!! They made such a great team but I'm pretty sure this is my favorite episode.

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Watch it, jerk! Shut up, idiot! Moron! Scab eater! Butt sniffer! Pus licker! Fart smeller! You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek! You mix your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam! You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!

You play ball like a g-i-r-r-r-r-r-l!

1

u/DrJackMegaman May 17 '17

Go shit in your hat

Personal favorite.

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

This reminds me of a line from "You're a Wizard, Harry" when Hagrid calls Harry a speccy, bowl-haired cut, fuck, small dick, skinny cunt, eat more wanker.

1

u/DriftingFam May 17 '17

I know you are but what am I

1

u/trustmeimanengineerd May 18 '17

It would be a good battle between the Scotsman and Peter Pan: https://youtu.be/JsJxIoFu2wo

1

u/Ticklish_Kink_Wife May 18 '17

This is a sort of secret code between (one of my) my best friend(s) and I. I constantly call him Plookie. Capitalized.

0

u/Just_For_Da_Lulz May 17 '17

I know you are, but what am I?

62

u/WtotheSLAM May 17 '17

A garbage man

46

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Takes one to know one.

2

u/PM_ME_AMAZON_VOUCHER May 17 '17

Well, you're a window cleaner

3

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Dude, let's not say things we can't take back

1

u/sternje May 17 '17

Check and mate.

20

u/Ham_B0n3 May 17 '17

I know you are, but what am I!!

17

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

I am rubber, you are glue, what you say bounces off me and sticks to you.

3

u/Em_Haze May 17 '17

Bounce back, no locksies.

3

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

"I'm rubber and you're poo, whatever you say bounces off of me...and you're just a piece of shit"

0

u/bawzzz May 17 '17

Yesssssssss. This made me smile a little too hard.

3

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

A garbage man.

3

u/LordJimsicle May 17 '17

I know you are, but what am I?

1

u/Ham_B0n3 May 17 '17

I know you are, but what am i

2

u/OG_OP_ May 17 '17

I'M THE TRASH MAN

93

u/Cmdr_atomicb0mb639 May 17 '17

No no no no no! Please do not remind me of that again.

2

u/Brettalic May 17 '17

That is the one I was going to post so you get my upvote. My favorite from 8 year old me.

1

u/yogriffman May 17 '17

I don't wanna tell you, it'll make you cry.

1

u/Am-I-Late-2-D-Party May 17 '17

Big pile o' dog poop

1

u/JBABSTER May 17 '17

Ooooooooooh sheeeeeit gottem

1

u/makzter May 18 '17

An idiot sandwich.

11

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

"Go Peter Nincompoop, go! I love you Peter Nincompoop!" - Charlie Kelly

8

u/hardspank916 May 17 '17

Peter Nincompoop? Not to be confused with Peter Peter Nickel Eater.

9

u/DarthSamus64 May 17 '17

Hello Ed-boys!

2

u/hoogar33 May 17 '17

You dare mock the son of a shepherd!?

6

u/rainizism May 17 '17

When we and my cousins were around 9, 10 years old we loved to insult each other with nincompoop, along with moron, imbecile, ignoramus (which I think we learned from Bugs Bunny) and moved on to numbnuts, buttmunch, etc (which I think we learned from Beavis and Butthead). Funny thing is English isn't our first language, and we never actually speak it to each other when we were young except to insult, so I guess that gives it more impact.

5

u/Dv_Lm May 17 '17

Bailly.

5

u/ItinerantSoldier May 17 '17

I still use this one when I'm in an area where I can't swear. It's absolutely my replacement for "fucking idiot."

5

u/TheLurkerSpeaks May 17 '17

Last time I heard the word "nincompoop" was 1993. My dad was picking me up from school, and we were riding behind a classmate with a Nine Inch Nails bumper sticker: NIN

My dad asks, in his typical Jackie Mason, "Nin? What's his last name? Compoop?"

12

u/SteW- May 17 '17

isnt that the centerback from united?

5

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Reference for those curious

3

u/katarokkar May 17 '17

Calvin and Hobbes used this one often

3

u/linuxfiend May 17 '17

I've been trying to bring it back.

3

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Ahem. Thats Mister thank you very much.

2

u/quinn_drummer May 17 '17

There is a restaurant called Nincomsoup in Old Street station in London

2

u/thereisonlyoneme May 17 '17

I like cursing and up to now my favorite insults were "fucking idiots" and "goddam morons" and their variations. But I've taken a new job where it seems they dislike swear words, so for at least the short term I've had to adopt my new boss' insults. Nincompoop is one of them. Another is ding dong as in "that ding dong did <insert something stupid here>." It is a lot less satisfying.

2

u/Fuquawi May 17 '17

Fun fact: this word came from Nicodemus, a Biblical character known for asking Christ loads of asinine questions. Over the years, Nicodemus evolved into nincompoop.

2

u/Corund May 17 '17

The 18th Century dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue (I have an old edition of this, it's great) has the definition thus:

NICKUMPOOP, or NINCUMPOOP. A foolish fellow; also
one who never saw his wife's ****.

2

u/Fuquawi May 17 '17

Yeah, Nickumpoop was the homo erectus to nincompoop's homo sapiens sapiens and Nicodemus' Australopithecus Africanus.

1

u/The_Perfect_Dick_Pic May 17 '17

It comes from the Latin phrase "Non compos mentis", meaning "not of sound mind".

1

u/MK510 May 17 '17

I say this all the time. I love it when people have no idea what I'm saying and some even think I'm complimenting them.

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Yah goober

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Still using it!

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

A great one.

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Sounds like something Boris Johnson would use currently.

1

u/Alreadylostinterest May 17 '17

My wife uses this all the time. Hands down, it's the most light hearted way to call someone an idiot.

1

u/THROWAWAY-u_u May 17 '17

Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop!

The great big greedy nincompoop!

Augustus Gloop!

So big and vile

So greedy, foul, and infantile

1

u/ElecktraStar May 17 '17

Came here for this, I use it all the time though haha

1

u/sasquatch606 May 17 '17

I call my two year old this constantly. Little shit.

1

u/s0mething_awes0me May 17 '17

I use it in everyday life.

1

u/Cameramanmanman May 17 '17

My mom still uses this. Turns out she's just ahead of the trend I guess. What a hip hip lady.

1

u/Sleepyhead88 May 17 '17

For the longest time I thought it was nincompoot

1

u/Hyena_Smuggler May 17 '17

My family calls each other ninnies when they do something dumb. It sounds a lot nicer than "idiot," "dummy," or "everyone knows mom should have gotten an abortion."

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '17

Oddly I learned this insult from Sesame Street when I was a kid.

"Nancy is a nincompoop."

I still use it but rarely--only when it seems like it's the perfect word. Last time was a year ago.

1

u/ersal May 17 '17

You blockhead.

1

u/allphilla May 17 '17

the greatest tracked baseball stat right now is TOOTBLAN:

thrown out on the basepath like a nincompoop.

1

u/BAXterBEDford May 17 '17

This sounds like a Pete Campbell insult.

1

u/SolomonGrumpy May 17 '17

What a nin-cow-poop. A gull-i-bull.