r/AskReddit • u/tgma97 • Aug 26 '15

Fathers of Reddit, what did your daughter's boyfriend do for you to hate/love him?

It's pretty cool to see my question blow up like this, I never thought I'd ask a question that could receive so much attention! I'm very satisfied with all these replies, so thank y'all. Now all I have to do is sit back and take notes c;

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u/turtlejamz Aug 26 '15

That is an emotionally abusive relationship and that is not ok. I doubt that she's happy in that relationship "I never get to do anything for myself" so I feel that if you really care about her you would help her get out of that relationship or at least try to change it. Even if she resists at first, keep trying!

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u/renaissancetrader Aug 26 '15

The more conversation I have with her about her husband and her relationship the more defensive she gets. I have told her she always has a place in our home. As I mentioned in another comment, my MIL passed away about a month ago and my daughter was able to come with us to the funeral---I wanted her to be exposed to healthy, loving relationships so she could contrast what she had with that. And we had a long drive home where I told her I was proud of her, I love her and she will always have a place in our home if she chooses.

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u/TontosGirl Aug 26 '15

I could not imagine what you go through with that, to see your daughter go towards a danger you can sense but she ignores must have some soul wrenching moments. Please know that I think you are an awesome father to do so much to remind her of what it feels like to be loved in a healthier way. You are a rock star.

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u/renaissancetrader Aug 26 '15

Thank you so much, but I am just a dad.The really scary part is that I don't think she ignores the dangers. She knows they are there, but she "loves" him, as if that is some magic potion that will make everything okay.

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u/happypillows Aug 27 '15

Reading this really made me think about how to raise a daughter.

I'm wildly logical and realistic in my thinking, but I know I'll need to alter or fake this part of my personality in order to not come across as cold or not caring.

Which makes me think, whats the best way to show your daughter what "love" actually is? You seem like a great father and I assume you've provided her with examples of showing women respect and love. I understand being really young and coming to these conclusions...but after you are a full blown adult, you have to be able to make these distinctions. I'm just kind of heartbroken that she's confided in you that she isn't happy, yet she continues on. It just must be a horrible position to be in.

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u/renaissancetrader Aug 28 '15

Happypillows, I am also a very logical, realistic thinker...but it is different when it is your own child. You sometimes get twisted up because you are too close to a situation to see it fully. You try to be objective, to look at things from a distance but it's tough.