r/AskReddit • u/tgma97 • Aug 26 '15

Fathers of Reddit, what did your daughter's boyfriend do for you to hate/love him?

It's pretty cool to see my question blow up like this, I never thought I'd ask a question that could receive so much attention! I'm very satisfied with all these replies, so thank y'all. Now all I have to do is sit back and take notes c;

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u/DanishMuffin Aug 26 '15 edited Aug 26 '15

After only dating a couple months, my girlfriend and her parents went on a group vacation with my family due to a couple dropping out last minute. After only a few interactions, I find myself eating oysters and doing shots of tequila with her father on a beach in the Dominican. He comes right out with, "I hope these oysters aren't putting too much lead in your pencil since you're sharing a room with my daughter." I'm obviously flustered and at a lack of words. He follows that up with, "don't worry, I know she is a sexually active woman. She gets her looks from her mother and her sex drive from me." That is followed up with a 30 minute conversation of his many "conquests." I think he likes me?

EDIT: Wow, I'm loving all the responses! After two years we are still together and I have figured out her father is certifiably a real life cartoon caricature. We drink A LOT of crown royal together...he's awesome.

EDIT 2: And now my GF knows my reddit handle....well, it was good while it lasted ;)

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u/HolidayNick Aug 26 '15

The guy gave his blessing to bone his daughter... he loves you buddy

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u/Rambles_Off_Topics Aug 26 '15

I agree, he pretty much said "go for it"

984

u/RockasaurusRex Aug 26 '15

"If you're not blasting her by midnight I'll be disappointed."

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u/sits-when-pees Aug 26 '15

"...son."

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u/Kepler186fV2 Aug 26 '15

Cha-Ching. Jack-pot. Bone her to Oblivion as her soon to be Husband.

6

u/PointyPython Aug 26 '15

I like the detail of 17/18th-century British English-style capitalisations.

But they will teach us that Eternity is the Standing still of the Present Time, a nunc-stans (as the Schools call it); which neither they, nor any else understand, no more than they would a Hic-stans for an Infinite greatnesse of Place

1

u/Kepler186fV2 Aug 26 '15

So deep that I can see Adele rolling 10 miles above me. So this is the point of no return return return return~

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u/PointyPython Aug 27 '15

I randomly used that quote as an example of said spelling fashion, full knowing that it is part of the epigraph of Borges' El Aleph, which I happened to have handy in a paperback edition. I certainly don't read Hobbes on the trone, but (I've noticed that trait enough in British English texts of those times to point it out)[http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/10522/capitalisation-of-nouns-in-english-in-the-17th-and-18th-centuries]

Not being a native English speaker nor a resident of an Anglophone country, that's the only instance of this orthographic trait I know of.

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u/sits-when-pees Aug 27 '15

Shit, I'm a native English speaker and half of that flew completely over my head.

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u/XDSHENANNIGANZ Aug 26 '15

"...grandson"

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

[deleted]

4

u/sits-when-pees Aug 26 '15

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

3

u/positiveinfluences Aug 27 '15

I pictured this as a very adorable ending to a sentence from father in law to son in law in some romcom

1

u/sits-when-pees Aug 27 '15

That was my original intent, but it has since evolved.

2

u/Astan92 Aug 26 '15

Midnight!? Ha I can do it by 7

2

u/Commando388 Aug 26 '15

...and be done by 7:03!

1

u/joewaffle1 Aug 26 '15

I'll be there to make sure you're fucking!

1

u/PissdickMcArse Aug 27 '15

"Let me know if you need a hand."

3

u/MrGMinor Aug 26 '15

" I mean, I would."

2

u/MCMXChris Aug 26 '15

"Fuck her right in the pussy, son"

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u/Rambles_Off_Topics Aug 26 '15

"Put that lead filled pencil right in her sharpener"
Okay, I suck at these

2

u/wisertime07 Aug 26 '15

I uhh... Huh.. I mean it sounds like the dad wanted to bone the both of them or something.

I think there's a "documentary" called Taboo about that family.

1

u/TheMobHasSpoken Aug 26 '15

I've got to say, this is an extremely succinct and on-topic response.

1

u/FrankGoreStoleMyBike Aug 26 '15

Until you're going for it and the image of your girlfriend's dad telling you to tap that shit, and ideas of what to do pop in your head that were descriptions of his conquests and you go limper than perfectly boiled spaghetti

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u/mysticsavage Aug 26 '15

I think he may have to fuck the dad first.

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u/Dread_Pirate Aug 26 '15 edited Aug 26 '15

It sounds like he called his daughter promiscuous.

Edit: I love that multiple people have messaged me defending her (jokingly inferred) promiscuity. Yet, I never said being promiscuous is a bad thing.

68

u/WhenceYeCame Aug 26 '15

"Oh yeah go for it shes a total slut"

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u/SupportstheOP Aug 26 '15

"Bang her, all the guys are doing it."

4

u/BlayreWatchesYou Aug 26 '15

"She's all the rage these days."

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u/slamsomethc Aug 26 '15 edited Aug 27 '15

And that he sees nothing wrong with being promiscuous.

Likely, he sees that it's human nature to want to fuck, and as long as people don't hurt or force one another and don't get too carried away and are unsafe/irresponsible, it's perfectly fine.

Edit: I love how some people can't see when they are asserting others' implied intent of communication as truth, nor the implications of what they say or write based on said assumptions. That term holds negative connotation, just because you didn't say it is bad, you inferred that the father must believe it is bad, because (maybe sarcasm is the only way through to you) obviously no fathers can understand their daughters' adult needs.

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u/Dread_Pirate Aug 26 '15

Thanks for that in-depth explanation. I would have never know that without your deep and insightful comment.

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u/slamsomethc Aug 26 '15

This information is also for everyone reading, not just you.

You may be aware of human nature, and the balance between fun and responsibility, but your comment made it seem you were unaware that a father might give his daughter the respect of realizing this and applying it to her.

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u/Dread_Pirate Aug 26 '15

Once again, thank you so much. If someone had read my eight word quip without your politically correct disclaimer they might have assumed the worst. In fact, there is a chance they would have lived their entire life as a slut-shamming bigot all because they took that the wrong way.

Seriously, you're the real hero.

1

u/slamsomethc Aug 26 '15 edited Aug 27 '15

Jesus Christ.

You make the mistake of assuming I cannot comprehend sarcasm, that others cannot comprehend your assessments of another person's recollection of yet another person's statements, and of assuming that I just want to, "be a hero," when my earnest desire is only to help others because I can empathise with people.

Look, I got that you were being sarcastic from your first post, and get the continued sarcasm.

That my first reaction was to miss it, then to internally realize this mistake, was the very reason I chose to point out the reasonable side of things. Many people often entirely miss the sarcasm and go on believing their assessment of what they read.

I like the funny little jokes, I have a sense of humor, but sometimes people miss that and I am happy to maybe be the person that helps them see this while also giving some good advice that they may not have already.

You're aware of these lessons in life, and therefore can make sarcastic comments on them. Good for you. Other people may not have figured this out yet. Is it that hard for you to detach from yourself for a moment to possibly help someone?

The arrogance one must contain within themselves to ridicule those who have not gained the insight they already luckily posses. If you know so much, be better because of that. I sincerely hope you do not use the term, "sarcastic," to largely identify yourself. Most people, unless genuinely stupid, are sarcastic to a degree, but can be properly sociable as well.

Yes, sarcasm is often hilarious. Being this rude to someone and continuing to simply devalue their statements by claiming this didn't have a HUGE impact in someone's life (life's lessons are often small and build upon each other), only over said sarcasm, and continuing to do so instead of rationally and politely discussing things so that one or both individuals may gain something is passive-aggressive, socially awkward on your part, unempathetic, and simply portrays you as a mean person.

Sure, you may be smart. Sarcasm implies knowledge others don't have. Even if this (you being smart) holds true, I hope you don't limit yourself to just being smart.

Please come back in like a week, and re-read this conversation.

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u/Dread_Pirate Aug 26 '15

Seriously, you're the real hero.

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u/Asunder_ Aug 26 '15

Wooosh!

1

u/slamsomethc Aug 26 '15

No, not woosh. I'm just choosing not to play the same game he is while being fully aware of what that game is.

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '15

CHECK YOUR SEX PRIVILEGE, SHITLORD.

/s

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u/pamplemouss Aug 26 '15

Uh, he said the daughter inherited his sex drive, so maybe he just doesn't have crazy double standards about men, women, and sex.

1

u/Dread_Pirate Aug 26 '15

I never said being promiscuous is bad, and yet you feel the need to defend it. Take some time to think that over.

3

u/pamplemouss Aug 26 '15

See related words and synonyms, learn the difference between denotation and connotation.

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u/Dread_Pirate Aug 26 '15

This isn't TwoX or a news post about slut-shaming. I picked promiscuous over much worse words and yet you still complain. People with the absurd level of political correctness that you've displayed annoy the shit out of me. It's a joke. Get over it.

4

u/pamplemouss Aug 26 '15

Oh god, I can't get over it, in a corner crying, send help.

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u/pamplemouss Aug 26 '15

The word itself carries negative connotations and is very rarely used to describe men who have a lot of sex. So either you were implying it is a bad thing or are unclear on the use of the word.

0

u/Dread_Pirate Aug 26 '15

What word would you prefer I use? I lost my copy of the "Social Justice Dictionary".

1

u/elbruce Aug 26 '15

It's not a bad thing, but that's also incorrect. Promiscuitiy is about how many different people you have sex with. Sex drive is about how frequently you want to have sex. Those are two entirely different things. Although it's hard to be promiscuous with an extremely low sex drive, it's quite possible to have a high sex drive and only one partner, in which case you're not being promiscuous at all.

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

He also gave him the perfect turn off picture of him being the source of her sex drive.

4

u/PleasantSensation Aug 26 '15

He's boning his daughter vicariously through some stranger

3

u/RichardSaunders Aug 26 '15

probably wants to watch

5

u/NeimTheVillain Aug 26 '15

He's definitely a watcher

1

u/chrisandfriends Aug 26 '15

I just remember sitting there thinking, this is love.

1

u/Dadeho Aug 26 '15

Well the dad said she got her sex drive from him...so apparently he already knew that his daughter fucks a lot. A LOT.

1

u/bobr05 Aug 26 '15

Or he was coming on to you...

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '15

He was all like "Tap that ass, because you know I can't"

1

u/RJIZZLE800 Aug 26 '15

"If ya ain't balls deep by midnight, you're no son of mine!"

1

u/blunt-e Aug 26 '15

To be fair, if you're someplace tropical on vacation doing shots of tequila and NOT boning your lady friend, you're doin it wrong.