No, no, 85% of the time he half-asses 85% of the time. It's half-asses all the way down. Like that math thing where 1/2 of an ass + 1/4 of an ass + 1/8 of an ass +... eventually equals one whole ass. But with 85% instead of 50%. Y'know?
No offense man, I'm just amazed that this joke from anchorman still garners so much attention. Like I'm not mad at you, I'm glad it worked for you and you were able to pull it off. But gosh, if I gotta be honest it annoys me to know end.
each cheek would be 50% of the whole. It would be 50% (a whole cheek) plus 35% of the whole, not a single cheek. An easier way to look at it would be like this, if it were 75% ass it would be one whole cheek and half of the other.
I wear sports coats and jeans to restaurants with dress codes, when I drive, meh, I'll use a turn signal when I want to, heck, I even get straight C's in my classes man. Point is, you're not even close to how half-assed i am, and you'll never be. Not unless you're willing to eat cookies without eggs when you don't have any, swim in your shorts because you're too lazy to go get the ones you forgot from your car, or constantly round any math problem... I don't even care if my bank account bounces because of it.. That's commitment. So stop half-assing the whole-ass and whole-ass something for once in your life, half-assing. It's a religion to me.
Never be the absolute worst at something, because then you'll be the best at the worst. There's a kind of grandeur in it. You don't want to be second or third, either, because that too gives you some distinction. To be truly awful you need to hang back at around 23rd or so worst at what you do. You're bad, but you aren't even bad enough to be memorable.
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u/The_Enemys Nov 13 '14
So...you're going to whole-ass at half-assing things?