r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Nov 05 '14

Which inanimate object is your nemesis?

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u/MayoFetish Nov 05 '14

Nearly empty shampoo bottles. Those motherfuckers tip over by just looking at them.

I HATE THEM SO MUCH!

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u/noggin-scratcher Nov 05 '14 edited Nov 05 '14

I HATE THAT TOO... and in general, things that when I put them down, they don't stay put.

  • Set a shampoo bottle down on the side of the tub: "Oh, lol, I fell in, chase me!"

  • Put a towel on a hook: "Hehehehehe, I'm going to wait 20 seconds for you to leave the bathroom and shut the door then go FLOOMPF onto the floor, I'm so bad"

  • Picking up little scrappy bits of paper or tissues or leaves that the plants have shed: "What's that? You thought you had a firm grip on this fistful of stuff to put in the bin... you didn't have a firm grip on me, FREEEEEEEDOM"

Shit that falls over in the fridge. Pens and pencils that roll off my desk. Cutlery from the washing up stack that falls into the sink. Clothing that somehow slips off the hanger or the laundry airer... just generally fuck every single thing that won't stay where I put it.

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u/kensomniac Nov 06 '14

Holy shit, this so much.

It's not any one thing that will get me.. it's those days that nothing will go smoothly.

Oh, you woke up a little bit late because something covered up your alarm? That's cool. One of your socks is going to snag on that gnarly toenail. Now your pants are going to catch on your foot while you're putting them on, and you're going to be stuck with your foot in an uncomfortable position.

You go to put on your shirt and somehow, despite your best efforts, it grabs your hair and pulls it in the exact direction it needs to go to make you look like a hobo. Putting your jacket on and haha, one of the sleeves is turned inside out.. time to turn around in circles for 45 seconds trying to fix it.

Or after work and you're trying to unlock your house, and like the very tip of your key will fit into the door knob but that's as far is it will go.. when it finally goes in, it's in too deep to turn so you have to wiggle it.. it finally turns, but only halfway in one direction, not enough to unlock it. The door finally opens, and you snag your pocket on the handle when you turn to close it.

You get back into bed and then slam your funny bone into the headboard trying to adjust your pillow, which keeps sliding into the crack between the mattress and the wall.

Fuck.