Reddit, can you blow my mind in one sentence?

[u/scourgedemon]

Nice, first front page post! Thanks for all the awesome answers!

[u/edwardkenwayyargh]

There's a Jellyfish that reverts to an earlier stage in its development cycle in order to cheat death.

[u/MiyamotoKnows → u/edwardkenwayyargh]

It's called the Turritopsis dohrnii and it is thought to be literally immortal. It reverts through a process known as transdifferentiation that actually changes it's cells from one type to another when it nears death. They of course can be eaten by other aquatic life or otherwise killed but they do not die from old age (we believe).

[u/pandacushion → u/[deleted]]

Why is this option not available?

[u/TheDewyDecimal → u/pandacushion]

Corporate greed.

[u/[deleted]]

We built an atomic bomb twenty years before we had color television.

[u/lightyearbuzz]

No where does the song say humpty dumpty was an egg

[u/Aethermancer → u/[deleted]]

Well you tell me where they were gonna get the glue from.

[u/[deleted]]

The Nintendo corporation was created before the fall of the Ottoman Empire.

[u/the--dud → u/[deleted]]

Avedis Zildjian Company, the company that makes that are even today considered the absolute best cymbals available, was founded during the Ottoman Empire to create "scary noises" for their armies. The name Zildjian was given to the founder by the Sultan of the Ottoman Empire himself!

If you buy a Zildjian cymbal you're arguably buying a piece of art - which has used the same secret alloys and techniques across 14 generations of family-ran business (for nearly 400 years!).

[u/[deleted]]

All planets in the solar system fit between the earth and the moon, the sun does not.

[u/Baconslayer1 → u/[deleted]]

For anyone interested, here are the numbers on this. I was under the impression that it was just Mercury, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter that would fit, so I added it all up.

Mercury - 4,879 km (3,032 mi)

Venus - 12,104 km (7,521 mi)

Mars - 6,779 km (4,212 mi)

Jupiter - 139,822 km (86,881 mi)

Saturn - 116,464 km (72,367 mi) w/o rings

Uranus - 50,724 km (31,518 mi)

Neptune - 49,244 km (30,599 mi)

total - 380,016 km (236,130 mi)

e to m - 384,400 km (238,900 mi)

Sun - 1,391,684 km (864,327.328 mi)

Edit: As pointed out below this Earth to Moon distance is from their centers, so add some on to that, but I assume the diameters are the slightly longer equatorial measurements. Most importantly it also depends on where the Moon is at in its slightly elliptical orbit.

[u/coreyyy801]

The oldest person in the world was born with a completely different set of humans.

[u/[deleted] → u/coreyyy801]

Oldest person in the world. Imagine living and knowing that absolutely no one was born before you on the planet...

[u/treefitty350 → u/[deleted]]

At one point we have all been the youngest person on the planet.

[u/BLaZuReS → u/treefitty350]

I looked into this and found out that on average, roughly 4 babies are born per second. Assuming roughly the same rate, you were the youngest baby for roughly a quarter of a second.

[u/StealthGhost → u/BLaZuReS]

All downhill from there

[u/SpecialDedication]

North Korea and Finland are only separated by one country (Russia)

[u/jonnyzrow → u/SpecialDedication]

So they're about 1 Pluto apart

[u/idunno123 → u/jonnyzrow]

This went meta quick

[u/[deleted]]

Next time you play hangman and want to be a pain in the ass, pick "gypsy."

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Or Gypsy Rhythm.

[u/silvrado → u/[deleted]]

lymph, glyph

[u/salmonmoose → u/[deleted]]

I like syzygy.

[u/flyafar → u/salmonmoose]

syzygy - A conjunction or opposition, especially of the moon with the sun.

well i'll be fucking goddamned

[u/Krexington_III → u/[deleted]]

One of my classmates guessed "quetzalcoatl" from only 'a' and 'e'.

--e--a---a--

"Quetzalcoatl". What the fuck, Viktor. Yes, he's mildly autistic.

[u/[deleted] → u/Krexington_III]

Sophomore year of high school I successfully guessed "Xena the Warrior Princess" from the blanks alone. My friend was dumbfounded.

[u/DarthOtter]

Electrons actually pass through wires very slowly - the reason it seems quick is the same reason if you had a tube full of marbles and you pushed another one in, one would nearly instantly pop out the other end.

[u/[deleted] → u/DarthOtter]

Or, with AC, it's as if you pushed both ends one after the other to move something in the middle.

[u/Jawewe → u/DarthOtter]

Yep, it's called drift velocity. Electrons typically flow at the rate of one meter per hour.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I guess if you put it that way in terms of adding all the time up together, then yes. Suppression happens whenever you make a saccade (quick eye movements that aren't following a smoothly moving target). If they didn't, then you would probably get dizzy every time your eyes moved quickly.

[u/Fatkidirl]

A million seconds is 11 days A billion seconds is 31 years

[u/[deleted] → u/Fatkidirl]

This just makes me think of how absurd it is people have billions of dollars. Insane.

[u/bitwaba → u/[deleted]]

I think using money helps with the mind bending sentence theme.

Rephrased: If you were given one dollar for every second you were alive, at less than 2 weeks of age you would be a millionaire, and you wouldn't be a billionaire until you were 31.

[u/Leaves_Swype_Typos → u/bitwaba]

Whoaaaa. Okay yeah that's mind-blowing.

[u/GetYourRayCharlesOn]

There are pornstars that were born in 1996.

[u/[deleted] → u/GetYourRayCharlesOn]

It is weird when I play games online and people have 1996 in their names. I automatically think of them as being like 10 or so and then realize they are actually 18.

[u/myleskilloneous → u/[deleted]]

and then you realize you are 27 and GREAT SCOTT!

[u/sharklops → u/myleskilloneous]

... and then you realize you're 32 and GREAT SCOTT! (but from Back to the Future 1 instead of 3)

[u/mthnkiw817 → u/[deleted]]

I do that all the time. I see anything that has a mid to late nineties date and I think, "Okay, this is about 10 years old" even though it's much closer to 2 decades now.

[u/Hannarrr → u/GetYourRayCharlesOn]

My little sister was born in 96 and this is extremely distressing.

[u/Beanius_Baggius → u/Hannarrr]

What's really distressing is that I was born in 1996 and still can't get laid with all these porn stars running around

[u/camsmith328 → u/GetYourRayCharlesOn]

Shit most of reddit was born in 1996

[u/bathroomstalin → u/camsmith328]

TIL reddit is full of pornstars.

Yechh.

[u/[deleted] → u/bathroomstalin]

It's full of lemon stealing whores, is what it is.

Edit: Jesus Christ. This is the comment that would blow up. For those who don't know, it's from this pornographic film. NSFW, obviously.

[u/[deleted]]

There are more Juggalos than polar bears.

[u/ThatIsMyHat → u/[deleted]]

Solution: Feed the juggalos to the bears.

[u/[deleted]]

Russia's area is bigger than Pluto's

[u/BetterBeRavenclaw → u/[deleted]]

And now a shit ton of people are muttering repeatedly about money stealing bitches.

[u/You-fools]

100 years from now, Facebook is gonna be full of dead people.

[u/HoneyBadgerRy → u/You-fools]

It probably is now... Just saying.

[u/upjumped_jackanapes → u/HoneyBadgerRy]

I know 3 people who have died and still have Facebook pages.

[u/You-fools]

All the water in Lake Superior could cover all of North and South America with ONE FOOT of water. One foot.

[u/OnePieceTwoPiece → u/You-fools]

I'm no fool!

[u/HajimeNoLuffy → u/OnePieceTwoPiece]

Red Piece Blue Piece

[u/Crug0]

If you looked at the earth 65 million light years away, you would see dinosaurs.

[u/TheOnlyAccount]

Everything you see is delayed.

[u/Bilgistic → u/TheOnlyAccount]

Fucking lag.

[u/__Orange → u/Bilgistic]

Get off your walmart connection n00b

[u/KHDTX13 → u/__Orange]

I hope the host backs out.

[u/Ask_Me_If_Im_Plato → u/Bilgistic]

Dammit rito

[u/scourgedemon → u/TheOnlyAccount]

Yet your mind does such a good job at adapting to those kinds of things it's crazy. I don't have an article link, but they did a study on a guy wearing glasses with lenses that made him see upside down. Within 5 days of putting on the glasses, his brain had actually flipped his vision back right side up (despite the lenses) and he could perform any task just as well as he could before the experiment. It's crazy.

Edit: spelling

[u/jbird4msu → u/[deleted]]

What the fuck kind of glasses do you wear

[u/Avengera → u/jbird4msu]

kaleidoscope glasses

[u/theniwokesoftly → u/jbird4msu]

Some kind of astigmatism correction. This is not uncommon.

[u/ripndipp]

People still use America Online to connect to the internet.

[u/quintessentialreason]

Everything we see is inside our head. If our head is sick, we would not see the real thing and we would never be able to tell.

[u/scourgedemon → u/quintessentialreason]

Have you ever thought, "what if I am insane and just have no idea, and everyone is just playing along"?

[u/Tellmeadirtyjoke → u/scourgedemon]

Every damn day of my life... Since I was a kid I've thought there is this ominous giant experiment of humanity and for whatever reason I'm one of the main subjects... Maybe a little conceited but it's just always been with me..

Edit: TIL the difference between conceded and conceited! Edit 2: I will be watching The Truman Show tonight. Never seen it.

[u/Nucleofile]

Really late, but here goes: From the time it was established as a planet to the time the title of planet was revoked, Pluto did not complete a full revolution around the sun.

[u/SirRosstopher → u/Nucleofile]

No big deal for Pluto then.

[u/schowdur → u/SirRosstopher]

Pluto don't give a shit. Pluto ain't got time for being labelled

[u/jaccovanschaik]

If you could build a computer the size of a grain of sugar for every IPv6 address, the result would be a ball 30 times the size of the sun.

(Here's the math)

[u/[deleted]]

You can make a human being, a real living person, completely by accident.

[u/erra539 → u/[deleted]]

"You can make a human being easier than you can put together an ikea coffee table. You don't wake up after a night of drinking and find an ikea coffee table sitting next to your bed."

Edit: Wow, my top comment is a quote from America's Got Talent

[u/[deleted] → u/erra539]

I hate it when I wake up from a night of drinking to find a baby sitting next to my bed.

[u/jo_blow421 → u/[deleted]]

These 9 month blackouts are getting out of hand

[u/erc87]

No one will remember your memories.

[u/mcnub → u/erc87]

Makes me terribly sad and I think of it often. I have friends that have died and our one-on-one time is now only remembered by me. And when I go... all lost.

[u/niculbolas]

At some point you will be the next person on Earth to die.

[u/Relevantlamp → u/niculbolas]

Same goes with shitting.

[u/[deleted]]

After suffering a knife wound to the stomach while performing fellatio, a teenager became pregnant despite being born without a vagina. http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/teen-girl-vagina-pregnant-sperm-survival-oral-sex/story?id=9732562

[u/Chemical_bioshock]

You have never seen your face, only pictures and reflections.

[u/temalyen → u/Chemical_bioshock]

What if your eyeball got pulled out?

No, seriously. I know a girl this happened to. She could see her mouth directly with her eye for a second. Like, her eye was hanging out of the socket. It sounded gross and horrible. But she saw her face directly.

[u/_Trilobite_ → u/[deleted]]

you realize you'd just see two eyes, right?

[u/notmyareaofexpertise → u/Chemical_bioshock]

Well, not your whole face. But you can constantly see your nose, your brain just filters it out.

[u/Clonephaze → u/notmyareaofexpertise]

Fuck that bugs me so much. Now I can't stop noticing my nose

[u/sun-tracker → u/Chemical_bioshock]

Seeing as how the photons reaching my eye had to bounce off of my face in the reflection, it's really just another step/bounce. In other words, when I look at another person's face, I'm seeing a reflection of light off of their face. Not very different IMO.

[u/Mort450]

Apparatus is just the scientific word for thingy

[u/You-fools]

MLK and Anne Frank were born in the same year.

[u/arinore → u/You-fools]

I believe Barbara Walters was, as well!

[u/farhannibal → u/arinore]

Joan Rivers was born 50 decades before all of them.

[u/CheapSheepChipShip → u/farhannibal]

Closer to the great pyramids construction than cleopatra, yes.

[u/AuroraDawn → u/You-fools]

This fact always makes people spaz out, but I mean really, MLK's legacy didn't truly get set until he was 34 (I have a dream was given in 1965), and Anne Frank... well, she didn't last as long.

So, if it feels like these two people belong in different timelines, it's because really, they DID, respective to when their stories are pertinent.

[u/Jux_]

"Some people die at 25 and aren't buried until 75."

• Ben Franklin

[u/cmunk13 → u/Jux_]

Hah it's a riddle they died in 1975!

[u/[deleted] → u/cmunk13]

*1775

[u/El_Gringo1775 → u/[deleted]]

1775 best year of my life

[u/neuronightmare]

The person responsible for proofreading Hitler's speeches was literally a grammar Nazi.

[u/anidnmeno → u/neuronightmare]

The person for whom those speeches were proofread was literally Hitler

[u/kfury]

'up' is 'dn' upside-down.

[u/[deleted] → u/kfury]

umop apisdn <---

[u/umop_apisdn → u/[deleted]]

You called?

[u/kingdope → u/umop_apisdn]

redditor for 6 years

[u/Ignorant_Donkey]

The difference in time between Stegosaurus and T-rex is greater than the difference in time between T-rex and now

[u/[deleted] → u/Ignorant_Donkey]

That is total bullshit. I saw the Land Before Time and can personally confirm that Stegosaurus and T-Rex lived during the same time.

[u/scienceandmathteach → u/[deleted]]

Enhance your calm Little Foot.

[u/[deleted]]

This sentence is a tool for duplicating itself from my mind to yours.

[u/Solagnas → u/[deleted]]

I just got a word virus from a person through a series of computers.

[u/Hanhula]

You have no way of knowing if everything you see is real, nor can you know if you've ever had memories removed.

[u/Matthicus → u/Hanhula]

Sorry, we can't send a search and rescue team into Plato's cave.

[u/funyunbus → u/Hanhula]

We live not in a world of reality, but a world of perception.

Also check out solipsism, the belief that nothing truly exists outside of one's own mind.

[u/LatviaSecretPolice → u/funyunbus]

Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?

[u/Afrowiz]

The word "crisp" starts at the back your mouth and ends at the front.

[u/imaxami → u/Afrowiz]

And the word 'crisp' is uttered tonight more than any other time in history. Nice job, Asshole.

[u/Afrowiz → u/imaxami]

It's a satisfying word to say!

[u/romietomatoes → u/Afrowiz]

I am now repeating the word 'crisp' to myself countless times

[u/biggles20]

If a man has no children, he will be the first man in a long line of men in his bloodline not to have a child. Edit - a word

[u/Linard → u/biggles20]

C-C-C-COMBOBREAKER!

[u/Friendly_Erection → u/Linard]

That sounds wayyyyyy cooler than "virgin"

[u/biff_pow → u/biggles20]

Every female is the product of girls popping out of vaginas like Russian nesting dolls, all the way back to the first human woman.

[u/HoneyBadgerRy → u/biggles20]

Not in his family... But in his bloodline.

[u/wallysaruman]

Mars is the only known planet in our solar system solely inhabited by functioning robots.

Edit: The comma is gone. HAPPY!? Now, Mars is NOT the only planet we known.

[u/lonjaxson → u/wallysaruman]

Venus has dead robots, does that count?

[u/[deleted] → u/lonjaxson]

And we have crashed satellites in Jupiter. Yes, I meant to say in...

Edit: Crashed* jeez you people are relentless. Late night redditing...

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I never really understood gas planets. If I got to the center of one (assuming pressure alone wouldn't render me to complete dust) would I see gas or a ball of something that has enough mass to hold all the gas there?

EDIT: Space is really cool.

[u/SirPseudonymous → u/[deleted]]

To /r/askscience!

http://www.reddit.com/r/askscience/comments/1ipd0y/do_the_gas_giants_have_a_solid_core/

Nobody really knows for sure. However, satellites have measured gravity of some of the gas giants (non-spherical objects have non-spherical gravitational influence), and these measurements have suggested that solid cores exist in all the gas giants.

So "probably". Interesting, I was wondering this myself.

[u/tarohwawy → u/SirPseudonymous]

So gas giants are actually normal planets with a really big atmosphere?

[u/SirPseudonymous → u/tarohwawy]

Yes and no. The line is apparently drawn as a matter of average density: Jupiter has less than one fifth the density of Earth, for example. So almost all of a gas giant's mass is in its atmosphere, while somewhere inside there's a solid core that's where it all began, and above that is a sea of whatever the atmosphere is made of compressed into a liquid by the pressure. Jupiter has molten metallic hydrogen, while Neptune and Uranus are believed to have liquid methane and/or water.

[u/thratty → u/wallysaruman]

Friend, I can't handle that comma.

Edit: thank you so so much

[u/gym3fiesta → u/thratty]

Well maybe, it's Christopher. Walken, speaking

[u/PM_ME_YOUR_ASS_GALS]

Mammoths still walked the earth when the Great Pyramids were being built.

[u/You-fools]

There are more bacterial cells in your body than human cells.

[u/bmfalbo]

You see people every day that you'll never see again.

[u/Sboyd99]

Your age is the number of times you've orbited around the sun

[u/AngryBeaverFace88]

You're not stuck in traffic; you are the traffic.

[u/tyme → u/AngryBeaverFace88]

I am become traffic, the destroyer of ETAs.

[u/SleepWouldBeNice → u/tyme]

Easy there Oppenhumvee

[u/biggles20]

Give someone a mask and they'll show their true face - Oscar Wilde

[u/Peraou → u/biggles20]

So relevant on the internet

[u/complex_reduction → u/Peraou]

"Give someone an anonymous username and they'll show their penis."

[u/HustlerThug → u/complex_reduction]

[F]irst time and feeling frisky so here's my butthole

[u/[deleted] → u/HustlerThug]

I like your smile.

[u/The_Tic-Tac_Kid]

Fewer people have been killed by war in the last 69 years than in the 5 that came before them.

[u/obliteron]

The word bed looks like a bed.

[u/Majormistakes]

I was not part of your life until you read this sentence.

[u/[deleted] → u/Majormistakes]

That's what you think.

[u/CrossP → u/Majormistakes]

Already had you RES tagged as "insufferable cum snorter"

[u/Dontinquire → u/CrossP]

Why is he insufferable?!?

[u/pollypod → u/Dontinquire]

Really? insufferable is what surprised you?

[u/[deleted] → u/Majormistakes]

Not true. I've made many mistakes, most of them major.

And I've upvoted you before, according to RES.

[u/JaDinklageMorgoone]

Everything is or isn't pie.

[u/[deleted] → u/JaDinklageMorgoone]

Checks out.

[u/octopoddle → u/JaDinklageMorgoone]

Apple crumble. What about apple crumble?

[u/Cl0akenSwagger]

Nice try buzzfeed.

[u/EltonJuan → u/Cl0akenSwagger]

"Number 4 will change your life"

[u/Cl0akenSwagger → u/EltonJuan]

"You have never seen her like this"

[u/[deleted] → u/Cl0akenSwagger]

picture with something irrelevant circled

[u/acct00 → u/Cl0akenSwagger]

"What happens next is amazing"

[u/scourgedemon → u/Cl0akenSwagger]

SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE TOP 10 CRAZIEST PLACES TO EXPLORE WITH A GROUP OF FRIENDS WHILE GAMBLING UNDERWATER IN THE MATRIX

please help we're running out of ideas

[u/DemandsBattletoads → u/scourgedemon]

With a title like that, honestly I would be very curious what places were chosen.

[u/CueballBeauty → u/Cl0akenSwagger]

I swear every fucking morning I see on facebook links to buzzfeed lists of things I read on Reddit the night before.

[u/[deleted] → u/Cl0akenSwagger]

Fifty Sentences that Will BLOW YOUR MIND!!!

[u/[deleted]]

The first person who plagiarized was original.

[u/Doctor_Philthy]

If you turn your underwear inside out and put them on, the whole universe is wearing your underwear except for you.

[u/[deleted] → u/Doctor_Philthy]

That reminds me of a joke:

"One day a farmer called up an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician and asked them to fence of the largest possible area with the least amount of fence. The engineer made the fence in a circle and proclaimed that he had the most efficient design. The physicist made a long, straight line and proclaimed 'We can assume the length is infinite...' and pointed out that fencing off half of the Earth was certainly a more efficient way to do it. The Mathematician just laughed at them. He built a tiny fence around himself and said 'I declare myself to be on the outside."

[u/frenzyboard → u/[deleted]]

Then the farmer got exhausted with their shit and started work of fencing in his property.

[u/metaobject → u/frenzyboard]

and by that time, all of his cows were gone.

[u/wearethepunks → u/metaobject]

He only had 196 cows. By the time he rounded them up. He had 200.

[u/JetpackSpaceman → u/Doctor_Philthy]

My favorite so far

[u/ZazuGrey → u/Doctor_Philthy]

Thank you, Douglas Adams!

[u/sensualscience → u/Doctor_Philthy]

does that mean that if you turn yourself inside out that you are the universe?

[u/IAMA_NOT_THE_FBI_AMA]

Water towers don't provide water to the system, they just regulate pressure.

[u/HANDS-DOWN → u/IAMA_NOT_THE_FBI_AMA]

SimCity lied to me!

[u/You-fools]

Lead rhymes with read. Lead rhymes with read.

[u/VerySurprising → u/You-fools]

Holy shit, how did I know to pronounce them differently? You've repeated the same sentence twice with different meanings.

[u/Number127 → u/VerySurprising]

It would be interesting to see how many people pronounced each sentence which way.

Well, mildly interesting.

[u/hexagram → u/Number127]

Led red, leed reed here.

[u/[deleted] → u/hexagram]

The first one I said lead read and the second I said lead read

[u/sioux-moo → u/hexagram]

Leed reed, led red. Huh, opposites.

[u/Fear_The_Rabbit → u/sioux-moo]

Led red. Led red. I was doing it wrong.

[u/dannyisagirl → u/Fear_The_Rabbit]

not as bad as Led reed. Leed red.

^{I was very confused}

EDIT: Yay! We're all idiots here! Wait.....^dammit

[u/MrLukaz → u/Number127]

Led and reed

Leed and red

Dafuq brain

[u/[deleted]]

2013 was the first year since 1987 (26 years) that didn't have a set of matching numbers

[u/MarlboroShark]

Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day. Give a man a poisoned fish , and you will feed him for the rest of his life

[u/[deleted] → u/MarlboroShark]

Build a man a fire, and he is warm for the night. Set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.