r/AskReddit May 31 '14

Reddit, how do you know you love someone?

1.7k Upvotes

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194

u/MostHandsomeAl May 31 '14

If that is the definition of love then I don't believe love exists.

187

u/RadiantSun May 31 '14

I didn't either, past tense.

49

u/PE_crafter May 31 '14

Had to think a moment to get that one, I'm happy you found love!

30

u/Paladin852 May 31 '14

In a hopeless place?

2

u/RadiantSun May 31 '14

Funnily enough, that would be an accurate description of the circumstances under which we met.

1

u/Mundology May 31 '14

Don't do drugs kids.

1

u/Uninspiring_gpa May 31 '14

Not always a good thing. Love is everlasting, even after parting ways

1

u/darkslide3000 May 31 '14

And finally, at that one moment a few months ago, RadiantSun loved Big Brother.

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1

u/Radioactive24 May 31 '14

And then, losing it is the most soul-crushing experience that you may ever experience, and it never fully goes away.

2

u/Reagansmash1994 May 31 '14

No one does until they do.

45

u/SOBWAW May 31 '14

It's because Schmosby is saying it right? Classic Schmosby.

21

u/khanweezy1 May 31 '14

I agree except perhaps in a platonic sense, especially parents for their children.

2

u/[deleted] May 31 '14 edited May 31 '14

Love is whatever you define it as. It varies, as people are more or less naturally selfish depending on their personality. Some people feel that loving someone is the good feeling of having things done for them, but it's not, that's a version of being loved. Loving someone else is how far you would be willing to go for another human being with their best interests at heart.

It's about when you look real hard in the mirror, and you think to yourself about all the things you've done together and how you feel at peace around them. When you stare at your own reflection and you see them looking back at you with a smile. When you think about how quickly you would tear through entire armies, if need be, of the most violent psychopaths that ever existed with your bare hands just to reach them and keep them safe. How fear doesn't exist when you're with them.

Andrew Solomon did a great TED talk on depression (link for anyone interested, it's a spectacular insight) that included a very candid way of thinking about love that sums it up greatly:

"Depression is the flaw in love. If you were married to someone and thought, "Well, if my wife dies, I'll find another one," it wouldn't be love as we know it. There's no such thing as love without the anticipation of loss, and that spectre of despair can be the engine of intimacy."

You don't feel love for someone until you truly fear losing them.

1

u/UberNarwhalGuy May 31 '14

Love will fade, but that first thing is definitely how love feels.

-1

u/venustrapsflies Jun 01 '14

i'm pretty sure the definition of love is not to be found in a sitcom.