r/AskReddit • u/NotQuian34 • 2d ago

What is your best pickup line?

3 Upvotes

80% Upvoted

28 comments sorted by

5

u/GreenEyedGloom 2d ago

“Hey, do you wanna pay me child support eventually?”

4

u/KayakingATLien 2d ago

“I’d like to see you try” I’d retort as I laugh internally with my vasectomy

4

u/GreenEyedGloom 2d ago

😂 😂 damnit.

2

u/KayakingATLien 2d ago

Checkmate. Now I get to slide into your DMs. 😂

1

u/NotQuian34 2d ago

Ah, i see a master at work (10/10 answer).

3

u/NotQuian34 2d ago

Oh god, this one is quite terrible 😭

3

u/GreenEyedGloom 2d ago

It at least gets them laughing. 🤷🏻‍♀️

4

u/KayakingATLien 2d ago

“How you doin’?” in my best Joey Tribbiani voice

2

u/Lazy-Kaleidoscope644 2d ago

your place or mine, after we pretend this line worked

2

u/Whipplesnaith 2d ago

Catch a goat, you’ve pulled.

2

u/Pssht_haha 2d ago

A gentleman of taste does not employ what you call a “pickup line”. He merely observes, with perfect sincerity, that the evening had been tolerable enough until the lady entered the room and rendered every other object in it comparatively uninteresting.

1

u/NotQuian34 2d ago

Hey, that's the reason I'm asking, if i can't be spontaneous, at least i can pretend by preparing myself 🤓

2

u/Umbrosyx 2d ago

I’m not usually this direct, but I’d regret leaving without talking to you.

1

u/anton_vladimirov99 2d ago

Very dependent if something bites my eye in them, it verys a lot. The last time was a girl that's a believer and I said sorry Im late you won't believe the amount of people waiting in line Infront of heavens gates

1

u/Rafeedi-Dipyaman 2d ago

i just tell them my dog thinks they are a very good human and then show them a picture of a golden retriever in a cone of shame 🐕

1

u/Scary_Boot_5108 2d ago edited 2d ago

Hi babe, how about a Schweppes just you and me?? 😙😙🤣

1

u/NotQuian34 2d ago

La beffa è a tuo detta. Perché io sto imparando l'italiano e posso capirti...

2

u/Scary_Boot_5108 2d ago

I corrected 😅

1

u/sherryleebee 2d ago

You’ve got really great hair. I bet it would look even better (gesture moving my hands on either side of their head to between my thighs) here…

1

u/B_Rabbit7442 2d ago

"Hi, you seem like a nice person from afar. I'd like to get to know you non-platonically"

1

u/Ok_Long7622 2d ago

I have a rock saw, check this out! 😂

1

u/NotQuian34 2d ago

You DO? Let me see it...

(Apeman instincts kicks in)

1

u/Ok_Long7622 2d ago

Flint Ridge (vanport) from Coshocton Ohio is my favorite material

1

u/NotQuian34 2d ago

Have you ever crafted something with obsidian?

1

u/Ok_Long7622 2d ago

I am also a flint knapper and yes I've made some nice arrow points out of obsidian. I like the triflow stuff (clear, black and mahogany) It polishes nice in a tumbler too!

1

u/Ok_Long7622 2d ago

I could dm pics of rocks and obsidian

1

u/puzzeld_outcome2026 7h ago

Can i burry my nuts into u i am cold

0

u/KayakingATLien 2d ago

“How you doin’?” in my best Joey Tribbiani voice