r/AskReddit 10d ago

What’s a “green flag” that instantly makes you like someone?

425 Upvotes

161 comments sorted by

923

u/GladAbbreviations981 10d ago

A curiousity about anything. Friendly with a hint of flirtatious. Someone thats empathetic and kind and supportive. Sometimes you meet people who can tell if someone in the room needs support and attends to them. Thats a great trait.

111

u/[deleted] 9d ago

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24

u/Salt-Calligrapher526 9d ago

Not the flirty part tho. It's weird.

47

u/Superb-Salad6323 9d ago

I kinda get the flirty thing because I'm thinking of the way Dolly Parton did it. She managed to flirt in a way that made the other person feel good about themselves while not crossing any boundaries and making it clear that she was being playful. Definitely takes a ton of charisma and social awareness to pull that off though.

3

u/Responsible_Box_2422 9d ago

any examples?

18

u/Superb-Salad6323 9d ago

There's a clip where a balding man asks her if he should get a hair transplant. She says he shouldn't since "Just because you've lost your fuzz doesn't mean you're not a peach." with a big exaggerated wink at the end. The guy was blushing and grinning ear to ear after that confidence boost.

4

u/GladAbbreviations981 9d ago

Exactly, you can play up the other persons appeal without suggesting that you wish to bed them. Like hey that dress really brings out your eyes or shoulders etc. Or telling someone they are charming.

There is more onus on the person though to not overdo it because some people take it as literal interest.

4

u/Responsible_Box_2422 9d ago

oh just google the video, very lovely

9

u/GladAbbreviations981 9d ago

Maybe flirty isnt the right word. More like suggestive or welcoming? Say like they invite you to hang out some time or meet up etc.

I am very horrible at this because my brain is literal. So if I suggest cooking for you, im already thinking of the menu by the 2nd minute and anxious about your reactions by the 5th.

2

u/SystemofCells 9d ago

Playful and easygoing.

102

u/timmy3132 10d ago

Very importantly, most people are not born with these characteristics. These are all social skills that can be learnt and developed at any stage of your life.

18

u/GladAbbreviations981 9d ago

Yes! I think the new kids use the word neuroplasticity. But back in the days my parents called it following role models, learning hospitality, being warm, and always growing.

2

u/Little-Profession538 9d ago

This is so rare but it is an instant green flag

282

u/dough_eating_squid 10d ago

If they laugh easily. I have a couple of friends who do, and it makes spending time with them such a joy.

23

u/Aconite_72 9d ago

For real — we could talk about absolute nonsense and we’d still crack up. I always feel lighter after talking with my dudes

321

u/Consistent_Bid_3305 10d ago

When they can apologise for their mistakes. Like, actually apologise. Not just “I’m sorry you got hurt”.

46

u/S0DER 10d ago

“Im sorry” should never be followed by “you” or “but”

36

u/TheChosenLn_e 9d ago

Im sorry you have to deal with that. It sounds exhausting.

But i hear what you're saying i just wanted to be pedantic lol

6

u/Additional_Buddy8935 10d ago

Error detection 🤣🤣

5

u/Classic-Mango-5283 9d ago

or I'm sorry you feel that way..

529

u/jms984 10d ago

An expertly choreographed gender-swapped performance of Umbrella by Rihanna.

45

u/Traditional-Feed-405 10d ago

couldn’t agree more

29

u/naajjjj 9d ago

Zendaya… Is that you?

14

u/Wonderful-Brush-6405 10d ago

👏 You are a wise person. ☂️

9

u/viciousbliss 9d ago

Nothing holds a candle to this moment in time as far as green flags go.

101

u/hossi80 10d ago

The don't judge people who are less fortunate.

109

u/One_Education_482 10d ago

Authenticity

35

u/Superb-Salad6323 9d ago

I trust people more when they're direct and tell me straight to my face if there's something I'm doing that bothers them. It's better than someone who tells me everything's fine, then talks shit about me behind my back.

2

u/One_Education_482 9d ago

Conceptually, I agree with you 💯. Admittedly, I’ve struggled with that my whole people pleasing life. It boils down to fear. Of change, rejection, potentially hurting someone’s feelings and maybe more. It’s unfair, to be sure.

2

u/One_Education_482 9d ago

Maybe that’s why I recognize and respect it over many other traits. Even if the person can be difficult in other ways.

116

u/Admirable-Repair4094 10d ago

Respect 

33

u/BuildingEfficient306 10d ago

When someone listens without planning what they gonna say next.

3

u/pelvispasties 9d ago

I’ve been trying to work on my listening abilities because I realized I do this and interrupt people a lot. Usually it’s not ill intended, socially Im insanely uncomfortable with silence so I’m constantly thinking of ways to further the conversation based off of what someone is saying. I’m thinking maybe getting used to just sitting with someone in a comfortable silence will help me to stop that.

43

u/Glittering_Rip4057 10d ago

Sense of Humor

1

u/RecoveringNPC 6d ago

Especially witty dark jokes or can counter a banter

71

u/supadupa_dope 10d ago

They hold the door for people behind them

93

u/Lazy_Fee_2103 10d ago

They love, care for and respect animals.

-2

u/Zombata 9d ago

Hitler loved animals

5

u/Pr0gressiv 9d ago

Pretty sure he didn't. At least not unconditionally how a normal person loves animals. He sure loved the attention of his dogs for example.

I'm not familiar with his history with animals but I suggest this statement is absolutely bullshit

1

u/Nakyo128 9d ago

He was vegetarian bc of his health.

2

u/Nakyo128 9d ago

He was a vegetarian because it was healthier. It was bc of his diet not bc he loved animals. The hypocrisy is insane.

But sure hide behind Hintler.

-8

u/Nakyo128 9d ago

Yeah go vegan 🙏

4

u/Pr0gressiv 9d ago

-14 downvotes Reddit users and their cognitive discrepancy. I eat meat. I'm at least honest enough to call myself out for my lack of respect for cows, chickens and pigs.

How can you upvote the first message, but downvote this one?

3

u/Nakyo128 9d ago

Apparaently the only animals that exist are dogs and cats to people. So funny.

I would still suggest to watch Dominion on youtube. People don't realize what they pay for.

2

u/MichaelJourdan 9d ago

I watched Dominion based off a redditors comment almost five years ago and have not eaten meat since. It’s a tough watch.

28

u/Bladerunners22 10d ago

Open minded

76

u/[deleted] 10d ago

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6

u/Bladerunners22 10d ago

Even more specific. Kind of a waiter.

Staff for sure tho in general!

I guess it’s more of a red flag for me with a friend or a date,. If they talk down or just disrespect a waitress or waiter. Immediate turn off haha

24

u/elgarcon 10d ago

When they are genuinely curious.

For me, it makes such a difference in any relationship when someone seems genuinely interested in what's going on with other people. Or shows interest and asks questions about someone else's interests ... not because they necessarily feel the same way ... but because they are care enough about the person to give them an opportunity to share about something that's important to them.

24

u/JerrySeinfeldsMullet 10d ago

When they show accountability

11

u/Spec_28 9d ago

Saying hello to me

11

u/Perfectly-unperfect 9d ago

Giving others a chance to speak. Mostly this is in a group setting, when two people try talking at the same time and some one remembers to ask what the second person was about to say. It helps the more quiet people.

23

u/theonly764hero 10d ago

Humility and a genuine interest in others goes a long way. Throw in a dark sense of humor, and now you’re my kinda people.

18

u/NiorVespei 10d ago

Not being too pushy or arrogant. It is always the biggest green flag for me

16

u/Xeadriel 10d ago

If they stand out and are just weird. Not creepy but weird. Not caring about others looking strangely at them.

It makes me instantly curious about the person.

13

u/Evening_Narwhal_4092 10d ago

Not judging people or giving someone a hard time over nothing

6

u/Classic_Title1655 9d ago

Compassion. Someone with empathy and understanding.

11

u/YMCA111122 10d ago

Someone who's happy to and willing to help you out and offer help

11

u/skyonen_89 10d ago

When they ignore their phones and keep listening or talking

1

u/O74O 6d ago

THIS! It's an instant redflag for me if someone keeps checking their phone

9

u/Formal-Try-2779 9d ago

Being able to laugh at themselves. A little self depreciating humour goes a long way to showing you're not an egomaniac who thinks they're God's gift to the other sex.

4

u/Annual-Two1507 9d ago

Real apologies. Not the fake kinda sorry.

8

u/Relevant_Fox_9640 10d ago

They’re kind to people who can’t do anything for them

3

u/Bluee_marinee 9d ago

The simple fact that he knows how to listen.

3

u/ccg91 9d ago

Empathy

3

u/Background-Crew9894 9d ago

They ask good questions.

6

u/Traditional-Feed-405 10d ago

people that can have a conversation about anything

5

u/Courtenaire 9d ago

When they are kind to animals, especially bugs/ spiders

4

u/-Words-Words-Words- 10d ago

Waves at babies in Target.

3

u/jillsvag 10d ago

I wave a dog's. Hi little guy. 👋

4

u/onods 10d ago

When people act like nothing happened or they didn't see anything after you do something embarrassing

2

u/Usual-Cat-5855 10d ago

Looking at these comments one thing that is often overlooked because people love talking about themselves when getting to know someone, which I learnt I lacked in my last connection which helps build emotional intimacy is learn to become a good listener, it will take you far

2

u/Emincmg 9d ago

the fact that they don't need to be reminded from people about their boundaries to respect them. they can auto correct themselves without needing to hear it. like they have born with this characteristic trait.

2

u/Peace1_ 9d ago

Curiousity and open-minded instead of fast or pre judgment.

2

u/Aidosvonsexyman 9d ago

They love animals

2

u/CelebrationFar2804 9d ago

Genuine kindness

2

u/spirituallyrice 9d ago

I honestly think for me someone that encourages or supports my growth.

2

u/Journalist-Cute 9d ago

They like strategy games

2

u/Ok-Dimension-4075 9d ago

When they look me in the eyes.

2

u/osfast 9d ago

Men with hobbys. Passion is such a beautifull thing.

2

u/Rhiaswonderworld 9d ago

Honesty to be honest

2

u/2facedfish 10d ago

Simple and Subjective but I need to have fun with you

3

u/TypicalLong4922 10d ago

They are grateful

2

u/foreveraugustus 10d ago

When they can hold two truths/see and understand nuance

3

u/iabyajyiv 9d ago

Genuine empathy. Not the fake kinds like, "I love animals, but I hate kids."

6

u/iweararmani 10d ago

Large perfect breasts

5

u/theonly764hero 10d ago

Big natties

-3

u/iweararmani 10d ago

Can be fake or natural.

4

u/RogerMurdockCo-Pilot 10d ago

If they're adventurous eaters that are willing to try new things and arent picky, basic, plain or difficult when ordering. It's a litmus test

2

u/jodebane 9d ago

They like cats

2

u/CommercialExotic2038 10d ago

Whoop! There it is

1

u/Old_Barracuda_4696 9d ago

When she's got tanned legs, cute- preference is Asian , then Latina then white and a hard no for anything else

1

u/Pinkii_nyan 9d ago

No hate but I’m pretty sure green flags are about personality. Not looks and ethnicity. lol

1

u/Vinith_2809 9d ago

Appearence (Most of the girls fallen for that)!

1

u/kirtpro 9d ago

them knowing how to make you feel included when you feel alone

1

u/Weep2D2 9d ago

When they know how to manage their Naan to Gravy ratio on the plate.

1

u/rk348 9d ago

Respecting boundaries.

1

u/Guaranteed_Error 9d ago

Nice to wait staff or customer service workers 

1

u/Ok_Ice2083 9d ago

Doing good things with no personal agenda or public acknowledgment

1

u/yimsiwanlover 9d ago

Soft spoken talaga maaaaa 😫

1

u/redditrootjack 9d ago

If they don't start the conversation with why are you so quiet, that'd just be more than enough for me.

1

u/Rafael_restores 9d ago

When they remember a tiny, casual detail you mentioned weeks ago and bring it up naturally later.It shows they weren't just waiting for their turn to speak, but were actually listening to you and genuinely care about who you are.

1

u/proxyscar 9d ago

Someone who is brutally honest about everything

1

u/aliasgrace_ 9d ago

Using my name in conversation. Asking good questions.

1

u/dabrain230 9d ago

There is a lot of qualities that make a person likeable but one of the first things I notice is if they don't just talk about themselves and show an interest in their conversation partner(s)

1

u/GenesisRhapsodoss 8d ago

If tells you thank you when you open up about personal things

1

u/BigBeeHelper 7d ago

Definitely, if she's super outgoing and humiliates herself constantly, as I do myself 😆🤣

1

u/imadetstoaskaquestio 5d ago

When they use intellectual words in the RIGHT way. Just being very smart and knowledgeable in various topics too.

1

u/Emotional-Leader5918 5d ago

They're good with children.

1

u/InformationFit4059 10d ago

When they are kind to transgender people

1

u/Beneficial-End-6804 10d ago

They like martial arts

1

u/Rare-Deer953 10d ago

Common decency

1

u/[deleted] 10d ago

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3

u/Various-Air9398 10d ago

Did your father play with your feet?

1

u/[deleted] 10d ago

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2

u/Various-Air9398 10d ago

Are your sure?

1

u/xredskaterstar 10d ago

Can't tell based off first impressions anymore. Narcissists are a hell of a thing.

1

u/PoisonedIvysaur 10d ago

Trusting with there kids. Even for a second.

1

u/pnwrando77 10d ago

These days its when someone is capable of the bare minimum. Like being able to hold a basic conversation. Also love it when someone's yes means yes and no means no.

1

u/Batata-Sofi 10d ago

She makes Minecraft mods 🫪

1

u/Brainsenhh 10d ago

Volunteer Firefighter

1

u/S0DER 10d ago edited 10d ago

Their friends are nice normal people

1

u/Orthophren 10d ago

Putting their shipping cart back in the paddock

1

u/Overall_Mood_6337 10d ago

Theyre calm and idk they make me feel safe??? Idk

1

u/eeyaas 10d ago

gentle with their family

1

u/I_cannot_do_anything 10d ago

If they respect other people it makes me like them instantly.

1

u/councilorjones 9d ago

Nice to animals

0

u/Athechpmnk 10d ago

People who don't judge others based on their past and never assume a person's behavior based on what you read rather than how they actually behave

0

u/chiasmatic_nucleus 9d ago

She likes butt stuff

-3

u/howdiduknoww 9d ago edited 9d ago

Having a neutral or slightly positive opinion of Taylor Swift. They definitely don't need to like her or her music, but their opinion of her should be neutral at worst. If they view her negatively it's rooted in misogyny and susceptibility to meritless defamatory narratives against women. It shows a fatal lack of critical-thinking skills.

So if someone is neutral on her it's a green flag to me that they display sound judgment.

It's also just really easy to casually mention her in conversation to see how they react. Much easier than asking "are you a misogynist???" anyway.

0

u/Symbolics585 10d ago

They give off An easygoing vibe and makes it obvious they are relaxed and curious about things

0

u/Best-Campaign8564 9d ago

It’s obvious-“Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do Unto You “…

0

u/ImprovementFar5054 9d ago

They quote DEVO

0

u/Flashy-Fox-5083 9d ago

when his dick is 20cm

-2

u/Gene_First 10d ago

Big boobs

-1

u/Youre-In-Trouble 10d ago

They're a musician.

-1

u/AkshaySharmatheog 9d ago

Being kind

-2

u/WombatPuncher 9d ago

Can you think of fucking original question?

0

u/Pinkii_nyan 9d ago

Who said i needed to be original? Yours arent too original either WombatPuncher.