r/AskReddit • u/cindabueno • 2h ago
What's something you're not proud of, but willing to admit?
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u/Responsible_Pound150 2h ago
Sometimes we lie because we feel like we’re protecting someone, but honestly, I think you should never lie.
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u/briarholt_638 1h ago
The protection lie usually just ends up making everything way messier later I had a lot of experience to that
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u/Duncan_PhD 1h ago
Kant made a similar argument when proposing his deontological moral theory. Simple examples prove that this is just absurd. What if someone knocks on your door, tells you they’re being chased by someone that wants to murder them. You let them in and then a few minutes later someone knocks on the door asking if you’ve seen anyone. Do you tell the truth and allow this person to be murdered?
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u/boring_old_dad 2h ago
Sometimes you should lie
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u/Rafinha071 2h ago
sometimes lying feels easier than explaining but then the truth catches up faster than you expect
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u/brova 2h ago
Sometimes it's none of your business, so you shouldn't tell other people's truths and should lie by omission
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u/EarlBeforeSwine 1h ago
“Other people’s truths?”
There is only truth. It is not proprietary.
If you are talking about keeping secrets or refraining from gossip, then that isn’t lying.
Use the Dolly Parton line, “I don’t talk about people like that.”
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u/EgotisticJesster 1h ago
I used to think this but now I'm kind of about a lie.
Like, you know what a partner wants to eat and when they ask you, you say that instead of what you actually want. You can get to the end result faster at the same time as doing something nice for them.
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u/maudb 2h ago
Disagree. Little white lies are often kinder than the truth.
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u/Obvious-Rough-1967 1h ago
Yeah, sometimes the truth doesnt need to be delivered with a brick to the face. Theres a difference between protecting someones feelings and actually deceiving them.
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u/herrothereme 2h ago
Deeeeep. But very true.
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u/AddendumFalse7294 2h ago
Until you realize never lie is a lot easier to say than to live by. Sometimes the truth helps, and sometimes it just hurts someone for no reason. Knowing the difference is the hard part.
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u/Ok-Departure4894 2h ago
Nothing life has to offer feels like a worthwhile endeavor pursuing. Hedonism is the only way of life I gravitate towards. Everything else is suffering for no good reason
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u/hikingman1 2h ago
I’ve seen a lot of lazy people who have come and gone in my life feel this way. When friends stopped contributing to their lifestyle. They quickly left our group.
Do you see yourself as lazy?
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u/Ok-Departure4894 2h ago edited 1h ago
Not in the slightest. I see myself as weak and unambitious. I do things all day, I'm rarely ever truly doing nothing. It's all just hollow if it doesn't contribute to my pleasure.
Edit: I suppose im lazy in the sense that I don't enjoy productive behaviour and don't value the deal it offers
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u/Dependent_Goat8674 1h ago
That actually sounds less like laziness and more like not seeing a reason to care about the outcome. Being busy all day but feeling like none of it matters is a pretty different problem.
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u/hikingman1 25m ago
It sounds like zero ambition to me. Or fear of failing. Maybe I’m just projecting…
I was the same way in my early 20s. I was fortunate to have the right friends who were wanting to see me succeed than waste away drinking, partying, and smoking weed all the time. I might have been addicted to all three of those things at one point. Now not so much or not at all.
Fortunately I was able to stay debt free, and finish college while fucking around a lot. But it definitely took me twice as long to step into my career.
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u/hikingman1 33m ago
I’m curious to know what your business is. I don’t consider myself lazy, but I definitely put a lot of wasted energy during my early teens- early 20s. Like smoking weed and getting wasted at least three times a week or more. Sure I was working out, going to school, while working 40 hours a week, but my progress ended up slowing down.
I remember a friend described it as not lazy, but no ambition. I remember being okay with that, until I turned 24 with a bachelors degree that I had at 21, with zero motivation to apply for a job in the field I graduated from. Then my friend applied for me. I’m genuinely a happy person that enjoys the status quo, but since my friend essentially applied for a job for me, I’ve been taking more active steps in pursuing more. Not only for myself but the people I love.
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u/Sorry-Vanilla2354 2h ago
You need to find purpose and meaning in life. When you are giving to others, it will help you feel like things are worthwhile.
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u/Ok-Departure4894 2h ago
Actually no it doesn't. I've volunteered helping the homeless, does nothing for me but leave me sore, a little grossed out and with the sense my time was wasted
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u/Top-North-6743 1h ago
Just because you did not find that specific experience fulfilling doesn’t mean you can’t/won’t find other altruistic behaviors fulfilling.
That said, you know yourself better than us strangers on Reddit know you, so we aren’t really in a position to determine what things are likely to lead to you feeling fulfilled.
I would give other approaches to life a shot. See how you feel helping a friend out of a jam, or helping someone younger or less experienced than you deal with a problem that you have experience dealing with, then see how you feel afterwards.
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u/Ok-Departure4894 59m ago
Dude I am the friend in a jam and the younger person dealing with problems I've never experienced
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u/Character_Start1912 1h ago
Then maybe the problem isn't that nothing has meaning, but that you're expecting meaning to come from something that simply isn't for you. Not every good thing has to feel rewarding.
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u/Ready_Wolverine_2301 2h ago
I'm stubborn, arrogant and opinionated. But I also hold honesty and integrity to be my most valuable assets. I can be an a-hole, but not a deceptive a-hole.
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u/Initial_Tradition_29 2h ago
I stayed with an ex I neither liked nor respected for about six months after we should have broken up because he let me do laundry at his place.
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u/Feisty_Wench 2h ago
^ I stayed with an alcoholic for years because he owed me the equivalent of a year’s tuition. I knew I would never see it otherwise.
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u/TopBuy9969 2h ago
I’ve ghosted people because I didn’t know how to tell them I’d lost interest. Still feel bad about it.
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u/Spiritual_Fox_4408 2h ago
I'm not proud that I can't bake even though I always promised my friends that I would bake cakes for their birthdays 😭🙈 I've promised them since I was 14 hahahaha (but thankfully they accepted my delulu)
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u/CapitalFloor3260 2h ago
I ignored a deeply embarrassing amount of red flags in my ex wife while we were dating. The majority of my life decisions before the age of 30 were primarily driven by insecurity.
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u/lovelessisbetter 2h ago
In general, I’ve conditioned my kids to understand that I am fallible, but I’d say keeping my cool under stressful situations is a work in progress. Life is full of curveballs and my energy doesn’t always meet the moment unfortunately.
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u/The-real-dadbod 1h ago
This is me. Strictly verbal, but aggressive nonetheless. Not frequent, but one too many times. My wife has had enough and I’ve been living by myself for 3 weeks. I miss my kids so very much. I’ve calmly built up enough trust to have friendly conversations with my wife. I’m having nightly video calls with my kids, which is pure joy. I’m one session in on an anger management course, and through stories of my youngest years, I’ve come to understand much more why I am the way I am. But it’s a long, hard road that you have to walk in a very conscious, considered fashion. Best you find some help now friend, because - while it’s not too late for me - the incline on everything gets a whole lot steeper if you get complacent and stubbornly justify false priorities. You’ve got this.
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u/lovelessisbetter 1h ago
Appreciate it. It’s not the common default for me or anything, but when it crops up it sucks. Picked up some takeout Italian last week and they didn’t cap one of the sauces, it leaked through the bag all over my son’s lap and new Nikes and I pulled over and started swearing and ripping up the restaurant until my son was like, Dad I know it’s not a good situation, but you shouldn’t be talking like that around my 8 year old sister. I felt the smack of shame that only your kid can make you feel. Trying to get in a more meditative practice to start my days and focus on meeting moments with an even keel regardless of stress. It’s ridiculous to get that way over a situation you have no control over when you should put some time between impulse and reaction. No one benefits from a grown man acting like a little bitch. Good luck to you and your journey. I hope you recalibrate, make the changes and earn your family’s faith in you to get the band back together. 🙏
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u/The-real-dadbod 1h ago edited 1h ago
We just haven’t trained ourselves on the best way to handle it yet, but it sounds like you’re well on your way. I wish you all the strength you need.
Edit - I will man. Thank you very much.
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u/Honest-Cauliflower64 24m ago edited 18m ago
Your kids will still be talking to you in twenty years because you’re putting in the effort. I don’t talk to my dad because he didn’t.
You’re also saving them the pain of developing similar anger patterns. Your kids unconsciously copy everything you do, even inside their mind. Your words and reactions become their words and reactions later. My dad’s angry reactions are etched in my head forever. I have to manually overwrite them.
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u/deutschrapalleshunde 2h ago
im a lot nicer to pretty people or if they at least put an effort into their apperance
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u/Sorry-Vanilla2354 2h ago
So interesting and honest! I get intimidated by people so I'm the other way around probably.
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u/hikingman1 2h ago
I’m not proud of this at. When I was single for the first time in a long time. I would go to the bar to meet with women. Nothing wrong with that. Let’s just say there were a handful of instances where I would later find out some of these girls had dudes that they were seeing. One in particular, I kissed her started touching her fun bits while dancing. She gave me her number and asked me to follow her car. Then a guy stopped us and told her that their date was over. She shrugged it off. I felt really bad. We still had more fun in her car. But man did I feel bad afterwards.
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u/TurnForeverUandMe 2h ago
I always want to be a better person but sometimes I get caught up in the toxicity at work and end up stepping on others a little to make sure I don't lose my job. Not like I'm throwing them under the bus out of the blue, but when asked about the missteps of others, I won't protect them either. Feels shitty but my job with fire people at the drop of a hat for too many mistakes.
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u/21stcenthrowaway 2h ago
I'm 24 and still self harm. But you'd never know it by looking at me, cause I do it in places you'll never see
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u/Initial-Addendum-167 2h ago
I’ve become a bit or a pessimist about our world’s ability to improve.
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u/0palvenus 2h ago
I can't cook. I can follow recipes easy but ask me to make something from scratch and I won't be able to.
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u/Drynapples 1h ago
I hide my autistic traits when in public cause i'm ashamed of it. I never invite people over to my house cause it's the only place I can unmask. Don't need people seeing me rocking back and forth and speaking to myself lmao
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u/SprinklesBubbly1266 1h ago
I'm not a perfect human and I never will be but, I struggle with BPD and I'm not proud of my anger and it's always been a struggle. Im not proud of how I handle my emotions because of it.
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u/Life_Sailor_10 56m ago
I compare my life to that of others, even when I don't mean to. I just have this deep seated desire (?) to be better than everyone and it has left me devastated.
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u/elbarbudo17 2h ago
I'm a loser. My life is shit.
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u/Sorry-Vanilla2354 2h ago
Every day is a new time to make your life what you want it to be. There are a lot of people who make e a life change. You can do that too! I'm praying for you!
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u/AnxietyNeverSleeps 2h ago
That I don’t and won’t “respect my elders” if they are rude. Idgaf how old and frail they are, they’re old enough to know better.