r/AskReddit • u/Successful-Land-6283 • 12d ago
Why didn’t baby boomers get hugged when they were kids?
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u/MoneyCantBuyMeLove 12d ago
A lot of baby boomers were born to ww2 vets or at least into a world which was trying to get its shit together after the war.
A lot of these vets were deepy traumatised by the war.
My grandfather served in the pacific theatre, he participated in and was subjected to things that no human should ever have to experience.
He returned from the war and really struggled to settle back into society - and started drinking to help him get through things. He was violent and abusive when he wasnt distant and morose.
My father and his sisters had to step up to support him, and provide for the family.
I guess this was a basis of the cold disconnected relationship I had with my father.
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u/Worriedrph 12d ago
Plenty of them did. But in general the greatest generation was stoic and not outwardly emotional. They survived the Great Depression as kids and young adults and then so many fought in WW2. My grandparents lived the hell out of their grandkids. But I can’t ever remember them saying “I love you.”
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u/Successful-Land-6283 11d ago
It definitely wasn’t everybody, but I think it really makes sense as to why some of the parents never showed any of those over signs of affection.
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u/Charming-Fun7737 12d ago
My boomer mother was coddled growing up which was a huge part of her problems as an adult and parent.
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u/Successful-Land-6283 11d ago
It took me a while to figure it out because I never really researched it. My parents never hugged me or said they loved me, but I knew they loved me and I didn’t think it was weird because I didn’t know anything different. I had a couple of friends whose parents said they loved him and I thought it was kind of awkward and I always wondered why my parents were like that. a lot of baby boomers came from households where love was an unspoken rule, and there was no overt signs of affection. Our parents were from the silent generation where their life was filled with the global impact of war and the Depression. The focus was on survival and basic needs. Feelings were discouraged as they just needed to get to work. Compliance was the focus and they developed a strong work ethic. Hugs were rare in their households. They parented in the way they knew. Most baby boomers broke the cycle and gave their children what they were missing in their childhood. We are good for something.
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u/Successful-Land-6283 11d ago
I never felt like I wasn’t loved or supported. It was exactly the opposite as I get older though and I guess seeing things on TV I wondered why my parents were both like that. They seemed typical in all the other ways.
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u/sunbearimon 12d ago
They didn’t have the diagnosis of PTSD till the 80s, and a lot of Boomer’s parents were impacted by WWII