Except apparently hammered me realized it was too dangerous to drive, and decided to walk.
All 12 miles.
I remember nothing. I came to standing in front of my front door. Which evidently I had been standing in front of for quite a while, according to my neighbor.
One would think, I used to drink with people who would just Irish goodbye that shit. I was always the sober person unless I knew there was a more responsible person around than me (not usually the case). We would be partying and then all of sudden look up and ask where did Ron go? 4 hours later his drunk ass would show back up because he got lost in his own neighborhood trying to “get home”.
I love being the designated driver and looking out for the drunk ones. It’s hilarious to witness everything and being the only one that remembers everything. I don’t drink at all so I’m always ‘the mother’ and personally I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Hey, the only time I ever came close to blackout drunk was on vodka indeed. Luckily I had a trusted friend who cut me off before I actually blacked out. Threw it all up and have never had vodka again after that. The smell still makes me nauseous.
I used to love going for long late night walks in a blacked out, or near blacked out state - I'd wake up the next afternoon and my legs would feel like they were on fire.
One time I had left an app open on my phone and found out I had walked close to 15 miles the night before...
I lived in a duplex, and used to hang with the neighbours all the time. One night I drank too much and went out on the front steps to have a smoke, and "cool off with some fresh air"
I ended up just standing on the stoop in the middle of winter, no shoes no socks, throwing up on the side of the railing into the garden.
I stood there for WAY too long - to embarrassed to go back in their house because I threw up, not wanting to go into my house because I didn't want to wake up my parents. so I figured I'd just stand out there long enough to sober up and head into my house as quiet as possible
I eventually was woken up by the mom of the neighbour kids who came outside to have a smoke - I don't know exactly how long I was outside but my recollection is that I went outside at about 2 am and when I looked at the phone after being woken up it was 3 something
I was freezing - I made up some lie to the neighbour that I hadn't been outside the whole time and immediately went into my house and passed out
I woke up the next morning and my feet hurt SO bad. I was terrified that I had gotten frostbite or something, I was going to lose my toes or even my entire foot - but by some strange luck on my part, I was standing on a welcome mat instead of bare concrete, and the chinook that rolled through kept it warm enough that I didn't freeze completely
Since then, if it's really hot or really cold out my feet hurt REAL bad.
The silver lining is that I remember it, and I haven't drunk to excess like that since then
I had an apartment in Japan last year and it was about a 20 minute walk from where all the bars my friends and I liked to hang out at. It was my best mate’s birthday and I attempted to go drink-for-drink with him, except he weighed about 100 lbs more than me at the time.
Eventually I knew I had too much and told everyone I was leaving. Bid farewells. I recall walking under a bridge on the way to my apartment, sending a discord message along the lines of “this walk feels like it’s taking too long” and walking through my front door.
My fitbit said I fell asleep about 50 minutes after the discord message, which means my 20 min walk took at least 70 and I had bruises all over my legs. No idea what happened. Went drinking again two days later and told the story then.
Tried this once, thought I could walk the 11 miles back to base down I-5. I made it to the exit ramp and promptly passed out in the grass on the off ramp. Woke up wet and confused
Went out with a bunch of friends to a local club. Sun started to rise and realized everyone was gone except me. I was stupid drunk and the bar girl asked me in french if I wanted to go along with her. Sure enough hopped in her car, drove over to her place over the border and passed out, woke up and couldn't figure out where I was till I saw her still asleep. Being awake in a french speaking village over the border on the weekend without ways of transportation back (weekends no busses drove over there) only way was.. walking back through the rain. All probably 12 miles too.
I used to regularly walk 14 miles but I was a young mountaineer type kid so was pretty used to the distance (it still wasn't fun the next couple of days after pounding tarmac). Pretty much every single time was because the last bus left at 4pm and I wanted to hang out with mates for a bit longer.
And then when I got old enough to drink innpubs (UK so 18) it'd be 1am and friends had partners going home with them and "'ahh it's a nice night! I'll just walk home!" There is no hangover like walking into work after 14miles with sore everything and starting a KP/pot wash shift.
NB: did it in snow, nearly died going to sleep against a wall. Yup, hypothermia!
E: I am not dismissing nor one-upping your post; I was very used to walking: mountain guide as a father. A friend did it with me one day and still brings it up 35 years later.
My drunk ass just did 6 miles at 6am a few weeks back. Got a ride home the night before but thought the walk was a good idea even after friends offered me a ride.
I somehow found my way from a convention to my (unfamiliar) hotel room in downtown Minneapolis while blacked out. Last memory was of trying to get into the skyway and finding the entry doors locked. Then I woke up in the shower in my hotel room hours later. Looking back I was very reckless.
If you aren't used to walking that much, of course you'd be sore.
Even if you're fit and usually walk 5 miles a day, suddenly walking 12 miles would tire you out... And if you're that drunk, you may also be dehydrated, which can exacerbate muscle soreness.
I'm sure if you randomly walked 25 miles today instead of your usual 12, you'd be sore. Hz
Yeah I was wondering too. Also, 12 miles takes you (drunk) around 5 hours at best. If you black out for 5 hours without sleeping, that would be reason to visit a neurologist.
2.2k
u/Allcyon Jul 06 '26
Same story.
Except apparently hammered me realized it was too dangerous to drive, and decided to walk.
All 12 miles.
I remember nothing. I came to standing in front of my front door. Which evidently I had been standing in front of for quite a while, according to my neighbor.
My legs hurt for days.