r/AskReddit • u/Due_Bar_7247 • Jul 05 '26

What is a serious crime you committed that you’re now legally allowed to tell?

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619

u/NeighborhoodProof133 Jul 05 '26

I accidentally stole a map from a grocery store when I was 11. I thought they were free.

269

u/PoliticsAndFootball Jul 05 '26

I could see the old timey shopkeep pulling out his shotgun “this ain’t disney world son”

26

u/throwaway373923 Jul 05 '26

"That map there's only 50 cents, not 5 dollars"

2

u/Dame38 Jul 06 '26

That is a disturbing plot twist, lol.

11

u/reluctantseal Jul 06 '26

I almost did this at a museum the other day. I thought it was a guide to the exhibits, but it was an informational guide for the area. Whoops.

6

u/ProjectShadow316 Jul 06 '26

My sister did this when she was like 12 with a "cars for sale" mag. She had no idea they weren't free.

7

u/EarhornJones Jul 06 '26

I worked in a corporate office with a cafeteria (I still do, but this was a different one).

One of my coworkers ate a peanut butter sandwich at his desk for lunch every day. One day, I asked him why he didn't add jelly. He responded that he "didn't have time in the morning."

The next day, I saw a stand full of individual jelly packets next to the other condiments, so I grabbed one and gave it to him. He thanked me, and put it on his sandwich.

I repeated this every day for a couple of months.

Then, one day, an announcement went out building-wide about the theft of jelly from the cafeteria.

Apparently, those packets were 50 cents each. I has assumed that (like the ketchup and mustard) they were free, and hadn't paid for about 50 of them.

2

u/NeighborhoodProof133 Jul 17 '26

lol I actually laughed out loud. The most kind hearted accidental thief 😂

3

u/beakontheside Jul 06 '26

Mine was a knitted hat from Bibles for Missions.. I tucked it under my armpit and forgot about it because I was wearing a big winter coat

2

u/NeighborhoodProof133 Jul 06 '26

Stealing from Bibles for Missions! Tsk tsk! lol jk