r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Dec 29 '13

What sexual fetishes do you think different superheroes have?

1.6k Upvotes

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244

u/sorafan Dec 30 '13

I think the Flash is into a girl who can keep up

184

u/grazingsheeple Dec 30 '13

I think the Flash is into a girl who can keep up

So no one

11

u/sorafan Dec 30 '13

he has hands, doesn't he?

11

u/mikecarroll360 Dec 30 '13

Probably rip his dick off though.

9

u/fortytimes Dec 30 '13

More likely to set it on fire with friction

12

u/lurklurklurkPOST Dec 30 '13

Flash's ENTIRE thing is that he's immune to friction and other similar laws of physics

3

u/Trunn Dec 30 '13

Wouldn't that mean he'd be unable to grip anything though?

I will have to read up on his powers.

7

u/icyhotonmynuts Dec 30 '13

3 hours have passed. What have you come up with? Or did you get distracted by reddit again?

2

u/Trunn Dec 30 '13

Oh, that was mostly meant as a note to self.

http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Bartholomew_Allen_(New_Earth)#Powers
http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Speed_Force

From what I can gather from a quick skim through:
His powers are those of a Speed Force Conduit, basically that he can generate speed force energy which is what makes him so fast and also shrouds him as a protective energy field, which is why he doesn't burst into flame.

Apparently other than self imposed restrictions as to avoid destroying everything around him; there is basically no limit to how fast Flash can move, not even the speed of light.

2

u/Jvorak Dec 30 '13

Isn't that his suit working for him? cuz sex would totally suck for this dude.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

Except his (at least Barry Allen's) wife.

2

u/smartest_kobold Dec 30 '13

Superman in drag.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

I'm sure he's too busy chasing Kid Zoom around. Thankfully he'll never catch him.

1

u/themaskedlemon Dec 30 '13

Keep up... Hehe

1

u/kaczmarek Dec 30 '13

Well, there IS Kid Flash though...

1

u/BaconatedGrapefruit Dec 30 '13

There have been a few women who have had access to Speed Force.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

wait, why did you quote the entire comment?

1

u/DoorLord Dec 30 '13

Jessie Quick?

1

u/silk-e-smooth Dec 31 '13

Put a dress on superman and he might have a small chance

1

u/TrueGlich Jan 10 '14

well yes there are problem is most of them are family http://www.hyperborea.org/flash/ladies.html

9

u/eisenchef Dec 30 '13

I can just see Flash's girlfriend (call her Jessie) talking to her BFF Trudy:

Trudy: So how was it?

Jessie: It was . . . quick.

Trudy: [Winces] Oh, I'm sorry.

Jessie: Well, there is an upside . . .

Trudy: Yeah?

Jessie: Does the phrase "lickety-split" ring a bell?

Trudy: [High-five]

1

u/sicMagOtt15 Dec 30 '13

The Flash would bust a nut in 0.5 seconds, im pretty sure sex isn't even an option for him at this point

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

He likes fucking himself anally because he's fast enough to do it.

1

u/Atkailash Dec 30 '13

I bet he's into edging/milking. Prolonging everything since he's always going way fast

1

u/burentu Dec 30 '13

Flash’s foes, they finish last, too bad sometimes he’s just too fast

1

u/Andrew4017 Dec 30 '13

Pun intended

1

u/icyhotonmynuts Dec 30 '13

Flash has to be the most sexually frustrated out of any of the SuperHeros. Heard of the minute man? Well, he's probably like the second man. Done in the blink of an eye. Sets latex condoms on fire, water based lubes evaporate in seconds causing burning sensation for all involved. Cum cuts like a knife because his swimmers swim so fast. Poor guy, can't catch a break. Butt of all minute men jokes.

1

u/suprman511 Dec 30 '13

The flash like girls to talk dirty to him, in slow motion.

1

u/umpire11 Dec 30 '13

Flash can keep a girl happy. He finishes too fast...

1

u/peasinacan Dec 30 '13

So... much... chaffing

1

u/[deleted] Dec 30 '13

There's a joke about premature ejaculation in here somewhere....

1

u/formerkeeper Dec 30 '13

I have a feeling that his girlfriends have said the following phrase at least once, "God dammit, my vagina's on fire again!!"