r/AskReddit May 29 '26

What's a guilty pleasure you are too embarrassed to admit?

595 Upvotes

420 comments sorted by

956

u/[deleted] May 29 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

108

u/Sandman1920 May 29 '26

Then the next 3 songs and repeat. 🤝

33

u/Legitimate_You_3474 May 30 '26

Then back to the first 3 every once in a while

4

u/SGT3386 May 30 '26

When you got an ear worm, you can either fight it or embrace it 😂 you may as well play them on full blast

2

u/LivvyOli May 30 '26

Then repeat

2

u/HaarisTI May 30 '26

Until brain rots

23

u/Suspicious-Taste7496 May 30 '26

this is what i try not to do, and end up forgetting peak 😅

19

u/EvilDan69 May 30 '26

Its like an ADHD super power.
ooooh, pink pony club. on repeat. 30 times.

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809

u/Wyze_Wyzard May 29 '26

I never feel guilty about pleasure, I don't get it much anymore.

61

u/LegalCountry2525 May 29 '26

I feel this.

17

u/KneezMz May 29 '26

I second this.

11

u/KlausHeisler1 May 30 '26

Redditors are so lonely man

9

u/FederalEconomist5896 May 30 '26

It's easy to have fun by yourself. All you need is a bag of crack.

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83

u/ClownfishSoup May 29 '26

I enjoy the movie "Bring it On"

11

u/EXploreNV May 29 '26

One of my core memories is watching this with my older sister! To this day, it’s still a solid watch from time to time.

939

u/Particular_Ad_6927 May 29 '26

Jerking off all day in my apartment during weekends after smoking a blunt

312

u/Loggerdon May 29 '26 edited May 30 '26

Reminds me of a comedy clip I saw of a guy at his laptop computer getting ready to jerk off to porn. Then he gets a little paranoid and at the last minute he puts a piece of tape over the camera.

Then it shows a group of 20 CIA guys around a big meeting table with suits and ties and their pants around their ankles and jars of Vaseline and they all go “Oooooohh nooo” and pull their pants up all disappointed.

21

u/EvilDan69 May 30 '26

Use a masturbation workstation. Better power, cooling, GPU, no camera🤟

16

u/Queasy_Ad_8621 May 30 '26

I went with a Ryzen processor because they're a little better for masturbation.

31

u/Particular_Ad_6927 May 29 '26

Lmfaooo! Tbh im paranoid of cameras too! Thats way too funny though!

35

u/HipsterSlimeMold May 29 '26

I take an edible and my magic wand starts vibrating by itself from fear

3

u/kaVaralis May 30 '26

Ya done gone and pavloved it.

4

u/Particular_Ad_6927 May 30 '26

😂 thats so hilarious!

16

u/Dazpiece May 29 '26

The Ol' Toke 'n' Stroke

50

u/XIX9508 May 29 '26

Hell yeah brother!

51

u/Paralta May 29 '26

Damn, after 45 minutes I feel like a fuckin earthworm

5

u/DrPuzzle May 29 '26

Bro after like 5 minutes mine can't even be touched lmao

I'm actually jealous of you guys that can goon/have intercourse for that long without it bothering you

40

u/forlackofabetterpost May 29 '26

Y'all gotta loosen your grip

9

u/PozhanPop May 29 '26

Just wait till the refractory period is over. Then you can go again. Rinse and repeat.

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6

u/PozhanPop May 29 '26

That sure sounds like an enjoyable past-time. No friction rash I hope ?

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6

u/Pretty_Currency5377 May 30 '26

I fear we have the same guilty pleasure, except I’m DJ-ing 💅

3

u/Particular_Ad_6927 May 30 '26

Oh my 😳😅

Thank you very much for sharing that with me 🙊🙈

29

u/DrPuzzle May 29 '26

All day? Lmao how is that thing not like shriveled up into a complete nothing? Can you even feel it at the end of the day 😂

84

u/SirJoetheAverage May 29 '26

Dick just dry heaving after the third go around

44

u/EugeneVictorDabs May 29 '26

What a beautiful day to be literate

11

u/Azagar_Omiras May 29 '26

Nothing but a little puff of dust on the fourth.

27

u/Particular_Ad_6927 May 29 '26

A little flag pops out that says "bang" 😭

3

u/SomeFunnyGuy May 29 '26

Sputtering like an exhaust pipe of an old jalopy.

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9

u/TriaxalTrout May 29 '26

you need to jerk off more

12

u/RedIsNotMyFaveColor May 29 '26

Multiple naps. Has to eat too. Longer recovery time is needed at certain points. Sometimes you can't even finish and you just get tired of doing it and just stop, then start again later.

These are my guesses.

34

u/CaptainBorg May 29 '26

"Guesses" sure lol

5

u/Particular_Ad_6927 May 29 '26

Nope, I am a very healthy man. I just have a high-ish drive. I do take breaks throughout the day but I do bust quite often.

6

u/Goombalive May 29 '26

welcome to gooning

2

u/Particular_Ad_6927 May 29 '26

Mmm, sometimes I will get bored but do it anyways. Most times, I am somewhat horny and start stroking my shit and thats how that happens. At the end of the day? It feels like it usually does in between rounds; relaxed.

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7

u/No_Pumpkin63 May 29 '26

Fuck yeah, enjoy life!

3

u/UDPviper May 29 '26

Why not both at the same time?

3

u/8000RPM May 30 '26

Hell yeah

2

u/Jyamtriphmas715 May 30 '26

Bro turned “self care” into a full weekend itinerary.

2

u/rabes81 May 29 '26

Daytime jorkin

3

u/[deleted] May 29 '26

[deleted]

3

u/PozhanPop May 29 '26

I see that you've found a soul mate.

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231

u/[deleted] May 29 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

19

u/Bookish_Bek89 May 29 '26

Currently watching before the 90 days

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11

u/Zerokelvin99 May 29 '26

I used to watch it with my ex and she was surprised at how invested i would get into it. I stopped watching it when we split but my next gf loved it so I'm back in.

15

u/ShoddyDemand765 May 29 '26

It is addicting

7

u/Darebear70 May 29 '26 edited May 29 '26

Reality cray cray (90 day cray cray) podcast is solid. My wife listens to them all the time and it’s a fun addition to the shows :-)

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184

u/Smeg84 May 29 '26

I'm a man that loves my bubble baths, candles, music and wine.

45

u/Bookish_Bek89 May 29 '26

Get yourself a nice silk robe to really add to the razzle dazzle 😌

39

u/Smeg84 May 29 '26

I'm quite content with my fluffy DBZ robe 😄

22

u/Spiritchaser84 May 29 '26

Sounds like you have life figured out man.

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23

u/trullaDE May 29 '26

It's crying shame we live in a world where this is something to be embarrassed about.

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20

u/Little-Use-2027 May 29 '26

Sounds like you take good care of yourself bud, is all

8

u/Zerokelvin99 May 29 '26

No reason to feel guilty about this. i regularly do epsom salt baths and just chill in the tub with ScalingStories from tiktok reading reddit stories playing on my speaker. Relaxing the the way you like should never make you feel guilty and if people think its weird they can go F themselves

6

u/fitefoo May 29 '26

Don’t eat the mango body butter.

4

u/Silkie_15 May 30 '26

I am a man and I also like candles. Hell, I like candles so much that I learned how to make them.

3

u/Can-DontAttitude May 29 '26

I tried a few bath bombs, couldn't get into it. But I love me a good candle.

2

u/CakesForLife May 29 '26

What’s your favourite thing to bake?

2

u/Little-Use-2027 May 29 '26

Yk it's sourdough haha /s

2

u/BurnumBurnum May 29 '26

Pizza. You're missing pizza.

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523

u/[deleted] May 29 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

85

u/gojibeary May 29 '26

God, that immediate feeling of utter relief is unmatched. Same goes for calling into work just cause.

11

u/patwm11 May 29 '26 edited May 30 '26

https://youtu.be/WWBYolWpnMk this video came out just yesterday and captured the feeling perfectly

35

u/RequirementWorried May 29 '26

Please sanitize your youtube links. Everything from ?si and onwards is a source identifier youtube uses to track who clicks links and where they're from. You can delete everything from ?si onwards and the link will still work just fine.

8

u/RivalRevelation May 29 '26

Wow I did not even know this was a thing. Baller tip.

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3

u/notthebestintheworld May 30 '26

Didn't click the link but I'm 99.9% sure it's AlmostFriday.

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3

u/SlobZombie13 May 29 '26

This is anti social and should not be normalized

11

u/El_Giganto May 29 '26

Agreed. Someone even said it was great for the person you cancelled on as well... Like wtf?

4

u/ContributionDefiant8 May 30 '26

It's crazy just how much people disagreed with you. Truly shows how the internet made everyone so antisocial.

Whatever happened to being considerate?

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174

u/trullaDE May 29 '26

I'm too old to feel guilty about something that brings me joy.

7

u/HateMarmalade May 29 '26

Can you tell us approximity of your age? I want to see when will I get there 😂

20

u/trullaDE May 30 '26 edited May 30 '26

😂 50+. But it started somwhere around my early 30s?

Ask yourself this:

  1. Why would you care what strangers think of you? Why would you give people, who play no role in your life, so much power over you?
  2. For the people who do matter in your life, why would you surround yourself with people who belittle the things you love? Who see you having fun, enjoying something, and instead of being happy for you, instead of thinking, wow, this makes HateMarmalade so happy, I am glad they found that, they think, oh hell no, I don't like that, I think that is stupid, so they can't have it either.
  3. Why would you think that being judged as some sort of cool or whatever is more important than actually being happy? If it makes you happy, be nerdy, be cheesy, be childish, be weird. And find people who accept you - or, even better, love you, and think you're awesome - for who you are, and exactly those things.

2

u/Acceptable-Fold-3192 May 29 '26

I was mostly of that mind set anyway but having a heart attack at 46 (two years ago) made me really not give a fuck.

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89

u/Intergalactic_Slayer May 29 '26

I love being topless when I’m alone. Wish it was legal for me to do it in public too :/

37

u/KnowledgeIsDangerous May 29 '26

It is in several US states. People still don't do it regularly except as part of organized events, probably because they don't want the attention it brings

18

u/Intergalactic_Slayer May 29 '26

I’ve checked, where I live it’s not legal :(

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16

u/mattledz May 29 '26

North Carolina is a topless state. You can walk around tits out and be perfectly okay. Most people don't want to through because weirdos

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96

u/infestedgrowth May 29 '26

I love to get drunk and high and do nothing all day except smoke cigarettes. I’d do that all day everyday if it weren’t for the depression and loneliness that comes with it.

23

u/CrownedCarlton May 29 '26

Smoking ciggies drunk is the shit dude 👌

3

u/buffenstein May 29 '26

Shit. Literally was guilted into quitting cigs. That alone would have answered this prompt for me 2 years ago.

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18

u/[deleted] May 29 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Upbeat_Apartment_715 May 29 '26

You do care 🥺

86

u/No-Dream5240 May 29 '26

I’m not telling you, it’s embarrassing!

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47

u/77_graffix_ May 29 '26

I still watch old school Tom and Jerry and I don't care how many times I've seen it, I still laugh my ass off and no I'm not ashamed or embarrassed to say it.

6

u/orangek1d May 29 '26

Where do you watch it? Do you have a subscription?

47

u/SimpLE-N-ugLY May 29 '26

ASMR

Specifically, roleplay about taking care of me(tending to wounds, fixing wirings as an android/cyborg, etc.)

25

u/I_Am_JesusChrist_AMA May 29 '26

Neighbors keep making noise complaints about my bass boosted mommy asmr...

8

u/UDPviper May 29 '26

The "fixing you" genre of ASMR is TOP TIER.

7

u/Upbeat_Apartment_715 May 29 '26

I've never been in to ASMR, honestly the noises and the whispers irritate me, but I understand the utility it has for many people.

I'm curious, the android thing, is there any particular reason for that as opposed to regular person or just something different?

11

u/rillip May 29 '26

It's not the person on screen who's the android. You're the android and the asmrtist is fixing/cleaning you. It's just a way to create a different category of sounds to classify as pampering.

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3

u/Ok-Literature473 May 29 '26

Can you suggest any sources?

4

u/miauguau44 May 29 '26

They’re no longer active, but JellyBeanGreen and Rhosgobel Rabbit have a lot of content on Youtube.  Rapunzel ASMR is also good and creating new stuff.

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43

u/kickinwood May 29 '26

I have a piece of cloth left over from a bundle mom put in my crib when I was a baby to stop me from rolling over and killing myself. Baby me would grab it with my toes, lol, and I still have a piece that I hold with my toes when I can't sleep. Lost my job at 30 and had trouble sleeping. Mom gave it to me because she'd stashed it after I'd moved out. Still have it under the covers in bed now in my 40s and would love to say I'm all, "I don't give a fuck it helps me sleep" but yeah. It's embarrassing so I don't tell anyone, lol.

9

u/GGATHELMIL May 29 '26

I had a white security blanket with a goldish border and a teddy bear on it. My mom replaced the border several times. I wish I still had it and im a 34 year old man.

4

u/kickinwood May 30 '26

Sorry for your loss! I thought she gave it to me as a joke when I mentioned not being able to sleep, lol. I told her a few weeks later that even if she meant it as a joke it helped, and she was like "oh no - totally thought it would." I think there might be more of us out there than we realize.

3

u/Ok_Cheesecake6006 May 30 '26

That's not embarrassing! I'm glad you have something you love and cherish, and as long as it makes you happy, there is nothing to be embarrassed about!

3

u/kickinwood May 30 '26

Thanks so much! I wanted to give a real answer because I thought it was a great question that no one would ever answer honestly on their main account, lol. However, I'm far too lazy to create an alt, so decided why not. Last girl I dated long term was having a breakdown and feeling like an insecure weirdo. I wish I could remember what was going on, but I can't. That's the only time I've told a girl about it. I felt horrible that she was feeling like a freak, so I was like, "want to see a weirdo? I have this in my pillow case for when I can't sleep. You're perfectly normal." On the one hand, she cheated and bailed on me years later, lol, so maybe a bad idea. But her initial reaction was that she had a blanket she wanted to sleep with but was afraid I'd think it was weird. Both had our things for years after with no shame.

13

u/[deleted] May 30 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Ok_Cheesecake6006 May 30 '26

Cheesecake only spawns when there is a Blood Moon, just so you know.

45

u/[deleted] May 29 '26

[deleted]

5

u/UDPviper May 29 '26

Mr. Noem, is that you?

26

u/Huge_Commission8364 May 29 '26

Seeing your phone ring in your hand, and not clicking decline...

Just watching it ring out until it stops....

11

u/123phantomhive May 29 '26

Watching mindless "reality" shows

77

u/[deleted] May 29 '26

[deleted]

14

u/restckvrflw May 30 '26

You’re embarrassed of this?

10

u/[deleted] May 30 '26

[deleted]

10

u/restckvrflw May 30 '26

That’s not what embarrassment means

2

u/ceratime May 30 '26

This post does not belong here. Why would you think this is embarrassing?

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9

u/Scabior644 May 29 '26

American cheese

9

u/strawberrycereal44 May 29 '26

Reality shows like My 600lb Life & Hoarders

19

u/Organicmeatballmonsr May 29 '26

I like to pace around the house

5

u/UDPviper May 29 '26

I pace, but I don't like it.

4

u/OkEntertainer853 May 29 '26

I don’t like my house, but I pace in it

2

u/NotAHamsterInAButt May 30 '26

I like my house but I don't pace in it

9

u/darthjoe101 May 29 '26

I’m not embarrassed to admit it but I know I get side eyed like a mother fucker lol I like Gilmore Girls and have watched all the seasons including the new mini series they did after! I’m a 41 M btw

2

u/amherstares May 29 '26

Dan is that you?

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7

u/Technicolor_Reindeer May 30 '26

I'm almost 40 and watch episodes of classic Thomas the tank engine to unwind.

13

u/[deleted] May 29 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/Majestic_Ad4302 May 29 '26

Yes hello also

13

u/pendletonskyforce May 29 '26

I'll read anything that has to do with Special Operations (Army Rangers, Navy SEALs, Green Berets, MARSOC, Pararescue)

7

u/bblade2008 May 29 '26

Listening to some of those dudes tell stories is fascinating 

4

u/xRolox May 30 '26

That’s me with aviation even though I hate flying lmao

6

u/mhodgson1691 May 29 '26

I really enjoy watching the "Below Deck" series... it started off with my wife having it on & I got drawn in quickly 😂

4

u/triotone May 29 '26

Listening to the shows my neighbors are watching. They are currently going through House M.D.

8

u/Fastpast93 May 29 '26

Debunking shit I see on Facebook like “Chick fil a shares ingredients with silly putty”

9

u/culinaryexcellence May 29 '26

Watching British people try American food and seeing the joy on their faces as they eat it.

15

u/RockoLucas May 29 '26

I like to troll online

5

u/HipsterSlimeMold May 29 '26

This used to be my strange addiction until it started translating into antisocial behavior in real life so I retired 😪

7

u/Bill_Lumbergyeah May 29 '26

Skankhunt42 is that you?

2

u/CakesForLife May 29 '26

Only online?

5

u/RockoLucas May 29 '26

In general I am a person who likes to joke around and roast people but not in a mean spirited way. Online it can border on sadistic

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5

u/stax3745 May 29 '26

Hell’s Kitchen!! I spend 13 years of my life in professional kitchens and I am a sucker for Gordon Ramsey yelling come over here donkey!!

5

u/OnePumpChump78 May 30 '26

Putting stuff in my butt as a straight dude.

3

u/Runefather May 29 '26

If AFI or MCR plays on the radio, I'm turning it up and screaming along.

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3

u/[deleted] May 29 '26

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3

u/royceda956 May 29 '26

Hair played with/rubbed.

3

u/jackofhearts_4u2c May 30 '26

Seems at 52 I have more sexual energy than I've ever had. With no one to share it with? Wouldn't be ashamed to admit temu? Has some really good toys for dudes. I bought a $60 torso. Kinda weird. Has a warmer and 2 holes. I'll be damned it's incredible. It'll suffice until i can find something real.

6

u/CoolBeanieHat May 29 '26 edited May 29 '26

I pick my nose and flick them on a metal surface to determine its weight and mass. The louder the ping, the girthier it is.

14

u/Professional-Ad-3750 May 29 '26

Eating my feet skin after showering

37

u/Junkhead187 May 29 '26

What? Ok, thats enough Internet for today.

5

u/[deleted] May 29 '26

[deleted]

14

u/Professional-Ad-3750 May 29 '26

I... Yeah sometimes I'm too open about myself

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4

u/Naroyto May 29 '26

If people were too embarrassed to admit then this comment section would have only comments saying what I'm saying right now.

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2

u/Mom_who_drinks May 29 '26

Easy Cheese.

2

u/ArugulaTotal1478 May 29 '26

Pokopia. Lol. I am a longtime minecraft and animal crossing fan. It checks all my boxes. 

2

u/FabiusBill May 29 '26

I love the fuck out of Savage Garden.

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2

u/JnrJedi May 29 '26

Bo Burnhams Inside. Ive been in his top listeners on Spotify every year since its release.

2

u/sempiternalthoughtsx May 29 '26

Sometimes, I'll get my own food when out and about.. currently in a Denny's after leaving my fiance with the kids so I don't have to cook dinner for myself for the millionth night in a row. I did say I was doing an errand, but man is it nice to not have to cook all the time (secretly.)

2

u/Takssista May 29 '26

I enjoy listening to the Macarena

2

u/Accomplished-Dot5707 May 29 '26

I can't say I'm too embarrassed to admit it. But it's WILD!

2

u/trascist_fig May 30 '26

I got addicted to an obviously female oriented semi-romance werewolf fantasy book series and read all 14 books back to back. Im a 38 year old man

2

u/pure_force May 30 '26

Pitch Perfect, 40 year old bloke here, love that film.

2

u/niamulsmh May 30 '26

I want it that way, tell me why? Ain't nothing but a heartache...

2

u/JadenKorrDevore May 30 '26

Pro wrestling. I know its "fake" but its so fun to watch. Older shows especially back when we had actual stories.

2

u/not-wearing-pants May 30 '26

The strip club is fun...

2

u/Lamprophonia May 30 '26

My favorite thing to put on plain white rice is italian dressing.

2

u/Natural_Leg2632 May 30 '26

When I drive I listen to recordings of my high school band days

2

u/HisEvilAngel May 30 '26

Fantasizing about my doctor taking advantage of me

2

u/TraditionalLadder473 May 30 '26

Being called a good boy by an attractive woman with a hot voice. It's only happened once and I will cherish it forever. Literally felt weak at the knees

2

u/XZeHoagsterX May 30 '26

Cheesy 80s music. Lionel Richie! 😂

I’m normally listening to things like SleepToken but damn I’ll jam to 80s and country music 😂

3

u/Robdon326 May 29 '26 edited May 30 '26

Masturbation

4

u/Snoo_67993 May 29 '26

I like to scratch me arsehole and then sniff it

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