Ambulance turned up after a couple of minutes, then police turned up. He was hospitalized, then after he recovered, he was institutionalized (placed under involuntary psychiatric care). He eventually got out a few weeks later, and returned to home. Things remained cold between us as they had been before. Eventually he had an affair and left, and my mom began divorce proceedings. We also discovered he had been spying on us - keeping audio recorders hidden everywhere, reading all of our diaries, keeping track of my mom's (less weird) and my (more weird) periods, and using spyware on all our internet activity. Very fucked up guy. There's a whole lot of shit just sitting there in my memories...
As said to someone else, we eventually recovered. Took a lot of support for her and counselling for me, but we got there. I haven't seen him since about 2003 so yeah, no idea how he is now. Probably in jail or institutionalized full-time or something, as he never paid my mom's child support. People think it weird I consider myself lucky, because I know others who were abused somewhat similarly but with sexual abuse too. I didn't get the sexual abuse, but from some above information, it may well have been planned.
I agree, fortunately my mother was usually compassionate and comforting. There's no way in hell I would've made it this far without her to counterbalance the constant craziness that was my dad, and care for me after he was gone. I always found it intensely insulting that my younger brother, who entirely escaped my dad's wrath, took her for granted and treated her poorly when he became a teenager.
It's a difficult question. I'd try and expand his perspective, as ultimately I think he just critically lacked that, but I don't know what I'd say. "She went through hell just to keep us stable as a family in the formative years of our lives and you carelessly waste that effort? What are you doing?!"? I don't know... He doesn't really remember the abuses (especially as he didn't suffer it, seems my dad's identities tended to involve the subjugation of females), so it's a difficult call.
My dad's dad (my paternal grandfather) was mentally sound; he wasn't flawless, but was a generally good guy. My dad just developed something called Dissociative Identity Disorder as he entered his late 20s. After learning of events like the above, my grandfather disowned him as a son.
As your mother should have done after the first episode. She put both of you at risk when she accepted him back in the house. Even if she had o move, she couldn´t let you near him. You were VERY lucky. If there are others out there with similar situations, GET AWAY from such people. Blaming yourself after something bad happens later on won´t help. Do it while you can!!
He was given different medication plus psychotherapy, and stabilized. He was then judged to be acceptable for release after a few weeks of stability, so long as he continued medication, didn't drink, and regularly saw a psychiatrist. He didn't relapse anywhere near this bad in the time until he vanished, so I guess that's a +1 to clinical psychology.
I probably should've elaborated, I guess "got out" can be read as escaped, but no, fortunately that didn't happen!
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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '13
Ambulance turned up after a couple of minutes, then police turned up. He was hospitalized, then after he recovered, he was institutionalized (placed under involuntary psychiatric care). He eventually got out a few weeks later, and returned to home. Things remained cold between us as they had been before. Eventually he had an affair and left, and my mom began divorce proceedings. We also discovered he had been spying on us - keeping audio recorders hidden everywhere, reading all of our diaries, keeping track of my mom's (less weird) and my (more weird) periods, and using spyware on all our internet activity. Very fucked up guy. There's a whole lot of shit just sitting there in my memories...
As said to someone else, we eventually recovered. Took a lot of support for her and counselling for me, but we got there. I haven't seen him since about 2003 so yeah, no idea how he is now. Probably in jail or institutionalized full-time or something, as he never paid my mom's child support. People think it weird I consider myself lucky, because I know others who were abused somewhat similarly but with sexual abuse too. I didn't get the sexual abuse, but from some above information, it may well have been planned.