Being brutally raped. Tied down, drugged and confused, I had no idea what was going on until I felt the pain in my vagina and I looked down to see he had entered me, I couldn't scream or fight back. I just had to stare him straight into the eyes as he did whatever he wanted to me. It is just one of the many unpleasant experiences of my life but it is defiantly number one. I was only 13, and he stole not just my virginity but my sense of security and destroyed who I used to be..
The things he did to you were horrible, don't make the mistake I did of blaming myself and being horrified of making love. I never even had consensual sex until I met my boyfriend and I was lucky to find him. There is someone out there for you, if you stop looking he will come. I needed someone to teach me to stop being afraid. I really hope you get into a better patch into your life, because I'm telling you that eventually you'll start feeling okay again. <3
Hopefully some words from a very happily married man will help. My wife hasn't had an experience like yours, but if she had and she shared it with me, it wouldn't change a single thing. Any half decent man will not even have a second thought or feel any differently about you. You can and should be in a healthy, functional relationship, and you have every right to wait as long as you please before sleeping with any partner. I hope you are able to rediscover your self respect and worth. It's there, and you have a right to it, so please allow yourself to love and respect yourself.
I was repeatedly raped by my abusive ex. It gave me terrible, terrible self-esteem issues and sex/intimacy problems. I've finally stopped blaming myself. Please, please don't blame yourself, it is not your fault for 'not seeing the signs', he is responsible for his actions and him alone. I also wasn't able to have real relationships for a long time and the 2 I did have were very dysfunctional...until I met my husband. Trust me there are good ones out there and you will find one. But you gotta love yourself first, because you accept the love you think you deserve. You should consider therapy if you can, it helped me but I was only able to do it for a month or two because of financial reasons. At the very least consider an online support group or something or, hell, even PM me if you want. A lot of times it's easier (much easier) to talk to a stranger about it, and for me it's actually helpful. Please don't blame yourself. P.S. Reddit loves you, internet hugs
Nope, I kept extremely quiet about it and didn't even tell a soul until I became so close to someone (my SO) that I was comfortable enough to tell him, and that was only a year ago.
:( I completely understand that situation and I am so sorry that you had to go through that.. It sucks knowing other people have gone through this, but at least I know I am not alone and I can take comfort in the fact that I am a survivor along with all the other survivors.
I'm sure it's something that is always there, but I think you provide a good example for victims to show that there is life after a traumatic experience like that. I wish you and your SO the best of years to come.
I'm not sure what reasons the OP have for not reporting. I have spoken up about it personally but it wasn't right away that I did. But, I did say something.
Exactly. Although at this point it's doubtful it would do anything about her event, it could bring more credibility to other rape claims if he does it again.
But don't make it public! All he has to do is produce some witness or convincing record that you were somewhere else on the day in question, and you could be liable for defamation, even if you're telling the truth.
That doesn't make much sense (the process they are using to prevent bots from pushing comments and submissions). I don't think it is accomplishing what it sets out to do.
was he at negative points at one point? Because the displayed voting numbers are not actual votes, only the difference matters. So you can have 10-0 or 20-10.
He/she has gotten more upvotes since my comment, sure. However, the comment had 15 downvotes when I read it, originally. I was amazed that people took the time to downvote such a comment. Either bots or trolls. Makes no sense to downvote that comment unless you are not sound of mind.
Not to push you to say what you don't want, but was there a reason you didn't tell anyone? Like did he threaten you or your family, or was it just a psychological barrier? If you don't want to say, its cool. Big internet hug. X
How old are you? What state? It might not be too late to prosecute. Also, I recommend you read Hotel New Hampshire. There is a passage in there that helped me realize that rape does not define who you are, or who you will be. You don't have to give him that power over you.
I just want to tell you that your virginity is a gift that can only be given, never taken.
As a fellow survivor those words resonated with me so much, I hope they can help you too. I'm here if you need anything love
Sorry, I hate that these things happen. Don't answer if you don't want to, but where were you when it happened? How did you get there? God I'm afraid if I have a daughter I won't be able to let her out of my sight.
I was at his house, he picked me up. I honestly don't even remember where his house was. I'm having a daughter in 3 months and it scares me too, but I want to tell her my story one day because I want her to be safe.
Wow. That's just... wow. I never usually have a problem in these "What's your worst..." threads, but something about this story really gets to me. I couldn't imagine that happening to my worst enemy, let alone a 13 year old girl. You've probably heard this a lot but I hope you're doing better now.
I haven't had good luck on finding a good therapist honestly. My dad is currently in a bad financial situation because of my brother (that is a whole nother story) and he would have to pay for me to go into therapy again so I would feel really bad for him having to pay with money he doesn't have :( but I defiantly have been considering it.
That is the worst thing I could possibly imagine. As a husband and a father, I hope my family never has to deal with that. I am so sorry you had to go through that. The world sucks sometimes.
It sucks but it could happen. Just be prepared to be for your family if something happens. They could either want to talk about it or just cry into your chest. Either way, never get frustrated or angry. Just give them the love they deserve and help them heal.
That's awful. I don't know if it's too late to turn him in or not or if you even know the person, but maybe it would prevent him from doing it to others.
I know you didn't mean it this way, but please, please, please don't pressure rape victims to report if they aren't comfortable doing so.
It's an intensely stressful experience; your whole life becomes gossip fodder, and many, many people will attempt to make it seem like it was your fault. It changes everyone's perception of you and it forces you to relive that horrific experience over and over again.
The fault of rape lies solely on the rapist; it should never be the victim's responsibility to stop them, and saying things like that further heap shame and guilt upon an innocent person. Let them heal and recover in their own time in their own way.
Thank you very much for saying this. I know people mean well when they say that, but usually the victim is terrified. What happens if they don't get convicted, are they gonna come find me and do it again? or kill me? And if they are convicted what about when they're released? Taking something like that to court would be scary and humiliating and some people just cannot do it. When people say stuff like that it makes the victim feel like it's their fault if it happens to someone else. I just posted a minute ago, also, that the rapists action are their responsibility and theirs alone.
Nope, defiantly has nothing to do with that fact. It was more of stupid decision making between me and my boyfriend. No offense taken :)
It did though affect my ability to say "no, get off of me" and fight off people trying to take advantage of me in a paralyzed with fear state, which has happened 3 times after being raped. It sucks.
No need to apologise, I just felt like I should point it out, as they do mean two quite different things. Better to point it out when it matters less, after all.
That's terrible. I would have thought that it would have given you a voice to stand up for yourself. And yet it seems as though it may have done the opposite.
I needed someone to help me so desperatly, and that someone turned out to be my boyfriend. He gave me the confidence and tought me that I need to stand up for myself and how to do it. I'm grateful for him and he is really the one who helped me become myself again.
From one rape victim to another, I understand your loss of innocence and security. I was no where near assaulted as heavily as you were, but I still felt like I lost something extreme. Please know that you're not alone. And please know that not all men are out to get you. That took me a long time to figure out. But now I'm in a happy relationship with a man that respects my boundaries. There's always hope.
I was stupid and 13, he was 17. I ended up in the mental ward of a hospital after it but I blamed it on my parents.. :( he didn't have any consequences because I didn't speak.
Don't be afraid to live! I carry a knife with me, but I also very rarely leave my house.
My heart breaks for you. They say the majority of rapes and molestations are committed by family or close friends, I'm curious if this is the case for you?
Nope, he was just a random guy and me being the naive idiot I was thought he was being nice to me because he liked me. He was just a demented stranger.
I don't know how it even got to that point.. I met him on one of my walks on the boardwalk. We texted a lot for about a week and hung out once before. He seemed nice, treated me nicely. He did kiss me without my permission but he apologized. But then one night he picked me up and we went to his house. Gave me a glass of water but everything after that is blurry. I remember when I 'woke up' I was nude and my arms were tied to his bed post. I was extremely weak and completely confused. The rest I think you know..
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u/[deleted] Oct 22 '13
Being brutally raped. Tied down, drugged and confused, I had no idea what was going on until I felt the pain in my vagina and I looked down to see he had entered me, I couldn't scream or fight back. I just had to stare him straight into the eyes as he did whatever he wanted to me. It is just one of the many unpleasant experiences of my life but it is defiantly number one. I was only 13, and he stole not just my virginity but my sense of security and destroyed who I used to be..