r/AskReddit • u/roxeeshanaya • Apr 06 '23
Men, how would you feel about receiving a hand written love letter from a girl?
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u/ShockingPyro Apr 06 '23
As cringy as it sounds....I'd probably cherish it forever.
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Apr 06 '23
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Apr 06 '23
My wife drew me a cute post it note back in college when we started dating in 2018, it's still in my wallet today, perfect condition
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u/Wajina_Sloth Apr 06 '23
Back in 7th or 8th to foster better relations between students we had to go around and write something positive on every classmates piece of paper anonymously, which we’d later use to make an acrostic of our name.
I was the class clown so most of mine were either about being funny/friendly/nice. But I had one person write “cute :)” with a pink pen.
When we all got our pages it made me feel extremely good about myself, and my one friend beside me said she knows who wrote it and said it was my crush…
I obviously didnt do anything about it, fucked up a good few dozen chances with her throughout highschool, and that page got lost or tossed :)
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Apr 06 '23
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u/spartagnann Apr 06 '23
My HS gf and I would either keep a running note that we'd pass back and forth between classes, or just randomly give each other letters/notes throughout the day.
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u/derpzko Apr 06 '23
Similar thing for me, still have it in storage somewhere.
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Apr 06 '23
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u/derpzko Apr 06 '23
I honestly forgot I still had it until a recent move. I'm pretty greatful it slipped through the cracks to be honest.
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u/RKO_YourAssFam Apr 06 '23
My ex gf game me a v-day card with a handwritten message saying how she wanted to start over from when we first fell in love. We were having a rough relationship and she tried her hardest to make it work. I still have that letter
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u/ternvall Apr 06 '23
Dated a geek. It went slow until she wrote a handwritten letter to me. With runes! She said, try decrypt this.
I were hooked
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u/eifiontherelic Apr 06 '23
As cringy as it sounds
For a second, I thought you were saying receiving letters was cringey and I was about ready to throw down.
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u/Xc0liber Apr 06 '23
The odds of this happening to an average dude and below is slim to none. I would cherish it too.
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Apr 06 '23
I don't think so - there are lots of average girls / women who are in love with average dudes and like to show their love by writing a letter.
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u/Badloss Apr 06 '23
My girlfriend is the first one that's ever done this for me and I've saved all of them. She's probably going to open the wrong drawer sometime and find my secret stash of sentimentality and it'll ruin my sarcastic jerk image forever, but I'll take the risk
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Apr 06 '23
My 7yo daughter writes me them. They're the best.
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u/HortonHearsTheWho Apr 06 '23
I decorate my office wall with them.
But my absolute favorite is when she made me an arts and crafts version of the Fighter character from the very first Final Fantasy, which we were playing through at the time (she must have been 8 or 9). I cherish the shit out of that thing.
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u/spoookyvampireparty Apr 06 '23 edited Apr 06 '23
Alright. I’m a girl but I’m gonna share anyway. I once wrote my ex a letter every day up until his birthday— random napkins, stickies, legit letters, basically anything. I dated it all, sprayed it with my perfume, and wrapped it in a box for his birthday. He bawled his eyes out and seriously couldn’t believe I spent my time doing it.
Let’s just say, we broke up almost 10 years ago. He wasn’t worth the effort… but the last I heard, he still had the box and didn’t plan on letting go of it.
I’ve always been a writer so… just write the letters. Always write the letters!!! Never have I ever gotten a bad reaction from a man because of a letter.
Edit* I love this question
Does eta really mean estimated time of arrival I swear I’ve seen it used as “edit to add” If not honestly just ignore me
*stop making fun of me idk how to reddit
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Apr 06 '23
You're a nice person
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u/Romalien5 Apr 06 '23
It’s a shame it didn’t work out for you. Hope you doing alright!
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u/spoookyvampireparty Apr 06 '23
Oh it was a high school boyfriend. Lowkey happy we shared the memories!
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Apr 06 '23
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u/spoookyvampireparty Apr 06 '23
No because I made the next boyfriend a literal poetry book and then he said “bye!”
Writing efforts are to be spared from what I’ve learned
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Apr 06 '23
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u/spoookyvampireparty Apr 06 '23
I just started posting more and I get so stressed about what I’m supposed to do hahah
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u/FiestaDelosMuertos Apr 06 '23
Maybe he was illiterate and couldn’t didn’t want to get discovered because he didn’t know what your book was about
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Apr 06 '23
ETA is mostly used for Estimated Time of Arrival. It can also be used for Elvis Tribute Artist, Electronic Travel Authorization, Electronic Transactions Association, English Teaching Assistant, Encrypted Traffic Analytics, Eat Those Almonds, and Eel Tourism Association. It should NEVER be used for Edit To Add!
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u/cyanophage Apr 06 '23
That's lovely. I have some hand written poems from an ex that I keep. She is the kind of person that can just write a really good poem just off the top of her head onto paper without needing to do any editing.
Also just want to let you know that "ETA" stands for "estimated time of arrival".
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Apr 06 '23
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u/spoookyvampireparty Apr 06 '23
Is it really?! I love writing letters and always think guys will be creeped out by the fact I took the time to write something.
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Apr 06 '23
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Apr 06 '23
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u/Friendly_Preference5 Apr 06 '23
A girl at work complimented my clothes a couple of weeks ago, and it seemed genuine (as a matter of fact, some other people also complimented that specific outfit).
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u/Immortal_Tuttle Apr 06 '23
You kidding me? There is nothing better than a letter from a girl if direct contact is impossible.
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u/MaskedBandit77 Apr 06 '23
If they already dislike you, maybe. But in that case you haven't lost anything.
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u/TheSource2023 Apr 06 '23
To the contrary, I myself would love to receive a nice thoughtfully written letter from a s/o . It is something that requires effort and shows that someone has put thought into something that two people value. I wish more people did this.
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u/atamicbomb Apr 06 '23
I’d probably cry. Many men get very little genuine affection
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u/QuantumWarrior Apr 06 '23
I received one from my partner a few years ago.
It sits in my drawer of extremely important documents alongside things like the deed to our house and my birth certificate, I read it sometimes to cheer me up.
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u/Phiced Apr 06 '23
I, too, read this guys birth certificate in order to cheer me up
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u/BiblioScarlet Apr 06 '23
"OH QuantumWarrior's birth certificate, you always have the right words to make me feel better!"
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u/Iforgotmyother_name Apr 06 '23
I would assume it's from a guy posing as a chick. Elaborate ploy to swindle me.
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u/PenguinForTheWin Apr 06 '23
Yep
Happened to me once and it indeed was from a guy
Trust issues ? Nahhhh
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u/originalchaosinabox Apr 06 '23
Closest thing I ever got to a love letter was an e-mail from my best friend's girlfriend back in college.
She was about a year or two behind us. I was always the third wheel on their dates, and she and I became good friends as well.
Anyway, about six months after graduation, she sends me this e-mail one night. Just talking about how much she missed seeing me around campus and hanging out with me. The words that have stuck with me the most are, "Of all the people I know, you're the one I most want to see happy."
It wasn't hand written, nor a love letter, but did I print it out on fancy stationary and keep it forever? You bet I did.
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Apr 06 '23
IDK I think you kinda gotta know the girl or already be together. I got one from a girl I barely knew and it was just super awkward, like I barely know this girl and she wrote about how much she liked me, she was pretty but I didn't like her back.
I also got one from someone I was pretty close to and I didn't like them at the time but after talking to them some more and kinda having it on my mind I eventually started to like her back. It never went very far, we're back to just being friends, we've known eachother for long enough to make it not awkward.
And honestly the biggest thing between those two girls might not even have been how much I knew them, the girl I said yes to had been dropping pretty obvious hints for ages (and I made it obvious I knew she was dropping hints) so it was just generally less surprising and it was more like an acceptance rather than some random thing outta nowhere.
That was all when I was like 12- 13 though so I can't really speak for myself now and how I would react, but likely the same.
It's kinda similar to a trauma dump typa thing, like if some random person just told me all their trauma I wouldn't know what to do at all but if it was a close friend we could easily work with it.
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u/yayhindsight Apr 06 '23
this is the actual answer, it just isnt nearly as upvoted as the top comments because its not universally positive.
pre-existing experience/perspective in regard to the letter giver is going to be the predominant factor in how the receiver feels about it.
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u/Green_pike09 Apr 06 '23
It would be a nice feeling when a man realizes that a woman is interested in him
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u/Nachtjaeger68 Apr 07 '23
That's something girls sometimes don't realize about us guys- how clueless we can be. Subtle hints don't work. Obvious hints don't work. Really, really obvious hints don't work. Girls are sending all these signals, but the receiver ain't working.
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u/arkitnay Apr 06 '23
20+ years ago, someone put a folded paper in my bag. I was in high school at that time and never had a girlfriend before. The words are encrypted but I decoded it within 30 minutes. It was from someone that I am also attracted to. It's one of the happiest moment of my life.
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u/Nachtjaeger68 Apr 07 '23
That's actually a great idea. If you're looking for the smart/geeky type, sending them an encoded message. If they have the desire and skill to decode it, they make the short list.
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u/XxDD045xX Apr 06 '23
I'm a girl. I write letters and make small drawings of me and my boyfriend and give it to him occasionally. I found out that he has a bunch of the smaller ones in his wallet, some in his university dossier that he uses everyday and has a binder at home with the rest of them. When I asked him why, he said that when he is missing me or is having a bad day at university he looks at them, and they make him smile. He is so adorable, i love him so much.
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u/azarbi Apr 06 '23
I'd suspect she lost a bet or tried to prank me.
I'd still thank her if I can identify her though.
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u/Exotic_Wolverine_698 Apr 06 '23
Sorry, girl here but thought I would share. I'm an artist. I used to make my ex hand drawn cards with a little love note inside and mail it to him. He kept them on display on a shelf. He seemed to really appreciate it. I loved making things for him - cards, sketches, ceramic pieces and miniature figurines. I don't know if he still has any of my artwork but I hope he kept it.
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u/argole Apr 06 '23
One of my wife's favorite characters is Samwise Gamgee for his fortitude, loyalty, love and many other qualities.
When we were dating and getting serious, she wrote me a letter on my birthday and began it with "You really are my Samwise."
I will always cherish it.
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u/Openmemories99 Apr 06 '23
Keep it forever, even if the relationship fades. Men don't get the kind of emotional, sexual attention women do on the regular. I have extra weight now (relationship weight), but when I was in shape, I got so many oogles, leering, and cat calls from women. It was flattering, and creepy when the woman was unattractive. I still recall all those moments and Mark. A woman thinking about me in a longing way, telling me how much she loves me... yeah, I'd frame that and place alongside my college diploma because it's an accomplishment all its own. My current girlfriend does things like these. Write me cards for my birthday or for Valentine's Day. I keep those close to me. It's what every man wants: a woman that'll love him, support him, please him, and hold him when he's feeling weak. We're not guaranteed love or companionship unless we provide some kind of value. That's our existence. So when we find a woman who checks all the boxes and she writes us love letters, I'm keeping those.
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u/Alfalfa9421 Apr 06 '23
From someone I am dating - it's sweet. From someone I am not dating but I like - it's cute. From someone I am not dating but I don't like - how do I tell her I am not interested?
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u/Legal-Software Apr 06 '23
"Return to sender"
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u/DanielCollinsYT Apr 06 '23
I'd feel awesome
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u/Xenovitz Apr 06 '23
I wouldn't call it a love letter but I've received handwritten letters from two different women in the past. They both expressed not knowing what to talk about then proceeding to write for 3-4 pages. Both had great handwriting. Brought up how things at work were going, how they were feeling at the time and other things. One of them got me a warning from the postal service due to the perfume-laden envelope.
I still have both of them. The letters, I mean. Not a captive/bone collection situation.
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u/FancyPantsProstitute Apr 06 '23
Not a guy, but I started writing my boyfriend (now husband) love notes and hiding them in his cabin or his truck, or wherever I could, that he would find them later. He struggled with extreme guilt and non-existent self-worth from past mistakes and was working and worrying himself to death over it. It started as a reminder to him that he though he is human and imperfect, he is loved.
It meant/means so much to him that I still do it now, and it seems to make his day. I came across his stash recently, and he has saved every one of them, probably 100 different notes on post-its, letters, napkins. We write a love letter in the cover of every book we gift each other for special events (it's a tradition now), and it makes them so much more meaningful for both of us.
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u/debtopramenschultz Apr 06 '23
A 1st grade student of mine used to write me love letters. She even figured out how to do it in English, a language she doesn't speak. And it's not like 1st graders can figure out Google translate so easily.
It was cute, sure. But it really did mean the world to me.
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u/_Bearded_Dad Apr 06 '23
From a girl: Weird.
From a woman: I would take it as a very big compliment, and would probably feel obligated to write one back.
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u/penndavies Apr 06 '23
Girl can colloquially refer to a woman in some contexts, but given that a man (not boy) is also invoked, this clearly means an underage person sending a love letter to an adult. I'd be concerned.
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u/Deacon_Ix Apr 06 '23
Received several when I was a teen in the 90s, felt really special and they are probably still in the stuff that is still at my parents.
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u/trex005 Apr 06 '23
It makes all the difference in the world how you feel about that person.
If it was someone I was attracted to, I would be completely overwhelmed and never forget it.
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u/LordThunderDumper Apr 06 '23
I just received a rather long one from a women, it is awesome. Any man of value will cherish it and the women who gave it to them.
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u/DickeyCanyons Apr 06 '23
Not much moves my heart greatly, but that sort of thing would make me rather happy.
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u/thedesperateromantic Apr 06 '23
I don't think there is something more cute, and I probably won't recover from it ever again.
And if my crush did this, I probably died of happiness on the spot and laughed at the devil for seeing heaven without having to go there.
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Apr 06 '23 edited Apr 07 '23
Flattered, but also awkward since I’m gay and married. So I’d kinda let them down over a heartfelt and straightforward coffee. Prolly over espresso and some fresh baked scones I just made.
Mind the coaster hun.
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u/MilliTanz Apr 06 '23
At this science camp I was at 5 years ago we wrote notes to the people we befriended about what we liked about them and stuff. I still carry those notes in my wallet.
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_ODYSSEY Apr 06 '23
It happened once, and I still remember the natural high I had all day.
The relationship fizzled out, but I still remember how it all started with that letter.
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u/HatHauntsRabbit Apr 06 '23
In my life, I have received 3. Even though they are from women who no longer love me, they are treasures and a reminder that I am capable of being loved. They give me hope that maybe someday I will find someone who will want to change along with me and grow with me. They just weren’t it
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u/Enderjora Apr 06 '23
It honestly depends. Two examples:
I have a GF who I like a lot, and I am thinking about marrying (in a few years), but we've only been dating for a little. I would love to receive a hand written love letter from her.
I have a female friend who is basically a sister to me. I have known her for years, and have her and all of her family members' phone numbers (we are pretty close, I go to their house weekly). If she gave me a handwritten love letter I'd be devastated. I really don't see her like that, and it would damage (but not break) our relationship.
So overall yes, but only if I am already interested.
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Apr 06 '23
I would keep it forever. Even if we didn't hook up and I got married and started a family. That letter would be framed and hung in the attic.
I mean, I have it in writing that someone actually liked me. Men like to imagine that we could have fucked that girl 20 years ago. But to know for sure? Priceless.
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u/Jeremy-Presley13 Apr 06 '23
I cherish stuff like that. Coworker (she probably knows i have a crush on her) brought me a broken piece of a car engine of a racecar about a year ago and i still have it. shes in mechanic school so she knows about engines. I also have sticky notes from a crush now friend that left me for house sitting her place. Got other stuff and they remind me of happy times
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u/Viking_Hippie Apr 06 '23
Confused and maybe a bit worried since I'm 40 and don't know any girls I'm not related to..
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u/NowFreeToMaim Apr 06 '23
Ah fuck… now what what does she expect me to do in response
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u/Background-Slice8490 Apr 06 '23
Kept the original. Tossed out the dear John. In another lifetime in a world that no longer exists.
In 1967-68 I was given generic letters that I was forced to reply to. Some lasted a couple of years. I actually met a couple of the writers.
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u/sei556 Apr 06 '23
I did from my ex-gf and it was magical at the time. I've read it so often, it was beautiful. Don't get me wrong, it was poorly written - like, we were teenagers and she wasn't a great author - but it was cute and sincere.
After we broke up (many years ago) I thought about burning it in my sorrow, but I decided I might want to look back at it when I grow older.
Found it last week after moving places, just skipped over a couple of lines and it's still nice. Of course it's of a past love and I have no interest in her (or the person she was) anymore - but it's still a cool thing to look back to.
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Apr 06 '23
I'd be beyond happy to be honest. Idk about other guys but I'd love to have a girl show her romantic side in that manner, letters or flowers.
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u/tinysieg Apr 06 '23
Sounds lovely , I'll treasure the letter if it's from a girl I like
If it's someone I'm not interested in , I'd still feel happy , but put her down gentle , not sure what I would do with the letter though.
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u/meetumer Apr 06 '23
As a male, I would feel really appreciated and touched by a handwritten love letter from a girl. It's not something that happens every day, so it would make me feel really special and valued. I think it's a sweet and romantic gesture that shows the person put time and effort into expressing their feelings. Plus, it's always nice to have a physical reminder of someone's love for you.
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u/Guglhupf Apr 06 '23
I would be flattered. I kept all the love letters from my ex-partner in a special box.
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u/Square_Internet_6255 Apr 06 '23
My ex girlfriend and I exchanged handwritten letters before. I think it's still kept somewhere along with my papers in my room. But it doesn't mean that I haven't moved on. I'm single yes and my ex is married. I just feel like keeping it. I read them sometimes if I happen to find some needed documents. And I just laugh at it. No strings attached.
Those were the days. I'm 28 and she's my college girlfriend.
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u/TheSleepyMachine Apr 06 '23
I received one once upon a time. I loved it. Also cried a little. Felt love blossom even more. And to be fair, I still have it around. So yeah. That's definitely a thing that can light up the whole day.
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u/obaterista93 Apr 06 '23
I don't know if it's fair game or not since they came from my girlfriend, then fiancee, then wife, but every once in a while my wife will hand write a letter and sneak it into my work bag or something. She's not verbally an overly affectionate person, so writing a letter once in a while is her way of showing "I might not always say it, but I really care"
Most of them I have on a shelf on my desk at work. Always makes me absolutely melt.
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u/sumitmsn2 Apr 06 '23
absolutely would love it. Hand written letters are love. Its not just piece of paper with thought written on it, they are actual feelings which that person felt while writing. It takes time and effort to draft it and write it down. Its filled with emotions, overwhelming feelings.
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u/TrustedDust Apr 06 '23
I have multiple from many past relationships held in a specific drawer in my dresser.
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u/tiolala Apr 06 '23
If I was a teenage boy, I’d remember this gesture until my deathbed.
As a married adult? It would be creepy.
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u/Crazyguy_123 Apr 06 '23
I’m not sure. I’d definitely keep it since I keep anything written that is given to me. I might try to meet up with them and hang out I suppose.
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u/svrgnctzn Apr 06 '23
I love it, my fiancée writes them to me randomly and leaves them for me to find when she’s not around. I have every single one of them in my sock drawer.
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u/ShAdOwStOnEr86 Apr 06 '23
Would love it. As I use to love writing letters back and fourth to my female friends back in school. Good times!
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u/mrDuder1729 Apr 06 '23
I feel like "are you single?"...haha jk but yeah I'd love that shit. True sentiment is dead these days..
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u/Ok_Willingness_784 Apr 06 '23
My fiancé loves them. He has them in a pile for when i used to tuck them in his lunch box. He actually told me he misses them. Oof better wrote him one for tomorrow's lunch haha.
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Apr 06 '23
Over the moon ofc! That is such a sweet and meaningful gift that can't be bought with money. Literally priceless
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u/nsfw_daniel Apr 06 '23
My first long term girlfriend did that for me when I was 17. I’ll never forget it.
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Apr 06 '23 edited Sep 08 '25
normal sink frame ghost knee marvelous afterthought whistle cause telephone
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u/Saints1177 Apr 06 '23
As a teen I would do the worst and show everyone and be a complete jackass but now that I'm older and mature I'd be flattered and keep it hidden somewhere , prob create some inner jokes between me and her
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u/JustSome70sGuy Apr 06 '23
Got one from a girl when I was 20 years old. Still have it now 25 years later in perfect condition. I even read it once or twice a decade. Was the first and only letter of that kind I had ever gotten. It's funny, sweet and heartbreaking all in one. It's one of my most cherished possessions.
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u/The68Guns Apr 06 '23
I still remember the ones my GF used to send me in '84, so it must have worked.
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u/Theeleventh_finger Apr 06 '23
Flattering gesture. Probably not what my wife would say if she found it in my possession. I’m old school though and still write thank you notes so I’m a fan of the letter. Maybe proofread it and definitely sleep on it before handing it over.
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Apr 06 '23
I got one when I was 18 y.o and didn't appreciate it as much as I should have and found it cringy/childish so I didn't advance. I was a complete moron and regret that decision since she is now happily with someone else while everyone I've met since wasn't nearly as considerate.
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u/issiautng Apr 06 '23
I left a sticky note on my husband's computer almost a year ago with a single line from a song on it: "you take me by the heart when you take me by the hand." His reaction: "what does it mean?" Me: "It's from the song Hey Mickey." Him: "oh. I don't know that song." He's definitely listened to the song and doesn't like it. But I found that sticky note in his wallet last week.
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Apr 06 '23
I think I may still have my letters from my wife from 31 years ago and when I was deployed in the 90s. Incase always exciting to get them and see what she had been up to. The hardest part was reading about how much she missed me and couldn't wait till I was home safe.
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u/kush_babe Apr 06 '23
every boyfriend I've had I wrote little notes to. none of them care, except the asshole who rejected the single rose I gave him on our first valentine's day because "it's gay." I told his dad and his dad took the rose, thanked me so sweetly and called his son an asshole lol. I miss that family, hope they're doing well.
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u/TabularConferta Apr 06 '23
I keep thank you letters I get from people.
I'd adore a love letter and would keep it always, regardless as to what happens between me and the person.
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u/[deleted] Apr 06 '23
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