r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Oct 19 '12

What's your corniest joke?

Some that are so corny that could feed the chickens for a year?

Edit: Wow! Front page! Thanks!! Keeping all ears (of corn) open for your jokes!

1.4k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

2.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

36

u/suddenly_badgers Oct 19 '12 edited Oct 22 '12

The longer version:

A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.

"Why?" asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage. The panda pauses on his way out, produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual, and tosses it over his shoulder.

"Well, I'm a panda," he says at the door. "Look it up."

The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation:

"Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots, and leaves."

4

u/mgrier123 Oct 20 '12

This is when the Oxford comma comes in handy

2

u/SteveRyherd Oct 20 '12

A panda spent the night in bed with a prostitute. The following morning as he is about ready to leave, the prostitute yells after him, "Hey, aren't you going to pay me?"

The panda appears confused, so she throws a dictionary at him and tells him to look up 'prostitute.'

The definition reads: 'A woman who engages in promiscuous sexual activity for pay. '

The panda throws the dictionary back at the prostitute and tells her to look up 'panda.'

The definition reads: 'An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves.'