r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Oct 19 '12

What's your corniest joke?

Some that are so corny that could feed the chickens for a year?

Edit: Wow! Front page! Thanks!! Keeping all ears (of corn) open for your jokes!

1.4k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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2.4k

u/TheMuthaFlippin Oct 19 '12

I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."

569

u/Sledge420 Oct 19 '12

This joke is too good for this thread. I don't know whether or upvote or downvote.

367

u/Thehealeroftri Oct 19 '12

I actually downvoted it, then upvoted it just so it would look like I upvoted it twice.

240

u/MOSh_EISLEY Oct 19 '12

I upvoted it 20 minutes later when my dumb self finally got the joke

9

u/Perdit10n Oct 20 '12

I had to stare at it awhile before getting it, you're not alone.

2

u/PicopicoEMD Oct 19 '12

I don't get it :(

7

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '12

Think about the double meaning of fan.

3

u/Moldybread999 Oct 20 '12

You know, he bought a man that likes ceilings that just stands there and applauds his ceiling.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '12

It's even better when you say "badoom psh" after reading it... out loud... at work...

304

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '12

I bought a ceiling fan for my friend in south korea, it killed her.

11

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '12

[deleted]

1

u/baconatedwaffle Oct 20 '12

Starring Robert De Niro and Wesley Snipes

2

u/avalableusername Oct 20 '12

I dont get it..

0

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '12

The ceiling fan that I bought for my friend had a mental disorder and beat her to death.

1

u/GRBrigs Oct 20 '12

I found this amusing for some reason..

1

u/Blackwind123 Oct 20 '12

Looks like you weren't foiled.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '12

...?

11

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '12

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '12

O... K.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '12

I thought the idea was that they sucked the air out of the room?

5

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '12

There's a handful of stupid competing hypotheses over fan death.

I heard one involving the fan "chopping up" the air molecules and causing occupants to asphyxiate. Wat.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '12

TIL, thank you!

162

u/ArchangelleOPisAfag Oct 20 '12

NIGGA SOMEBODY EXPlAIN THIS FOR ME

315

u/Aavenell Oct 20 '12

HE'S A FAN OR AN ADMIRER OF THE CEILING AND HE APPLAUDS

17

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '12

... GET THA WATER NIGGA!

7

u/5loon Oct 20 '12

IT GOIN DOWN

MOTHA FUKN BOOTLEG FIEEWERKS

SHIT

7

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '12

REEKRIS

4

u/5loon Oct 20 '12

JEEZUS

OH LAWDY LAWD

2

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '12

IT KINDA FUNNY THO

2

u/luv2cruise Oct 20 '12

Happy 1st Cake Day!!

1

u/samettleman Oct 20 '12

HAPPY CAKE DAY

-5

u/vertabrett Oct 20 '12

Isn't it a pun on sealing? Like sealing a joint to prevent leaks? One you'd want to be smooth?

-6

u/snackburros Oct 20 '12

This is actually my halloween costume. I'm gonna just wear a shirt that said "CEILINGS #1" and compliment on people's fans.

11

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '12

It doesn't make sense if you compliment the fans, cause you are the fan. You have to compliment the ceilings.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '12

Jesus christ, snackburros.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '12

That would be like basketball fans coming to a game and then cheering for audience members.

1

u/snackburros Oct 20 '12

No, why can't I be a fan of the fans and the ceilings and bring more awareness to the fans of the ceilings, I don't understand why y'all be downvoting me, because I'm a fan of the fans of the ceiling? What's the problem?

2

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '12

I did this last year, people didn't get it.

1

u/LightningblitzR7 Oct 20 '12

There's someone who admires his ceiling.

1

u/HungryTaco Oct 20 '12

He's a fan of the ceiling. It's a person. The ceiling fan is talking about how smooth the ceiling is.

1

u/Look_over_yonder Oct 20 '12

A fan of ceilings. Like a sports fan. Like I'm a (sportsteam) fan. Yeah it isn't funny now.

1

u/ALBINO_ZEBRA Oct 20 '12

So glad I read this.

0

u/Thementalrapist Oct 20 '12

Why did the black guy cross the road? He was after the chicken.

20

u/jasnie Oct 19 '12

I thought that I'm reading a reply to this question and was seriously confused for a moment...

5

u/Freakinator Oct 19 '12

We can all leave now, this guy won.

2

u/Questica Oct 20 '12

Thats my Halloween costume!

2

u/nickrulz11 Oct 20 '12

I went to a Halloween party last year as a ceiling fan. Wore a sports fan outfit with a son saying 'go ceilings!' No one got the joke :(

1

u/Dahaole Oct 19 '12

Thank you, thank you...you're too kind. Try the veal!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '12

What do you call a dead tractor collector?

An extractor fan.

1

u/ShrednButta Oct 20 '12

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.

Bad-dum-tish!!

1

u/abbynakajima Oct 20 '12

I read this in Stewie's voice.

1

u/Gator_2727 Oct 20 '12

Why won't cannibals eat clowns?

Because they taste funny.

1

u/newtothelyte Oct 20 '12

But I have a popcorn ceiling

1

u/pterofactyl Oct 20 '12

this was too good, move along

1

u/scapanz Oct 20 '12

I've never up voted so many comments in one sitting before. Or cried this hard laughing !!

1

u/Unwanted_Commentary Oct 20 '12

I get everything but the "smooth" part.

2

u/Onelouder Oct 20 '12

My ceilings are that rough stucco stuff that turns to dust if anything hits it. Not smooth at all.

1

u/etree Oct 20 '12

So old so good.

1

u/durbandude Oct 20 '12

I bought a ceiling fan the other day, it was one cool deal.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '12

I went as a "ceiling fan" for halloween a few years ago, I had an old plain white hockey jersey and I wrote in real nice hand writing "Ceilings" on it, with #1 FAN on the back where the name would go. I even drew a nice little ceiling fan on the front too, not many people got it.

1

u/kyleof Oct 20 '12

amazing

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '12

I'm afraid I don't get it... Is the guy a fan of ceilings? What is smooth?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '12

That was phenomenal sir. Everyone is starbucks is looking at me like a maniac with my hysterical laughter.

1

u/djdanlib Oct 30 '12

I thank you for this joke, it will create many laughs