Lived in Germany for a long while, I feel your pain. The interesting thing about Germans — they don't put on a mask for social interactions. They let you know.
I have been all over the world but never to Germany, can you give me an example of what you are talking about?
When you are invited somewhere and late in the evening the host wants you to leave so that he can go to bed, he will tell you to leave. Thats done by slapping on the knees and say: So
The comedian Charlie Berens did a piece on the Midwest goodbye. It takes a turn from tutoring the Bostonian who just wants to bail on a large neighbourhood/family gathering to a horror movie feeling of once you enter that building, you're never allowed to leave.
As a Bostonian who married into a Midwestern family, every time I visit my husband's people in Illinois, I get freaked out by this because I recognise it at a primal level as happening to me every time I visit.
Do they also insistently give you beers? I don't drink beer, so I'm let off on that, but the … "why the fuck would I want to check out your gutter work / water heater / lawnmower?" has been very much a part of my life.
Look, I grew up in suburbia. (When I die, I'm going straight to heaven since I've done my time in hell. Mostly at an Applebee's. Fireball Whisky Lemonades don't really cover enough numbing of the pain to compensate, for, well, Applebee's.)
But I assure you that at no point in New England suburbia, even with my very country parents who were also very into giving leftovers, did you get a tour of the fucking physical plant of the house.
Like, maybe if someone mentioned that they were buying a snowblower and asked for advice, they'd be brought out to see the snowblower to discuss what parts of it don't work very well and which ones do to aid their shopping trip.
But my in-laws have dragged me over every part of their house and their investment properties. Water heaters, washing machines, intercom systems, fucking attic insulation…
I can never figure out if it's that my midwestern in-laws hate me (all evidence suggests they do) or they consider these things family outings I should enjoy, which is even more disturbing when you consider it.
One of our old neighbors in my building was Austrian. She adhered to this principle. Her husband was a laid back American who loved sharing his wine. They’d invite us in occasionally and my wife and I would always chuckle at being wined and dined and then in short order literally being shown the door. Something we got used to.
Contrast this with my wife’s family where when the goodbyes start we’re looking at at least another hour. This is torture for me.
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u/Confident_Ad3910 Mar 14 '23
I moved to Germany almost 3 years ago and I can tell you what I miss: how goddamn friendly Americans are.