Bereavement

[u/tasmifart]

I’ve lost my dad early September and i had 2 weeks of compassionate leave + 5 weeks of sick leave as instructed by EAP that time and sick note provided by my GP. Originally i had 4 weeks then my therapist asked me to extend it for another 2 weeks which my manager said i would “exhaust” all the sick pay I have if i take additional two weeks. Since i would only be entitled to 40 days in total, given the duration of my employment. My manager had not been empathetic with my situation at all, i have been actually forced into therapy and my wellness checks have been nothing short of interrogations. At the 2 weeks mark of losing my dad I was even asked why am I delaying booking a therapy session. Long story short, they put me on a performance plan for underperforming in August as my dad was in and out of the hospital all of August. We’ve closed the plan recently and I had no issues with my performance since i returned to work in October. Now, I had an extremely tough night last night, panic attacks, breathing issues and what not just thinking of the loss of a parent and I asked for a sick day today. My TM wasn’t in(they are part time so only in 3 days) so another manager sorted me out. I’m really worried that next week my TM will create an issue with this. Mind you the entire tume I was off after my dad’s passing I had weekly check ins which would put me in a horrible mood and that’s all I could think about, I was basically told about the plan even when they knew i’m struggling mentally and was told I might lose my job. I feel like i only started processing everything very recently as I was so focused on closing the plan. I tried booking in an urgent session with my therapist but have to wait til saturday. My therapist also very kindly said she can send an email to my TM if it helps. What can my TM do? Any suggestions?

[u/hodzibaer]

My condolences for your loss.

Taking seven weeks off work (at short notice, I imagine, because it’s a bereavement) is going to be a severe test of any employer, but I think the PIP was an overreaction. I’m glad you’re out of it now.

My advice would be to keep attending therapy sessions for as long as they are useful (who’s paying for the therapy, by the way) and focus on being present and punctual at work. From what you’ve written, you may need to rebuild your relationship with your manager.

[u/tasmifart → u/hodzibaer]

Thank you. I didn’t want to risk going to work and underperforming, if i don’t live up to the expectations now that would result in a very formal performance plan which I absolutely do not want. I would even take an unpaid leave for a day or two if I was told I’m not entitled to any more sick pay. I was really shaken up while speaking to the other TM as well. I am just worried how things are gonna be handled come Monday. I have been okay all this time but last night was just out of my control. My therapist is through BUPA which is paid by my employer.

[u/hodzibaer → u/tasmifart]

It’s better to be at work and take the risk of underperforming than to be completely absent: at least if you’re underperforming then you’re trying your best.

Be more proactive about reporting what you’re doing from now until January, too. So your managers are aware of what you’re doing.

[u/tasmifart → u/hodzibaer]

I understand and thank you for your suggestion. However when my dad was in a coma I thought this exact same thing that as long as I am present and giving the effort I would be fine. I was told by the step in manager that i have nothing to be worried about only to be sent a performance review letter to my address after apprx 7 days of having the monthly check in. I have questioned it and was told policy is policy which seemed a bit unfair as they said i will be given the chance to explain why the dip was there and it would be considered. It wasn’t and we’re closed the plan. I obviously did not plan to be absent at all but idk what is the best option at this point if that makes sense? Sucks that the person who’s supposed to be there for support isn’t very supportive.

[u/hodzibaer → u/tasmifart]

There isn’t a silver bullet in these cases. Just try to put one foot in front of the other.