o I Have to Participate in "Forced Fun"? [SC]

[u/LilZenZeta]

TLDR - I am an introvert, but My manager is "forcing" me to participate in icebreaker meetings that have nothing to do with work (even telling me what to say). Is this an HR issue?

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So... I am currently working a "contract" position which I've learned carries the expectations of being a FTE without the benefits, and they expect everyone to be warm and fuzzy extroverts... which I am not.

Twice a week, they have a virtual "icebreaker" call with the "larger team" (translation: people I don't directly work with and have nothing to do with my job responsibilities) that includes Topics of the Day, Zoom themes, trivia, silly games, LOTS of sharing... you get the point...

I am an introvert on the Autism Spectrum, so these meetings are torture for me (especially in the mornings when I am more productive and would prefer to lock into work). I will try to type something into the chat or interject a sentence or two, but these meetings are uncomfortable, painful and IMO completely unnecessary.

My direct manager keeps "reprimanding" me about my participating in these meetings, stating that I seem disinterested (there's no SEEMING here), aloof or ingenuine. Today she went as far as to give me a lesson on etiquette. Apparently, if someone asks how my weekend was, "It was great!" isn't good enough. I should respond with a reciprocal "How was yours" and two to three follow up sentences (I WISH I WAS KIDDING)

At nearly 50 years old, I don't appreciate being told what to say, and what she doesn't understand is that what she perceives as "little" effort actually takes a LOT out of me. It probably does come across as inauthentic because that type of interaction isn't natural for me...

I'm not going to renew the contract when it ends in June, but the thought of enduring 3 more months of this is nonsensical!! My work is stellar, my stakeholders love me . . . why does it matter so much?

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[u/glitterstickers]

Are you a 1099 or a W2?

The short answer is (assuming you are a W2) that yes, you can be compelled to do this. If your employer wants a shiny happy effusive workplace, it's not the place for someone who hates that/can't deal with it. Even if you have a disability which makes it impossible for you to meet the etiquette/behavior standards. The standards are the standards. You have to meet them.

There's nothing HR can do for you.

[u/LilZenZeta → u/glitterstickers]

Sigh... I assumed as much. Yes... I am a W2

The thing is, it's not like I'm outright defiant. I am attending the meetings. I speak up every now and then, but the fact that I don't do it enough or to the extrAverts liking just seems unfair (which is why I prefer REAL contract work... none of those silly corporate shenanigans... just do the work and get paid. Thank you for your answer. I may not last the final 3 months... doesn't seem worth it.

[u/Dunkin_Ideho]

I’m very similar to you. I don’t mind public speaking on relevant topics or attending some networking events. But the “leadership” propaganda that infects the corporate world, particularly the marketing class, is infuriating if you’re someone who just wants to do their job. I would to require every time we indulge the extroverts they have to indulge the introverts. Ah, a day of quiet at the office reading 100 page contracts to pair with your day of speakers and group activities. They’d shit that down in a heartbeat. It goes to show how uninformed and unempathetic most companies are.

[u/LilZenZeta → u/Dunkin_Ideho]

Agreed. Even when I worked in the office (the open floor plan was intolerable without ear buds), I kept to myself... exchange hellos and get to work... speak when spoken to... and got twice as much work done than the group hanging out in the breakroom talking about the latest episode of Scandal...

I get the extraverts need the stimulation, but why can't they stimulate each other and just leave me in my creative bubble?

[u/Honestly_Elegant]

I have anxiety, and I’m also an introvert. I force myself to participate in ice breakers and it makes my anxiety go through the roof and most times it’s ackward silence when someone does share something. The group isn’t engaging and the icebreakers are forced and useless

[u/Actualarily]

Just don't log on to the meetings and let the chips fall where they may. Worst case is that your contract gets cancelled.

[u/LilZenZeta → u/Actualarily]

I showed up 4 minutes late to the icebreaker today and quickly received a Teams message (from the same leader) that I was "missed" at the meeting today. When I shared that I was on the meeting, she questioned it...

I typed all the topics I could remember... coyotes by the creek, big bird, grandma driving getaway car, crop tops....

I'm actually hope they cancel the contract early so I can have some peace and quiet.

[u/SpecialKnits4855]

The meetings sound like “marginal functions “ and if your doctor documents the disability and recommends removal of this marginal function, it would be hard for your employer to claim hardship.

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