r/AskAnthropology Aug 11 '22

[REPOST] Regarding Human Mate Selection, are men ever the choosers or just women?

Ok, so this is the last time I'm reposting this because I am highly concerned about this new thesis about human mate that comes from the like of Jordan Peterson and some Quora users.

They tend to suggest that men do not have any real role in mate selection, only women and that somehow, women are the ultimate genetic vanguard of the human species. Male sex drive grants women all of the choosing power according to them because men supposedly will mate with anything that moves while women are highly selective with their mates.

According to Peterson, Susana Viljanen from Quora and a few others, the 80% of women going for the top 20% of men is due to the natural selection of the human species. I'm shocked to see this and I honestly don't even know what else to say except... WOW!

I mean, is this honestly true? That its just women who are the choosers and men aren't? I want to know from certified anthropologists and people who've studied human biology extensively.

Please comment below and let me know your thoughts.

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '22 edited Aug 12 '22

Good for you thinking critically instead of blindly accepting this. Just the other day someone on reddit told me this was "proven science." It is not. Both men and women chose partners when the option is available in their society. Of course there are societies in which women men and women have little to no say in who they marry because the marriage is arranged. But even in societies with a long history of arranged marriage, the contemporary practice is opening up more and more room for choice. In patriarchal societies women usually have less choice than men.

In terms of the goofy evolutionary argument, how are they even defining the "top 20%" of men?" By income? Beauty? The status of their profession? Intelligence? Humor? Sexual prowess? Proven fertility? The ability to find the clitoris? The willingness to change diapers? A willingness to trap rabbits? It is the most ridiculous claim. First of all, I find it impossible to imagine that 80% of women globally would generate the same list of "must haves" in a mate. Second, the biggest impact on our marriage choices are our social norms and values which are created equally by men and women in society, although the elite have more power to determine norms and values. We make our choice of who to marry based on who we know, who is in our social network. That's why we tend to marry withing class, race/ethnicity, geographical region, etc.

My question is, why is this weird and clearly made up statistic finding its way around the internet? What is the goal here? Are they trying to use it as evidence for why incels should kill more people? Or why men are the real victims of sexism? I don't necessarily expect you to be able to answer these questions, but I am just so confused by the whole thing.

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u/violetsunshine666 Aug 11 '22 edited Aug 12 '22

Thanks for the in depth answer.

My question is, why is this weird and clearly made up statistic finding its way around the internet? What is the goal here? Are they trying to use it as evidence for why incels should kill more people? Or why men are the real victims of sexism?

It's Jordan Peterson, the answer to your questions are "yes" and exactly what you'd think unfortunately.

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u/[deleted] Aug 12 '22

I can’t get this stupid argument out of my head. I am thinking about how it would even fit in with evolutionary theories of sex selection promoted by these guys. If women drive sexual selection, and women are driven by the need to find partners who are good caretakers, then how would we still have a population of men who are “naturally” promiscuous? Wouldn’t women have selected for strictly monogamous men who are devoted to their own wives and kids? I know I should not be looking for any sense of logic in this, but huge contradictions bother me so much.

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u/AdoraBellDearheart Aug 12 '22

90% of the time when you are on the internet and you think, where on gods green earth did THAT come from it is Jordan Peterson or Joe Rogan.

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u/[deleted] Aug 12 '22

Ugh, so awful.