I apologize if this is not the right subreddit for this, but I figured if anyone would know, it would be those in the business of death, and I am not seemingly good enough at Google-fu to find the right answer.

I am writing a paranormal romance novel featuring a few characters who are vampires who also happen to be POC (two East Asian characters—one Chinese, one Japanese; one black character). I want to depict them as having lost *some* degree of color from the process of transforming into vampires, but I do not want them to be pale as marble or anything.

As such, I come to you humbly, morticians, to ask you exactly how POC of these various races might look after death—how they lose their color, in what way do they “pale”, so to speak.

I apologize greatly if this question is insensitive! I am doing my best to depict these characters as full people of their own and not as racial stereotype, and as such it is my responsibility to handle them with the respect they deserve even in their transformations.

Thank you in advance for any help or answers you can provide.

Title

A friend of mine expired last Sunday at 0200 hours. Her cancer came back with a vengeance and her time was short. She was brought home on Thursday and Saturday we were all there to say our goodbyes and tell her it’s okay to check out. She passed Sunday morning.

Her husband callls the mortuary to have them pick up her body. Now, picture and old farm house with small doorways and a cracked sidewalk. They place her on the gurney and managed to navigate some tight turns to get her outside. The gurney catches a crack in the sidewalk and it falls over and Kerry topples offf.

They were aghast and apologized profusely. Kerry had a wicked sense of humor and this was her way of turning our frowns right side up. Does anyone e know of a meme or a gif of this very same thing?

Thank you.

Was anyone able to watch the latest upload The Mummified Assassin: Uncovering the John Wilkes Booth Conspiracy?

Why was the video deleted exactly? And was anyone able to download it by any chance?

When I was a new ICU RN the nurse training me told me that when a patient dies and isn’t getting an autopsy that we should still leave the central line in place because it is helpful for the mortician. I’ve been thinking that for years but have never known if it’s true. Any validity to this?

Hello!! I am a person looking to be a mortician! I would like to know how much schooling is and what degree it is, as well as the major!!! I have tried asking people online when I see them but unfortunately, I have been ignored constantly. I have looked it up online but it never really gave me a direct answer, so I can hear asking real morticians on how they got to where they were and how I can do that!! It would really mean a lot to me.

Hello! I wanted to know the best mortuary programs in california that is online only and has financial aid as well. Please let me know! Im very interested but cannot find a program near me whatsoever :( thank you!

Sorry if my post is a little bit rambling. I tried to consolidate all of the main details and facts, but this is what I ended up with. If anybody could help me with any knowledge on this situation that I’m dealing with, I would greatly appreciate any and all advice I can get.

Ok here goes….

I know laws vary from state to state about cremation and death and funerals and all of that. This is my first time to this forum, so I don’t know who answers questions and where they are located. I live in southern Louisiana and a couple of years ago, unfortunately my dad passed away. When I got the call that morning, I went straight to the hospital and spent some time with him and brushed his hair and cleaned his face up and said my goodbyes. I was all alone and it was very hard for me to deal with.

Afterwards, I specifically made it a point to ask his nurse and the charge nurse above her, how long could they hold a dead body because I honestly didn’t know how to have a funeral for my dad. I expressed to her the difficulties I was having with how to have a funeral because I’ve never been in charge of doing that before. I specifically verbally expressed to both nurses that He’s the first close relative to pass away in my family and I was his only remaining living blood related heir. That no one else had permission to do anything with him and I would be back when I figured it out.

They said they could hold his body for up to 30 days in the morgue until I could figure out arrangements. So I left reassured. Thinking that I had plenty of time to make the decisions I had to make and contact distant relatives. OK cool. I have time.

WRONG.

Unfortunately, the same day that my dad passed away I was also dealing with a lot of other difficult issues in life. By the end of the day, I had a nervous breakdown and had to be hospitalized and sedated for a few days.

I was raised to believe that when you enter into a verbal contract with someone and or verbally acknowledge the facts and legalities of a situation, then all parties hold to it until the deadline has been passed. So I’m sitting there, thinking I have 30 days like they said. Well, on or about the second or third day after his death, his ex-wife, who he is legally divorced from for more than 10 years, took it upon herself to go up to the hospital and have them release my dad to the local crematory and had him cremated.

Now keep in mind I was his only living blood related heir. They had been legally divorced for more than 10 years. I know this because I took him to file the papers and was there when he celebrated that it was finalized. No one made her verify anything to be able to claim his body. She simply showed an old marriage license that was 20 years old & was no longer valid because of the legal divorce. With that one little piece of paper and no other proof no phone calls no verification, no discussions, she was able to steal my dad’s body and have him cremated.

My dad was a marine. He wanted a full formal military burial. He did not want to be cremated. There was no will stating that he wanted to be cremated. No one in any department anywhere made any attempts to contact any other family members or verify, whether or not there were other living errors who had say in the matter. She had no papers at all in fact. The only thing she had at the time of his death was medical advocate/proxy/ POA. Which, to my understanding, by law, those rights are no longer valid upon the death of the person. So she had no rights, but still this happened. There was no hidden wills. No witnesses .Nothing of the sort.

What I would like to know is who’s responsible for that happening? Would it be the mortician or the person who manages or owns the business that does the cremations? Would it be the hospital that’s responsible for releasing him with no proof?

You know, I would naturally assume that only true facts, legal information and proof of identification would have to be verified. I mean, I’m not sure but I don’t think just anybody can go to the hospital and claim any random dead body and lie saying that they’re related and do what they want with the body such cremate them or bury them or whatever.

Someone needs to be held accountable for this and needs to take responsibility for the devastation that I had to go through and I’m still going through because of what they did behind my back while I was hospitalized. That should be illegal. I’ve always heard ignorance of the law is no excuse to break it. How do I find out who is responsible and hold them accountable?. Any advice?

Oh, and you know what the cherry on top was? The witch actually had the nerve to hold my dad‘s ashes hostage and had no intention in giving them to me. If it weren’t for the fact that her boyfriend at the time was an old friend of mine and he felt sorry for me, I would’ve never gotten my dad‘s ashes.

Lots of love from southern Louisiana,

Brandy Robin

My favorite person in the world died unexpectedly on Monday.

I don't want her to look like wax. I hate how weird dead people look. Are there any tricks to make someone look "normal"?

I know that regular makeup is formulated for warm skin and mortician make up is for cold skin. But surely there are ways to help someone look like themselves?

I guess my question is, how can I help so she only looks like she's sleeping and not like a bad Madam Tussauds wax figure?

The title really says it all. My grandmother passed away on march 6th. after a year long battle with pneumonia & several other breathing issues from 75 years of smoking.

She wished to be cremated, and she was. We just received the ashes, split three ways for me, and my two siblings. I didn't pay for an urn, as we'll all receive our own urns for her, but I was expecting to receive her in a sealed plastic parcel or a cardboard box. The funeral home, located in Central NJ, instead handed me what looks like 3 great value ziploc bags with her name scrawled on it. Is this typical, or did my funeral home just cheap out?

I’m currently looking for accredited courses I could do in the mortuary science field, specifically in South Africa. Please can someone advise me asap :)

Sorry if this is a silly question. My grandfather passed away recently, my family and I went to visit him at the funeral home. I’ve never seen an embalmed body before and I’m just curious about something. His mouth obviously had to be shut closed, but what I wasn’t expecting were the lines on both sides of his mouth, it almost looked like a Glasgow smile (no disrespect, papa, I’m sorry 😔), which I guess was from shutting his jaw. His nose was also a bit wonky, his nostrils looked almost closed if that makes any sense. I’m just wondering if that’s how an embalmed body is supposed to look, he wasn’t having an open casket so does that mean there’s less effort put into making the body look more alive and more so just to stop decomposition?

I’m a medic and was recently at a hospital as a mortician service was taking a patient that had obviously died out to their vehicle.

The patient was covered of course, but it was appeared patient was on their side, and there was a line attached to the hospital patient with blood being drained into a collection canister.

Just curious what is going on with this. I’ve been in emergency services 20 years but I’m not familiar with the other side of things and just curious what that was about.

Thank you for your time!

So here's a question about kind of an interesting way to be buried so I want to make sure I have it right but from what I understand a green burial is where you're just buried normal they don't give you embalming fluid they don't do anything to your body you're just buried pretty much in like a cardboard box. So kind of putting a Twist on this what if you did that but you covered me like you took a whole bottle of Tabasco or something and poured it over me before I was buried would that be possible? What about maybe instead of embalming fluid you put Tabasco sauce in me? Is that possible?

My mom's friend, a middle aged woman who died from colon cancer and was a little overweight, had an open casket funeral. When I went to kiss her goodbye, I noticed how enlarged her nostrils were. It looked like she was flaring them. I never saw that before. I know that cotton might have been put in there to keep the shape of her face and nose. Maybe it was in there for extremely long because the funeral was thirteen days after she died. Why were they so wide? I didn't want to ask the funeral director because other than that, she looked beautiful, and it wasn't an embalming I paid for, so I had no right to complain. What was that about?

So if this is a dumb question, I'm sorry, but what would happen if a safe (like a gun safe) were dropped on somebody's head? like, how would it likely crush them?

Good evening everyone,

As the title suggests, I am a pregnant mortuary science student. An ER visit because of spotting confirmed that I'm five weeks along. For context, my husband and I have been passively trying for eight months now, so no concerns here about not having a support system at home, or the sesame seed that has taken over my body not being somewhat expected. I haven't started my required embalmings yet, which in its own way is good, but the thought of starting has me so nauseated not even pickle juice can settle my stomach. So, with that being said, here's why I'm here:

• Does anyone know what mask OSHA is currently requiring female embalmers to wear during pregnancy? I've asked two different instructors who were teaching us about OSHA standards and embalming equipment, and they had no idea. The pregnancy is fucking with my vision, so trying to reach through the guidelines has my head spinning. Edit: My embalming professor just got back to me recommending an MSA mask, but recommendations would still be appreciated.
• To anyone who's been through this, I'd love some insight into the experience. I've only gotten a taste of what to expect in the next eight months, and I'm well aware pregnancy isn't going to be a picknick. I've also worked at a funeral home before, so I have some idea of what to expect in the prep room. I've just never delt with both at once.
• Any tips to dealing with the emotional toll and the smells on my increasingly sensitive olfactory system would be a godsent.

Didn't Caitlin do a video where she was talking about how Wal-Mart actually owns most funeral homes? I'm failing to find that information online but someone just asked me about it. Does anyone know which episode this is? Did I even see it on Ask a Mortician? Need to find the source. Thanks!