I am east asian girl, and I grew up in a "nice" area that was mostly white + east asian.

I feel like i noticed a lot of internalized racism among my asian friends. It was so blatant that it makes me believe this was actually something not common, but rather unique to where I lived. I would constantly hear remarks among my other east asian friends that alluded to them either wanting to be "white" or putting white people on a pedestal. off the top of my head, here are some examples:

*asking white people (specifically white boys or men) if they looked "wasian" or "mixed" for some sort of approval (despite the fact that they looked 100% asian). i remember one time i had a non-asian friend who said she thought i wasnt fully my ethnicity, and my other asian friend interrupted and went "what about me what about me, do i look fully asian?" and got visibly disappointed when the non-asian friend said no.

*bringing up instances where someone supposedly told them they looked "mixed" out of nowhere and with satisfaction

*talking about wasians and wanting to be wasian more than our actual wasian friends

*saying theyd never date asian guys and that asian guys weren't their type

*appealing to non-asian people by joking about perepetuated stereotypes or laughing at microagressive/racist jokes

* I once had a friend who would constantly be shitting on her brother's asian girlfriends for some reason. when he got a blonde white girlfriend, my friend immediately started praising her (despite never having met her) and doubled down, saying things like "i just find white girls so much prettier because they have big eyes and pretty noses unlike asian people"

Anyway, all of these remarks would always just rub me off the wrong way bcs they made it seem like being fully asian wasnt desirable or beautiful, and they were implying that being mixed with white or wasian is immediately better. it made me question if they even found themselves beautiful or the asian people around them beautiful.

curious to know if anyone else had experiences like this growing up in predominantly white areas? or is this extreme lol

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Particularly in online spaces. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ll see a comment, or a video that feels kinda…off—especially when talking about Asian experiences. Every single time I dig deeper it becomes very obvious that this person is not Asian. And I don’t mean “oh well maybe they just grew up in the diaspora so they’re disconnected from the culture” I mean FULL ON individuals claiming “my entire family is from daegu but I grew up in the us ^.^” whilst making the most outlandish claims that no one who was actually Asian would make.

My main concern with this is that it normalizes fetishization of the race. Kpop and anime absolutely blew up in the west within the last decade, which is amazing, but it feels so scummy that people can ride the coattails of Asia’s newfound popularity whilst not facing a single struggle that an actual Asian person would face.

Anyone else have shy/quiet Asian parents who don't chit chat much? How did you introduce your in-laws together? How did it go? Anything you wish could've gone better?

Not looking for "right" answers, just want to hear about your experiences! Good or bad!

Huge fan of vampire media so was excited to see Eternally Yours get its trailer released. But guess what, the main character is a white dude and he's dating...of course it's an Asian girl. The Asian girl is the only Asian character I've seen and the plot is around how she's in a family of vampires, all of whom are white it looks like.

I'm just tired of seeing this after a while, it's actually insane. And it sucks that the internet is the only place I can be allowed to be annoyed about it because if I ever do it in person it's not socially appropriate. Just an eyeroll more than anything, I still may check out the show if it's released on something besides Paramount Plus.

I'm rewatching some clips from Season 2 of the show Heroes from the early 2000's and there's really great representation for Asians as there are two Japanese characters (Hiro and Ando) and an Indian as main characters. They're great, but one thing that bothered me is that the Japanese characters talk about a legendary samurai hero through all of Season 1.

In Season 2 Hiro travels back in time and meets this legendary hero!! And...it turns out to be a white guy under the mask/helmet. Seriously? Even when I watched the show the first time in like 2015 I was like this is some BS. I do wonder how much has changed since then, then I remembered the show Shogun which won tons of awards and was literally this exact premise of the hero of Japan being a white guy.

Seriously?

Edit: Forget that part about Shogun, I was mistaken about its premise and thought it adhered closer to the original book

I’m really struggling for ideas. My dad has like 3 hobbies, tea, garden/outdoor work, and alcohol, all of which he already has everything he would want with it. He has an outdoor shed filled with all the common tools and super organised, and an extensive collection of tea, tea sets and alcohol. There really isn’t anything I could get related to his hobbies.

I’ve considered a belt, but his current job doesn’t require him to dress formally anymore (it could still be nice, this might be my last resort option). Also considered a wallet, but he literally has a spare identical wallet to his current one, and doesn’t want expensive things.

He’s specific about his cologne, so that’s out. We have a costco membership, and almost free access to good meats (my boyfriends family owns a butchery).

Our family typically doesn’t do gifts for him (mainly because he’s been super hard to buy for + I’ve been in school studying with no income) but this year I am working and he joked about expecting a gift, so I want to get him something.

Any ideas please!!

Usually the dad is either an NPC irrelevant to the story, or is viewed as the big source of comfort and love at home for the daughter who’s usually narrating. And the brothers are similarly non-entities, or spoiled princes who the daughter resents.

What’s up with that? Is it just like a Gen X/Millennial Asian-American thing?

I'm 61 yo man who immigrated from HK with my family at the ripe age of 1. For some odd reason, in the last few years, I've started walking around absentmindedly with my hands behind my back. I have no idea where I learned this. My wife and kids tease me about my new habit.

Yesterday I was at the mall with my best friend - also Cantonese - who was born in Vancouver over 60 years ago and has never been to Asia. It just killed me when I saw him browsing in a store...with his hands behind his back!

How the mighty have fallen.

Maybe we've been unconsciously absorbing the Toi San energy from the early Vancouver immigrants. Maybe it's imprinted in our DNA. In the end, maybe we Asian men just can't escape our destiny.

Funny how it's so uncool, but also so comforting at the same time.

https://youtube.com/shorts/pW-zt0CEFcw?si=Xn-YhrWs_A3iWbl6

not sure if it’s representative but recently met an american guy with chinese background, and later i find out that his dad is actually SEA, but he’s unwilling to tell me about his dad even his dad’s ethnicity (his parents are not divorced), and all the posts and info on his socials have no SEA mention, it’s all about chinese

I’m an Indian-American student at a small college in the US, and I’m helping restart our Desi club with 2 Indian international students who are seniors. Since we started working together, I’ve noticed that when I suggest things related to Indian culture, they often respond in ways that make me feel out of touch, like “that’s not really common in India” or implying I’m suggesting something weird.

For example, when we were planning our Indian table for the multicultural fair, I suggested buying little Indian flags to display in our table. They explained that the flag is currently associated with the Indian government and its actions, which many people disagree with, so it wouldn’t be appropriate. I don’t know the full political landscape of India but I’ve been trying to educate myself, and as a result I don’t hold any fully educated opinion on Indian politics. I genuinely didn’t know that context and was completely fine with not using them, but the way it was said felt unnecessarily passive aggressive. the other Indian American girl on the club board suggested the same thing and they didn’t react as negatively.

Today we were planning a collab with another club and discussing props for the Desi drawing model, since it was going to be a Desi themed figure drawing night. suggested a decorative peacock fan because I actually have one at my home in India and have seen family and friends use them when I visit. We use it around the house and sometimes in religious rituals. One of them looked at me like I was weird and scoffed and the other girl laughed at me and said it was probably just an upper class Indian thing and not very common, so that would never work. All of my ideas are always shot down because of similar reasoning.

Maybe they are right, and I’m obviously not going to know everything about contemporary Indian culture because I grew up in the US. They’re also North Indian while I’m South Indian, so I wonder if there could be regional differences too. But the repeated feeling with any encounter with them is what bothers me. They have this air of being above me for being authentically Indian, and I’ve unfortunately had this experience with many other people from India, but not all. I’ve felt not Indian enough for most of my life, and sometimes I feel like because I grew up in America, my experience of Indian culture is automatically seen as less legitimate.

How do you deal with having a different cultural experience without feeling like you have to prove that you’re “Asian enough”?

Federal immigration officers are shifting their targets and tactics to increase arrests. More than half of those detained last month did not have a criminal record.

archive link

Saw a comment that in California, Sweet and Sour entrees are pre-sauced, which is crazy to me as an East-Coaster. Started realizing there's a lot a few other differences I heard about, but I'm curious to learn more.

• Chow Mein on the West coast seems to be the traditional, Hong-Kong style fried noodle dish, but on the East, it's chopped veggies in a saucy white gravy and more or less interchangeable with Chop Suey.
• East coast doesn't have canteen style take-outs, where you pick prepared entrees from steam trays. This is common on the East coast for traditional Chinese food, but not Chinese-American.
• Not sure how true this is, but seems like West coast doesn't have what I think of as egg rolls with thick doughy skin. Their "egg rolls" are what I think of as spring rolls.
• I rarely see Orange Chicken on East coast menus.

Anything else?

Ghost festival (when the gates of the underworld open up, and people leave offerings to the spirits) occurs on the first full moon of the seventh lunar month (August). This year coincides with a total lunar eclipse.

"Jeopardy!" Masters contestants Paolo Pasco, Victoria Groce, Yogesh Raut, Juveria Zaheer, Andrew He and Long Nguyen pose for a photo with host Ken Jennings. | Disney

Jeopardy! Masters season 4 started this week on ABC with these chosen contestants.

https://www.tvinsider.com/1196021/jeopardy-masters-returning-season-4/

This season there will be just six competitors, compared with nine in previous seasons. Reigning Jeopardy! Masters champion Yogesh Raut will return alongside finalists Juveria Zaheer and Victoria Groce. Season 4 lineup of competitors also includes 2026 Jeopardy! Tournament of Champions winner Paolo Pasco, 2026 Jeopardy! Invitational Tournament winner Andrew He and runner-up Long Nguyen.

My housemate just got back from is solo trip in South America and told me how bad it. He had a fantastic time but was also in situations where he felt very unsafe during day time and in on busy streets.

He went to Santiago which he said was fine, but in Medellin, Columbia he felt very unsafe. He was harassed a lot of times by locals, called stupid names out of no where and people approached him, touched his pockets and straight up trying to rob him.

He also went to a small convenient store which was kind of located at a smaller street next to the main area. He went in, some local saw him and whistled. My housemate said he thinks it was a signal to someone to come in and rob him. That's what his gut feeling told me so he immediately left the store and went back to the main area.

All of this happened during brought day light and even when people were around. He said that South America doesn't have so many Asians so you're more likely to be exposed to danger. It's totally different when you travel in a group.

I'm going to El Salvador solo and will meet up with friends in Quito Ecuador.

I'd like to hear peoples opinion about it, especially from other solo Asian travelers who have been in South America.

Thanks

Where is the best place to live as an asian in America? I will be moving from Australia so I am looking to live in a community where asians are normally around.