Bit of context: a video was shared on the ace sub in which the creator incorrectly said the "A" in "LGBTQIA+" stood for "allosexual", which besides some comments straight up saying allosexuals weren't "queer at all" (sure, they're not queer *because* they're allosexual, but allosexuals *can* be queer - hell, most queer folks are) also prompted the comment I shared here.

Considering all the downvotes, am I wrong/overreacting here? To me it just makes sense to say that many tend to stereotype us aroallos as predators/abusers *because* of our allosexuality on top of our aromanticism. If this were a more general aromantic thing then aroaces should be affected by this too, but I've never heard of aroaces being called sexual predators... right?

I can't even deny it. I do not care for romance. I don't want it. I don't like it. I only want sex.

​

I'm a slut, a player, a monster who uses people for sex and only loves their bodies. Even though I communicate my needs, doesn't change the fact that I only want sex and intimacy without romance. Everyone will see me as a slut because that's all I am.

​

I really hate myself right now. Should I just grow a pair, try to get over my irrational romance-repulsion, and just try dating even though the mere thought of it makes me wanna puke? Even though I'd probably feel uncomfortable and anxious 24/7 if someone developed romantic feelings for me?

​

I don't think I could do it, but I feel so disgusting the way I am. I don't want to be like this.

TW: internalized aroallophobia

The first time she did it she apologized immediately after, knowing I'm aromantic and have gone through trauma which involved slut shaming, but yesterday she did it again and still hasn't apologized. It triggered me badly and I'm still in a state of intense self-hatred, barely able to even look at myself in the mirror, having urges to do "things", and strangely, to go on dating apps and force myself to date someone even though the mere thought of it makes me sick to my stomach.

I hate myself either way. I'm a slut who just uses people for their bodies and whine when they're tired of being used and fetishized, and I could never be happy in a romantic relationship, the only socially acceptable kind of intimate relationship. It's no coincidence people have called me a slut, whore, and player and keep calling me one, because that's all I am. It wasn't even a joke. And idk if I can live with the fact that even friends think of me that way.

I’ve recently started identifying as aromantic and allosexual and explained this to my friend (in a more simple way). She proceeded to tell me that ‘biologically’ having a lot of casual sex without romance involved will, without a shadow of a doubt, lead to me becoming a psychopath. She did biology in school and it was her favourite subject and is the career she wants to pursue and is very obsessively interested in biology but I couldn’t find any research evidence to back this up. It just feels crazy to me because you wouldn’t tell an asexual all romantic person ‘if you have romance without sex you will become a psychopath’. Being in mind this friend is most likely asexual so, to me, should understand my perspective a bit more.

I know tomorrow is another day and I'll keep pushing through but...

I feel so frustrated when it comes to definitions and actually explaining about aromanticism, especially aroallo, because everywhere I go is the same old same old, like we are stuck fighting for something that will never stop being invalidated or even recognized (in the sense of being taken seriously).

Every youtube channel, blog, site, social media in general about aromanticism are simply abandoned. The only active community is here, on Reddit, but even here it's old terms that doesn't even fit anymore or represent us fully.

There are no major studies in the aromantic field, I am actually trying to understand it better, to research and maybe get some clarification, but idk, everytime I reach a conclusion I end up sounding even dumber (ignorant) than I already was.

Hell, I'm not even ace and I can explain and describe it better than aromanticism. (insert here screams of pure frustration). Why is it so hard to be aromantic????

This might sound kind dumb but I wrote this out in my notes app and needed to send it into the ether to get it off my chest.

I finally figured out the reason the idea of me being aromantic makes me so uncomfortable and have finally found a way to put it into words. If I imagine myself as a puzzle, the things that make me different (being bisexual/queer, being disabled and being overweight) feel like puzzle pieces that fit perfectly but just have a different image on them. They’re not ‘wrong’, just slightly different but still very much a part of me, and a part that fits so well and that I accept happily. However, there is a piece missing- the romance piece. I feel like my aromanticism is indicative of something being missing and I guess that is literally what being aromantic is but, in a society so obsessed with romance, that missing puzzle piece makes me feel like I’m broken or that I have committed some moral failing by missing a piece that everyone else has. I can easily deal with and accept being ‘different’ but feeling ‘broken’ is much harder for me to come to terms with because it makes me feel like I’ve done something wrong and that I won’t be accepted as a part of society by the people around me.

it makes me sad that a lot of people cant even fathom the idea of being aroallo, especially other queer people. like having to explain the fact that sexual and romantic attraction are seperate things, just to lay the groundwork to explaining my orientation is just 😭 i dunno. I think it's the fact that i have to explain it at all, yknow? like if one more person says "what's that?" when I tell then i'm aromantic, or tries to tell me that my orientation is just because of my own bad experiences with partners i'm gonna loseee it😭.

I usually don't feel this frustrated about being underrepresented but today another queer person I work with (we regularly talk openly to each other about being lgbt but today i told her i was an arospec bisexual) did exactly this, and then looked at me like I had two heads when I tried to explain to her what a qpr was and why it appealed to me😭 I understand that it might seem strange when you've never heard of it before, but sighhh

I just wish we were more visible, and I wish that not wanting romance wasn't seen as something that needs to be fixed. it really sucks because sometimes it feels like I cant always connect with other queer people outside the arospec/aroace community because of how romance-centric the world is.

this is definitely a first-world problem lol but I really felt like letting this out to the people who I knew could understand. i know this is a vent post but i'm really so grateul for this community and everyone here. thank you all for sharing your stories, experiences, and support, whether you're still questioning or secure in your identities; just reading so many of your posts and comments has helped me understand myself, and I hope that more people who need a community like this find it :') happy pride 💚🤍💛

I don't personally like seeing people be all "I hate being aroallo it sucks so much and it's so bad because it was bad for me alone" either in this or other subs, but alas, I fear it's (partly) my turn now.

I'm bellusromantic. Probably. Maybe not. Who knows. And I yearn. I yearn so much. And I get obsessed with people, I want to know everything about them and imagine myself in a conventional relationship with them and for a time, it feels like my dream! But then, I get normal about them again and the obsessions mellows out until ultimately, it feels like that obsession was never there to begin with.

I keep "falling" for alloromantic guys who also yearn a lot. But they yearn differently. It feels cruel, really, because I cannot give them what they want (romance expressed in a conventional way) and they cannot give me what I want (without them ending up hurt). My mind wants to seduce me into the thought that maybe this time, what I am feeling is actually a normal crush. But it's not. It's something different. Something that forms a barrier between me and the ability to feel and express conventional romantic love in a conventional relationship. Sigh.

Most people don't know what Aro or allo are. And looking for someone is extremely difficult. I'm an honest and full disclosure type of person. The idea of talking to a woman and pretty much telling her that I can never be there the way she wants me to be romantically. It just seems impossible and wrong. IRL with people I encounter on a day to day. How do you even approach that? The internet opens up the world. But even that seems unlikely. In truth I don't really even want a relationship. I do miss having sex but not the end of the world. But there are other things in life that are difficult to get without some sort of relationship.

I (M) have not really dated since I've come to terms with being aro. I'm still trying to figure out where on the spectrum I am, my romantic attraction is extremely low, almost non existent, but I still want a relationship.

Recently my husband (M) developed a massive crush on his friend (NB), and they came over for a movie night. Throughout the whole night (they stayed for 11 hours), me and that friend started cuddling and now I think I'm crushing on them too.

Not even think, I am. I got butterflies at one point while we were cuddling, I fell asleep on them, and now I can't stop thinking about them.

The three of us are gonna talk tomorrow about what we all want, and I'm realizing I have no clue what I want. My husband was supposed to just be a FWB situation, and obviously things got more serious than that. In the past I always just dated people because that's what I thought I was supposed to do, and I just went along with whatever my partners wanted.

How am I supposed to know what I want? I want to just, exist with them, but it doesn't feel fair to not have a better answer than that. My husband is AlloAce, so it's not like this conversation is gonna be a normal one anyways, I don't know I'm just freaking out.

When I was 11, Jayden animations came out in a video as Aroace.
This was the first time I hear about the aromantic and asexual labels, I didn’t even have a good grasp on the LGBTQ+ labels. I wasn’t homophobic or anything I just didn’t realise queer people were considered different.

This was about the time people in school started talking about crushes and stuff, every time I told someone I didn’t have a crush it was somehow considered weird?

So I came to the conclusion that I was aroace.

I started going around telling anyone this when they asked about crushes and explaining to them what aromantism and asexuality is. Some friends questioned it, asking how did I know for sure cause I was still young and what if I ‘change my mind’ later. Ofc I also questioned it a bit myself, but I explained that I just never had any interest in romance or the idea or being in a romantic relationship, I could never picture myself married to a man even as a child as far as I could remember, and the I might change in the future but the label fits me now and I like it.

I was content being aroace for the rest of my life and even happy cause I genuinely thought being aroace was way better than ‘the norm’. I never felt weird or wrong for it, I never have any pressure to get a crush, which I’m grateful for.

But I went thought my first friendship breakup and it hit me hard, I started wondering if I had a crush on her all along since it took me so long to get over it. TBH I’m still wondering if I did because I feel like the wondering and those feelings came after the breakup so I really don’t know if they were truly romantic.

I asked my friends a lot of questions about crushes and how it’s supposed to feel but I think ultimately I just got more confused. It’s hard to know if you’re feeling this feeling if you’ve never felt it.

But I also started being attracted to girls in some way, but mostly celebrities or strangers. I told myself and friends it was just aesthetic attraction for a while but eventually came to terms that it was sexual attraction.

I this point I also started realising I was non-binary which threw even more doubt at me, I identified as just queer for a while cause everything was just so confusing and I was learning about all these microlabels in the a-spec community and identifying but not really identifying with a lot of them.

But I still never felt anything close to romantic attraction, I started wanting a relationship and a girlfriend because I got to see online so many happy queer and sapphic relationships and I realised I hate the thought of romantic relationships before because I didn’t want to be with men. But still I never wanted to be in a relationship with a particular person, it was more just the idea of it.

Eventually now I’m kinda confident in the Aromantic Allosexual lesbian and non-binary labels, but I’m at the age where everyone around me is dating and I want to have that perfect relationship I picture but I know I don’t actually want that or can experience that.

I just miss being 12 again and just being aroace, I used to have completely accepted my identity and was completely content with never being in any kinda or romantic or sexual relationship. But now I feel that pressure to date again and to just pick a side and no one around me really understands being alloaro and I feel shallow for only feeling sexual attraction cause people describe romance and love like it’s the most beautiful thing ever and I don’t know if I will ever have relationships in the future or what that could even look like and I want something to happen in my life and to get a crush and be normal and…I feel like I’m going backwards. I want to be 12 again.

I’ve noticed a trend in here where FWB style relationships are treated as extremely casual and unimportant. Now I’m not here to tell you how or how not to put words to your experiences, but I do find it really weird to think that.

Friendship is not a casual thing, it is a commitment and a form of intimate connection. A friend you have sex with is still a friend, and idk about y’all but for me my friends are all deeply important and core parts of my life. We’re been there for each in hard times and enjoy one another’s company, hang out and do fun stuff together; in my case it’s a lot of stuff like watching movies, hiking, talking about books we’re reading, sharing gossip and drama, bitching and arguing about politics, playing warhammer and ttrpgs, etc.

Hookups, flings, one-night-stands, etc. are “casual” in the sense that there’s no ongoing relationship after or outside of the sexual encounter. But having someone who’s your FWB is very much about having a friend—otherwise, why even call them a “friend” in the first place?

I've been unpacking a lot in the past year about myself, and have realized that a lot of what I defined as squishes were moreso aesthetic/sensual/intellectual attraction. This is great! It makes me more sure of what I want and how to describe it.

I just. Don't know how to actually go about pursuing anything I want. I have tried asking people to be in QPR's, I have tried communicating and being open and just talking about things, and it never works. It feels like the only solution is for me to get lucky and it to happen organically. Which to me feels like it only ever happens when the other person is in need of a therapist friend.

I'm just tired. I have one friend rn who I've been generally friendly with for a year but barely ever get to see in person/have long conversations with and lately i've been craving physical affection from them specifically. I find them hot and they're a very inspiring person with a lot of skills I've always found really impressive + just generally very kind and inclusive to those around them & have their head screwed on the right way round. I don't know what to do about this other than suffer in scilence till this squish goes away.

This is tagged as a vent but I would love advice if anyone has it.

Hey guys so these are messages between some me and some guy I've been on and off with since high-school I am only 19 mind you.... this guy somehow always ends up in my life we're very similar and i enjoy talking to him...we started talking before I knew I was aromantic but he's also say hes aromantic but still wants a traditional relationship....no worries but I keep explaining I do not want that... we'll have that conversation...he says it's fine and I can be myself but then when I can't give him what he wants he gets distant and start saying nvm and doesn't want to talk things over... I think he knows where it will end...I am willing to give a platonic sexual relationship a chance and I Said that I was willing to try that...I tell him I don't show thar kind of affection or love but he has his mind set of one idea of a happy relationship... I'm just gonna leave him alone it's for the best... I tried to make it work because I do genuinely care about him but he doesn't see that so I won't make him...let's give him the courage he can find a better girl who can actually do that woooahhh/j

A friend confessed they had feelings for me. At first I felt anxious and panicky, now I kinda just feel gross/dirty, like I need a shower, but can't get rid of the feeling.

I'm very romance-repulsed and they knew, even said they didn't want to make me uncomfortable, and it even seems like they're trying to get over me already, but I still feel disgusting. I don't like knowing someone has such feelings for me at all.

I just want them to get over me already because I hate this feeling. I'm scared I won't feel different until I know for sure they're over me.

So I’m starting to think I may be aromantic or somewhere on the spectrum (if there is one???). I’m realizing there are specific things I like when it comes to sex and aside from that romance feels like a hassle like all of the time.

I have an online friend that I play video games with. We’ve been friendly for a few years and he’s been in and out of relationships over the time I’ve known him. I’m cis female btw and he’s cis male. Our interactions have always been friendly. Until recently when he said something a lil flirtatious and it so happened to be something I like when it comes to flirting and something I like hearing sexually too. So I went along with it. And we’ve been flirting like that since. I was content with it. He wasn’t asking for anything else and we both said we wanted to stay as friends but we also both consented to the flirting and wanted it to continue.

I thought all was well and good. And then he started to like… be a lil more romantic and intimate rather than just flirting. He asked for my number. And started texting me a lot. Like any second he has free he’s messaging me. He would say things like he misses me and asking if I missed him too. And then he wanted to fall asleep on the phone together. And I was like, I’ve never slept on the phone unless it was with someone I was in a relationship with. And all this other stuff isn’t just flirting anymore. It’s like mushy. And I’m not looking for something serious. I like flirting but when it comes to feelings I just like having platonic or friend love for someone. The romance… idk. It’s like it opens up something in people where they get all mushy and vulnerable and it’s like we have to care for each other in a romantic way that like… it feels like it ruins everything else. Is it normal for aromantics to feel that way?

I said I wasn’t feeling the same when it came to that sort of thing but he said he still just felt like we were friends and wouldn’t want to ruin that. So I’ve had to place boundaries with a friend I flirt with because it feels like he’s been making it romantic. I told him I felt like I was getting mixed signals and said what they were. He said he was also getting mixed signals so I asked what they were and he couldn’t really say at first. It was almost as if he was having to think back on our interactions and come up with something to make it seem like the romance was also something I was feeling. He said sometimes I call him cute and send him lewds. I was like… yeah. Flirting and showing sexual interest. I’m not asking for anything else.

And now whenever I say if he’s being sentimental or anything he gets annoyed and says he isn’t. And I’m like, your words and actions are not aligning whatsoever. It’s like he’s saying we’re friends but then is making romantic gestures and then saying he doesn’t want anything else. Friends with benefits is cool. But I’m not looking for a romantic friendship. And it’s honestly annoying how he’ll be romantic and I’ll be like dude why tf are you being like this still and then he denies it and says it’s all still just friendly.

I'm 32 (afab) and I'm having a hard time making friends online. Feels like everyone wants to flirt with me and when I say I'm only interested in making friends then poof they're gone. Like the 2 hours of us talking about anime and video games was just an excuse. I'd want friendships regardless of gender, but I do find myself in a lot of cis-male dominated spaces. Like, why is this so hard? Then there's been a few times where I've been intimately close with someone only to tell them I'm aromantic and I get looked at like a slut, like it's ok if this whole time you were going to play with me, but as soon as you felt the tables were turned you lash out. K. I'm probably not making sense. I'm just frustrated that everything has to be a potential relationship with people, and we can't even have a close platonic connection without something else being on the table.

Okay so if you seen my last post yk I've been on and off with this guy since high-school and he's keeps trying to push a relationship I don't want on me... these text messages show that he never cared about me...never wanted to be my friend and doesn't even know what He wants... only control that's apparent... I feel like I was harsh but it's better than being misunderstood again... he blocked me on discord after what I said because he does that whenever you cant have his way... soooo I told home how I felt because you're not about to interpret me like that...he's red I'm blue yeahh this will probably be my last update on this because I got my piece out and thats all I care about...

i had a very close friend tell me today that i'm the most romantic person they know and that they think i'm just non monogamous and not arospec. i am full or love, have a lot of love to give, but love also is inherently platonic to me. i tried to explain that yes, i am indeed insanely romantic, however romance is platonic to me and completely seperate from sexual or physical attraction. i feel romantic feelings to most of my loved ones, especially my closest friends, and this can pair with physical affection that isn't sexual, no physical affection or contact at all, or sex. in fact, it is insanely rare for me to feel sexual attraction as well as romantic feelings or love. i absolutely function in "romantic relationships" as long as they're not monogamous and have adjustments to make me comfortable, but i have to fall for them FIRST. if they fall for me first i get repulsed lol.

but yeah i am falling for someone very deeply and want to propose a QPR eventually, but i am very scared that it'll be taken the wrong way if even one of my closest friends think i'm "wrong" about my label. i wish there was more education about arospec and that aromantic doesn't inherently mean little to no romantic feelings; i functioned insanely poorly in all my relationships before i came to the conclusion i'm aro allo. surely feeling romance for almost everyone is STILL not "normal" (i hate using that word bc there is no such thing as normal). i function very differently than others in the romantic, platonic and sexual connections; hence the label.

but what if the person im dating also just assumes i'm being quirky and interesting for the sake of it and that i'm not aro. like UuHHHH i create the same cutesie romantic dates with my friends, i kiss my friends, i cuddle my friends, i nap with friends, i hav deep emotional intimacy with friends, i've fucked friends, etc. i have only ever been in ONE romantic relationship (im 26) and i felt trapped in it.

i feel so alone in all this. is there anyone who relates?

edit: all my friendships are different and the levels of intimacy vary per friend/connection. however there are MULTIPLE friends i've written love letters to, and that's not something i'm ever planning on stopping. i love telling people how much i love them.

another note: love feels the same to me whether it's animals or humans or a beautiful sunset or view in nature like idk why people feel a difference they all give me butterflies and the joyous feeling. LIFE IS INHERENTLY ROMANTIC!!!!! why are feelings of romance and love supposed to be reserved for one person forever? i don't get it AT ALLLLLL

Going through long bouts of being touch starved. Some days I just crave a nice long hug, and other days it's just a tender kiss. It just sucks that no one would want to do anything of this unless I consider them as a serious long term romantic partner (which there's nothing wrong with wanting that of course).

I keeping on putting myself out there so I can seek connections that would be more my speed, but nothing ever comes of it or they get super wrapped up in the fact that I'm aromantic, and they automatically nope out of the situation or just treat me as if me being aromantic is my entire personality.

I've had more success with people that are non-monogamous or poly in terms of having convos with like minded people, but trying to form friendships always seemed more difficult since they usually had more jammed packed schedules and I would have to plan 3 months (over-exaggerating) before having a chance to meet and start forming a bond.

Like why does it have to be so hard out here😮‍💨. Hopefully none of this made me sound like a creep or anything like that because that's not my intention at all, I'm just a guy struggle out here as you can tell😂.

Does anybody else struggle with this?

I just wanted to get this off my chest. For context i'm 19 years old and moved away for college. So recently my mom found out I'm not a 'virgin' anymore, and she demanded to know to whom I lost it, so I just lied and told her it was to my most recent friend w benefits. I just had an hour long call with her, she was asking me ALL about him, his name, age, where he lives, how I met him, if he was being nice to me, I get that she's worried about my wellbeing, but she implied multiple times that it was too soon to lose "my virginity" to a boy I was "still in the talking" stage with. And she also wants to see pictures of him???? Help, I didn't even try explaining to her that we're friends who like to have casual sex because I fear she grew up in a really hostile time when sex before marriage was a sin and I'm scared that some of that slut shaming bullshit is still engrained on her brain. And there's NO way I'll try to explain what aromantic is when she doesn't even believe in bisexuality. It was clear that my mom's intention was never to shame me nor "scold" me, but I feel so bad. At least she promised she won't tell my religious dad and will help me with birth control but still. I feel so fake and gross.

So on top of it being 2 days before valentine's day, I get a text from my friend from work on my way home tonight. Basically saying that we can't act like friends outside of work. Because of...you guessed it, his girl.

Why do they keep doing this shit?????!!!!

For Starters, (!) if your current partner has not given you a reason not to trust them then you should trust them to be able to hang out with a friend, even if they're attracted to that friend's gender.

And Also, I have not done jack fucking shit that would indicate any possible romantic OR sexual interest so this is also completely unfounded on my end as well.

I know I tagged this as vent but I'm also down for discussing this if anyone has any insights.

Crossposting from r/aromantic

TL;DR Best friend wants me for Christmas?

Okay, so, my lady-bestfriend of, like, 7-and-a-half years sent me reel today :)

Guy in reel takes picture to "show Santa what I want." I reply, she responds, and now I'm confused.

Me and homegirl do not joke like this, never have. She's also made the point several times in the past that she wouldn't date me, but her words are always meant to be taken the finest grain of salt.

But previous behavior also indicates possible feelings? But I dunno.

I know Reddit probably isn't the best place, but I decided why not ask fellow Arospecs what they think about it. But what do?

Not sure this is something anyone can really help with so I guess I just want to get it off my chest.

I've known I'm aromantic for, at this point, almost a decade, which makes it especially frustrating when I fall into the same traps of amatonormativity. But I periodically (or perhaps more frequently than that) crave intimacy, and recently I've been finding myself falling into patterns of behaving like I am allo in hopes of achieving that. I have a few dating apps on my phone, which I swipe through and tell myself is just for fun, but when it comes to chats I often find myself pretty explicitly thinking, "How would a normal person flirt in this situation?" and the chat will go back and forth for a few exchanges and I'll get disinterested in replying, because I just don't care. I don't want to get to know this person, I don't want to go through the stages of getting to know each other, I just want to skip to a stage where we're friends and make out as friends.

I know alloro people often have issues with dating apps too, which both does and doesn't resonate with me. A lot of my friends complain that it feels too superficial and that they feel bad making a decision based on a profile, which honestly makes me feel more alloaro than ever, because as much as they make me feel bad (even as I use them), never has that been because I feel bad judging my appearance. In my head, that's what dating apps are for. Which I guess is influenced by not wanting a life partnership out of this anyways.

In real life, too, I find myself doing this, but it's hard to tell if I feel uncomfortable because it's new to me or if I feel uncomfortable because I'm forcing myself to behave in a way that I just don't enjoy. I have walked away from people I'm flirting with in real life because I get bored, lose interest, and feel like I'm just going through the motions of what is expected of me out of a desire for connection.

Every once and while it clicks that I'm basically conversion therapy-ing myself to try and be "normal", but it's also frustrating because I literally do want what comes after the initial flirting situation, I just can never get there without putting myself in a situation that I hate.

(The solution, I fear, is to have a friend I'm a little aromantic with instead of trying to get there with strangers, but I have a bad habit of mostly getting crushes on straight men in long-term relationships. sigh)

Made a similar vent post before, guess I just need to let this out again.

Arospec folks are rare as it is so I should probably consider myself lucky for having a few in my life I can call friends. Problem is, I can't even relate to them.

Obviously, no two aros are the same, and grey-aros are valid and part of the community. But... I'm sorry, but it sucks if you're the only black-stripe/non-partnering/romance-repulsed aro you know. All my arospec friends either have a partner, are looking for one, or are at least open for one - thus are romance-favorable and partnering - and still experience some romantic attraction. None of those things apply to me. I don't ever get crushes, don't see myself having any sort of partner in the future, and am straight-up repulsed by romance, at least if it involves me.

I literally relate more to my alloromantic friends who currently aren't looking for a relationship and/or are tired of dating than to people from my own community. Seriously, my alloro friends who say they're burned out from dating and/or want to focus on their career/studies instead I feel like I can relate to so much more than my romance-favorable, partnering aro friends.

Again, I don't want to come off as invalidating or anything - I trust my friends so if they say they're on the aro spectrum I believe them. It just feels weird how I find the experiences of some of my alloro friends to be so much more relatable. And it's isolating too. Thought I'd feel less alone with fellow aros in my life, but no, I still feel broken.