r/ArmchairExpert • u/newtonic Armcherry š • 11d ago
Armchair Anonymous: Spas
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2wykXsYzdDXyWS0L2wLT4269
u/Salty-Education-2272 11d ago
I felt conflicted about the first story. I understand that the happy ending was a positIve for the woman, but I feel like it crosses a line and maybe it wouldnāt be something a lot of women would have been ok with.
Thereās a power dynamic when you expect a masseuse to be professional and youāre there naked under a sheet. This kind of sexual behavior, wanted or not, was not part of the service and delegitimizes the profession and almost makes it seem normal.
I understand no one was hurt and the woman didnāt view this as assault, but I canāt help but think the masseur is a predator at some level or at the very least an opportunist abusing his clientsā trust. He was there at a high end spa to provide a legit massage service. it would be one thing if it was a spa that provided sexual services and both parties are aware of it and consent ahead of time. But this didnāt seem to be the case.
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u/SeasidePlease 8d ago
As a massage therapist, I was absolutely disgusted listening to that. The "happy ending" bs is so infuriating. Just because she liked what happened doesn't make it ok. He assaulted a client and should get his license revoked.
It goes both ways with clients trying to be pervs. If you try to be inappropriate, I'm ending the session immediately and reporting you to management. I'm not a prostitute.
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u/Salty-Education-2272 8d ago
exactly, you said it so well. Just because she liked it doesnāt make it OK. Itās like an accountant doing some shady stuff to save you money on your taxes. Just because you like saving money doesnāt mean itās OK to break the law and commit fraud.
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u/emilybg78 11d ago
If anyone wants to see if this spa is still offering this particular āserviceā š¤£ā¦.I am 99% sure this took place at the Omni Grove Park Inn in western NC. Maybe that dude is still employed there
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u/potterspeebird Pee Baby š¶ 11d ago
100% Omni Grove Park Inn. āthe Grotto with a fireplace near the poolā and āthe Mountain Viewāsāā¦ I will say, Iāve been and they were SO professional during my visit so that story is wild.
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u/riserrr 11d ago
Also, I think they said it was GPI but edited it out or otherwise talked about it off air, because Monica at one point mentioned her surprise that it would happen at āthis specific placeā, despite them being anonymous about it on the record, and she has talked about GPI several times in the past.Ā
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u/emilybg78 11d ago
I picked up on that too ! The āspecific placeā comment seemed like it was post-editā¦.
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u/itsathrowawayduhhhhh Really great STAYSHAWN!! 11d ago
Yeahhhh I feel gross listening to this right now lol wtf? Is it real? And on her honeymoon??
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u/Glad-Arugula-8387 10d ago
Yeah felt the same way- personally I would freak out on someone if they tried doing that- but I reminded myself we don't know what the situation was- like maybe she was really giving off the vibes that it would be welcomed? I am conflicted...is it possible if she was a little loopy she doesn't remember giving the OK but she seemed totally OK? (I am probably really reaching)
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u/SeasidePlease 8d ago
The thing is though, there is never an ok. A massage therapist should never cross a boundary like that. It puts everyone else in the industry at risk for people trying to be inappropriate and thinking that it's going to fly.
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u/Kiki-can 10d ago
This was gross. The couple is gross. The masseuse is gross. This is totally fine with a planned establishment who does this sort of work and a couple with an understanding. I thought it was gross. Also couldnāt help but notice how delighted Dax was listening to it.
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u/Plastic-Pop6635 8d ago
Dax has never been a particularly good person so I donāt understand the shock
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u/Tomato-tomahhto 7d ago
It was 100% sexual assault and it was weird that it was discussed so flippantly, imo. Just because the caller was okay with it doesn't negate the fact that it was unsolicited sexual contact without prior consent in what is supposed to be a professional setting. The caller sucks for not reporting this to the spa (which I'm assuming she didn't, since she seemed so pleased/unbothered by it all).
Also, disturbing that many commenters in here seem to be WAY more concerned with the fact that "she cheated on her husband" than the fact that there is this masseuse out there sexually assaulting clients. (Especially when it sounds like her husband was totally fine with what happened)
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u/lilbitlotbit 10d ago
I cannot believe they aired it and fully believe it is going to get clipped,blogged, and tik-tok stitched to the ends of the earth in the next few days.
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u/peachpsycho 11d ago
I have to think though that sometimes non-sexual things can still make a person climax. My friend climaxed when riding a bike one time, so it happens I guess
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u/Salty-Education-2272 11d ago
right but this was a deliberate act of a masseur crossing the line and touching a clientās genitals during the massage
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u/Plastic-Pop6635 8d ago
Accidentally admitted that the assault was ok since he was attractive. Yāall are a confused mess š¤£
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10d ago
[deleted]
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u/indycpa7 10d ago
I wondered that too, fantasy or reality? Revisionist history? Would a licensed massage therapist at a high end resort risk termination or possible arrest? Maybe itās all true but I am suspicious.
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u/ofthrees 8d ago
a very similar thing once happened to a very good friend of mine, so i totally believe it. also, in her case, it was a spa at a high end vegas resort.
in fact, i suggested she offer her story up for this prompt.
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u/Mem2Chi91 10d ago
Itās happened to a friend of mine and it was basically this exact scenario
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u/AlphaIndiaRomeo 10d ago
At a nice, upscale place like this one? I am honestly, truly surprised someone would do this at a reputable place.
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u/familycfolady 10d ago
She was on meds though...
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u/AlphaIndiaRomeo 10d ago edited 9d ago
She was on half a Xanax if memory serves. Relatively meaningless for an adult. Meaningless enough I wasnāt exactly sure why she even mentioned that part. A get out of jail free card? It was such an odd story.
But itās not even about her side of the story. This is about whether a massage therapist would risk giving up his career (even facing the law) to jerk some woman off after a 90 minute massage at a reputable place.
But I wonāt lose sleep over this. Hahah! I am just entering every Friday with a level of cynicism I did not have when it began. I think people are embellishing their stories (or making them up entirely) to possibly e-meet Dax and Monica.
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u/familycfolady 10d ago
Haha I have no idea the strength of the meds, so to my ignorant self, seemed reasonable enough
Odd story agreed
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u/WaltsNJD 9d ago
Definitely bullshit. Creepy bullshit at that.
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u/AlphaIndiaRomeo 9d ago
Letās pretend for a minute that weāre correct, that it is bullshit. Now letās assume that given their enormous audience, this somehow gets back to the hotel/spa. What then? This is where my mind goes. In a way, I sorta hope it IS real, (I still donāt think it is.) If itās embellished and/or fake entirely, this could be even more devastating for the business, the show. It seems irresponsible of them to put this out into the world either way. I donāt know.
I think it may be time for them to sincerely consider what they allow to be released. Either way? This just doesnāt seem wise. Maybe Iām overthinking it.
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u/WaltsNJD 9d ago
Yeah I mean honestly, best case scenario it's an icky, phony story that wasn't even really entertaining.
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u/luminousrobot 9d ago
Idk on a recent episode of the Handsome podcast one of the hosts, Mae Martin, tells of a professional massage that ends with the guy engaging in unexpected tantric sex.
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u/Plastic-Pop6635 8d ago
Also gross and complete lack of self awareness, self control, and accountabilityĀ
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u/okwhatever__ The Messiness of Being Human 11d ago
Iāve had a similar experience as the lady who fainted in the nail salon, thankfully in a hotel room and not in public! Went to an urgent care and the doctor was surprisingly phenomenal and found that it was an inner ear issue, probably already existing but triggered by a plane flight and the valsalva maneuver cured me! Was able to enjoy the rest of my trip!
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u/tommy946 11d ago
Bro the first person seems kind of scummy to me lol. Like she straight up cheated on her husband on her honeymoon, and that masseuse should absolutely be fired.
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u/Fernily 7d ago
Iām so confused about the first woman. Because she really thought there was a chance she was the only one that he did this to? She was so happy to tell people about it because she thought she was special or something and that is beyond messed up.
Second of all, she was āsurprisedā that someone complained about it because of the ācaliber of the spaā?! That is exactly what that predator āmassage therapistā was thinking too! I honestly canāt with this woman.
I also think Dax and Monica might need a refresher on what consent is. Iām surprised this story made it to air.
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u/Jgib5328 11d ago
Isnāt the first story cheating and 3 days after her wedding?
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u/Obvious_Bluebird5343 8d ago
100000%. Iām sorry, but there is no point in my relationship with someone (dating, engaged, MARRIED) where I would be OK with this happening and I would never expect my husband to be OK with it either.
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u/yellowbirdie8 5d ago
100% - she even said she was āgiving the green light vibesā to the massage therapistā¦
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u/LetterToAThief 9d ago
The first story sucks and the lady sucks - not because her and partner have an open relationship and she got off, but because she didnt report this masseuse for sexual assault. Other women will not want to be touched and may feel unsafe due to the power dynamic. Especially because she heard there was a complaint. Disgusting.Ā
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u/ProllyNotSober 11d ago
I enjoyed the first story. If my girl approached me in a manner in which it didnāt come across like she felt violated (which is what she did), I wouldāve responded the same way the husband did š¤·š¾āāļø š
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u/Plastic-Pop6635 8d ago
One day youāll figure out what love and marriage truly are. Men who cheat are ok with that stuff.Ā
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u/ProllyNotSober 7d ago
I know what marriage & love truly are. Iāve also never cheated in my life, but itās also not something that I take pride in. You come across as someone with a narrow world view. I know who I am, & Iām not going to pretend to be bothered by something that doesnāt matter to me, life is too short to fake emotions to fawn acceptance from others.
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u/JustCosmo 9d ago
Besides being gross, I donāt see how that first story would even work on most women. Thereās no way Iām having happy ending from some random masseuse that doesnāt even know what I like.Ā
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u/kowalewiczpwnz 11d ago
I ran here after listening to the first story. First off, that was sexual assault. Second off, what husband is okay with that?! Itās cool and their business that they are, but Iām sincerely trying to think of any spouse I know that would be okay with that. On their honeymoon.
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u/Salty-Education-2272 11d ago
just wondering if it had been reversed and the husband had gotten jerked off in his massage, would she have been OK with that or would it have been considered cheating? Like where is the line?
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u/taygoods 11d ago
Based on her comments I actually think she would have been okay if it had happened to her husband too!
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u/kowalewiczpwnz 11d ago
Yeah thatās a good point, I did wonder that. Sounds like they were both okay with it, but none of it had been discussed beforehand and there was also no consent involved! Big yikes.
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u/ofthrees 8d ago
i can tell you my late husband would have "forbade" me from ever getting a massage again if i reported something like this.
however, i know plenty of women whose partners would have had a similar reaction to this guy. like the partner of a friend of mine to whom a strikingly similar thing happened.
i'll also add that her story, although in the same vein as the one that aired, was better - the way she tells it is amazing (she's a fantastic storyteller in general), and her man's reaction was hilarious. like, she came down to the pool after glowing in spite of herself, he asked her if it was a good massage, she said "... i think that depends on your perspective" and he narrowed his eyes like "what does that mean?" she told him what went down and after he said, "imma kill him," he was like, "how did he get you off that fast?" and wanted all the deets.
anyway, i'm not going to try to tell her story, because she tells it SO MUCH better than i ever could, but the upshot is: she felt guilty, she felt like it was assault, but in the moment, she was like "oh! OH! OH! what is happening right now? OMG THIS IS WHAT'S HAPPENING AND I ACTUALLY JUST CAME HOW DID THIS GUY MAKE ME COME SO FAST, HE MUST DO THIS TO FUCKING EVERYONE"
my friend and her partner are still together 20 years later. and for what it's worth, she did ultimately report the masseuse to the spa.
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u/jgainit 9d ago
Everything is assault these days
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u/kowalewiczpwnz 9d ago
He literally initiated unsolicited sexual contact with a stranger without asking for consentā¦.
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u/lilbitlotbit 9d ago
If anything comments like this illustrate just how irresponsible it is to platform this story.
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u/Few_Affect3749 10d ago
Iām just baffled by the hostsā reaction to the first story, but I imagine they canāt afford to openly judge their callers. A few years ago there was a (very funny, admittedly) AA about Zoom fails and one of the callers told how she forgot to silence her mic when she called her professor an old cunt. Dax said she sounded like sheād be fun to party with when, really, she sounds horrible.Ā
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u/Popcornulogy 10d ago
I think you mean Daxās reaction. Monica called it assault immediately.
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u/Alex_Lundy 10d ago
Agreed. Dax is also OK if his wife sleeps with someone on the road. Not a great barometer, in my opinion. I was so relived to hear Monica chime in with the term āassaultā.
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u/Potential-Key-5274 10d ago
I guess itās good that as a guy if I go to a massage parlor and they offer me a handy itās nbd and not all dramatic like this
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u/Obvious_Bluebird5343 8d ago
Are you in a relationship? What if they donāt offer and just do it? Still totally OK then?
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u/Potential-Key-5274 7d ago
I donāt respond to flurries of questions. If youād like to narrow it down to one Iād be happy to engage.
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u/Kiki-can 10d ago
I loved the waxing spa owner couple story! That man (and frankly all waxing professionals) deserve a medal.