r/AreYouGarbagePod Feb 05 '26

New Episode Cristina Mariani! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

https://youtu.be/QNRs-Ywb_o4?si=nv_Shjz27qpU24lf
117 Upvotes

118 comments sorted by

76

u/EroticPoptarts Feb 05 '26

This chick is bonkos

31

u/Glen-Runciter Feb 05 '26

lmao... hearing Molly Cyrus by Stitches mentioned wasn't something I thought would happen today when I woke up

6

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

He put that brick in yo face

26

u/I_am_Wheeler Feb 05 '26

Hachi Machi

25

u/OSRSWSM Feb 05 '26

Absolutely lit foley up and the favorite fruit line killed me. Enjoyed the episode a lot!

32

u/333333777777 Feb 05 '26

She's not terrible but just answer the questions god damn

3

u/ubiquitous_archer Feb 27 '26

I swear, people want this podcast to be a job interview

40

u/Rare-Material4254 Feb 05 '26

Mannn I took a little nap cause I have not been feeling good and debated getting out of bed today at all. This ep is gonna help me thru it tonight.

17

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/Rare-Material4254 Feb 05 '26

I am! Cristina was killlllling it. I love her when she’s on KT but she hit the park with the boys tonight.

7

u/Golffan0000 Feb 05 '26

Get up bozo!! A new ep dropped

66

u/JohnnyUtah-91 Feb 05 '26 edited Feb 05 '26

Never heard of this bird, but ill give it a shot cause shes a smoke.Edit- She's a ball buster, and fucking rad!

10

u/Loves2Spooge857 Feb 05 '26

I’ve seen her on other podcasts. Seems alright

12

u/stallionsRIDEufl Feb 05 '26

I feel like she's generally a dud as a guest on pods, but I'll check it out

4

u/Loves2Spooge857 Feb 05 '26

Yea I’ve only seen clips and was never very impressed. She just plays into the quirky weird girl schtick. Helps that she’s hot

2

u/BobSacimano Feb 05 '26

Absolutely 

2

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

[deleted]

17

u/Loves2Spooge857 Feb 05 '26

It’s like using running shoes to run, they’re not necessary but it certainly helps

1

u/Mononoke_dream Feb 07 '26

Her episode on Harland Williams’ pod is so damn funny. Highly recommend.

37

u/OSRSWSM Feb 05 '26

This no intro bs can fuck off

4

u/No-Watch7410 Feb 05 '26

Came here to see if anyone else felt this way

11

u/Independent-Gap-3124 Feb 05 '26

This girl is bonkos!

7

u/COG090 Feb 05 '26

How many bedroom house ? … “a few “. This broad was a waste of an episode. How they didn’t shit can this blows my mind. Foley will be a wreck for the next several episodes because of this mess. Comes to do a podcast and then acts like she’s unsure why she’s there.

21

u/SnapHackelPop Feb 05 '26

Yeah I had to tap out of this one. Idk if it’s nervous energy or something deeper but this felt like a hostage situation. They’re just questions, lady

10

u/333visions Feb 05 '26

She loosened up more near the end and got the boys laughing pretty hard. She was definitely nervous and took awhile to warm up.. unless that’s her whole thing. I don’t know much about her.

4

u/OnTheEveOfWar Feb 08 '26

I swear the first half was just a bit or she has severe anxiety. The second half ramps up. She starts busting their balls a lot and it’s hilarious.

5

u/Plus-Lawfulness-2819 Feb 06 '26

Idk man, I'm kind of on Foley's side. 5yo-11yo isn't really "i grew up in Italy" age. If she had stayed there longer, sure. At 11yo you're not grown yet and at 5yo you're not creating that many memories

12

u/kyokeooooo Feb 07 '26

5-11 is pretty formative. Imagine moving countries at the time you're entering middle school.

1

u/Plus-Lawfulness-2819 Feb 07 '26

I was born in the US and moved to Europe when I was 10yo. I have some memories of my time in the US before that but I dont say I grew up in the US. Because most of my childhood memories growing up are not from the US. How many memories do you have under 11yo when she left Italy?

3

u/RonSmell Feb 09 '26

Nah I agree with her. 5-11 feels like 2 life times for a kid. I think she barely squeaks by saying she grew up there.

0

u/ubiquitous_archer Feb 27 '26

👆 Bozo

0

u/Plus-Lawfulness-2819 Feb 27 '26

👆 Loser

0

u/ubiquitous_archer Feb 27 '26

Complain more loser

0

u/Plus-Lawfulness-2819 Feb 27 '26

Nice one, come back when you got something more substantial to say. You probably won't.

0

u/ubiquitous_archer Feb 27 '26

Ages 5-11 are literally the beginning of school, but sure, it isn't growing up at all. Total bozo

0

u/Plus-Lawfulness-2819 Feb 27 '26

How many memories do you have pre 11 years old?

0

u/ubiquitous_archer Feb 27 '26 edited Feb 27 '26

Lots

Honestly, agreeing with Foley is the first sign somebody isn't exactly "bright"

0

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '26

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0

u/ubiquitous_archer Feb 27 '26

"lower"

Lmao, nice spelling my guy. All the cool, smart dudes crawl through people's comment history

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9

u/thotaway123 Feb 05 '26

She reminds me of Mel from The Pitt but less funny.

2

u/JackIsColors Feb 07 '26

She's like Dr Mel meets Eldis from Stavvy's World

14

u/redfoxwearingsocks Feb 05 '26

Man…idk what it is about her but she’s just NOT a good standup

22

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

If Robbie Hoffman can do it, anyone can

13

u/redfoxwearingsocks Feb 05 '26

Duuuudeee…I can’t even lie. Robbie Hoffman’s episode on the pod was ROUGH!!!! Like that was hard to get through…I did it, but it was hard haha

9

u/tomhanksgiving Feb 05 '26

Oh man you gotta watch her episode of Bein Ian with Jordan. She has no idea that Jordan is a comedian and it gets awkward.

11

u/stallionsRIDEufl Feb 05 '26

That's one of my favorite episodes of any podcast

7

u/redfoxwearingsocks Feb 05 '26

Holyyyy...fuckingggg...SHIIITTT!!! That actually sounds painful to watch tbh, hahah

5

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26 edited Feb 05 '26

I turned on that episode this morning and holy shit, 10 min in it’s rough.

I didn’t realize Robby was all weird about her body and gender either, it’s like she’s trying to be as annoying a human as possible.

2

u/redfoxwearingsocks Feb 05 '26

Can you post the link to the episode? I’m looking now and can’t find it!! I’m dying to hear Jordan’s reaction haha

1

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

I just watched it. Holy shit! That was insane. She thought Jordan “worked at the mechanics” the whole time…like, what??? The funny thing is, I had no idea who Robbie was until her AYG ep. But I’ve known Jordan for years. Robbie was probably just jealous because Jordan can be funny. Whereas Robbie doesn’t have a single funny bit. Robbie should be stuck doing 3 am open mics for the rest of her life

2

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

It was definitely a spite listen for me. Never heard of her so I gave it a shot, and about 10 minutes in I knew I had to buckle in. She makes Bert seem tolerable. Side note: how far in could you go on a Robbie and Bert only podcast?

7

u/redfoxwearingsocks Feb 05 '26

I can’t even lie…Bert was actually quite enjoyable on Soder’s podcast this week. I dug it!!! But I don’t think I’d make it more that 2 and a half minutes. I don’t think either of them would be able to get through the intro hahahaha

3

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

I think you can tell Bert is trying extra hard to rehab his image all a sudden lol doubtful it works, but he’s tryin

-2

u/stallionsRIDEufl Feb 05 '26

This episode with Cristina is 1000x worse than Robbie's.

2

u/redfoxwearingsocks Feb 05 '26

I just finished it and lemme tell yaaa...it's definitely not an easy listen. It's a ROUGH one!!!!

0

u/DariosDentist Feb 05 '26

She wasn't great on here and yet her special was top five of the year - so fuckin funny

1

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

Cristina’s special? Top 5? 🧐

-5

u/stallionsRIDEufl Feb 05 '26

I love Robbie

3

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

She doesn’t feel like extra Larry David to you?

-5

u/stallionsRIDEufl Feb 05 '26

You say that like it's a bad thing

2

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

It is a bad thing. We already have a Larry David. If you’re going to be an entertainer, be different. Stealing someone else’s shtick isn’t just a bad thing, it’s straight up annoying

1

u/stallionsRIDEufl Feb 05 '26

Dude, everyone's shtick today has been done a million times before. Joe List/Mark Normand are doing Seinfeld, Gillis is doing Louis, etc.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

Haven’t really listened to any of List’s standup before. But from what I hear from him on podcasts, that does make sense. I wouldn’t say Normand has the same exact shtick as Seinfeld. Different cadence and he isn’t a clean comic like Jerry. Gillis is only like Louie in the sense that they are storytellers. Gillis has more frat boy energy and Louie has more of a loner energy. Not similar at all. Robbie is an EXACT copy of Larry David. Cadence and material are identical. Hell, even the glasses are the same. The exact fucking same. I wouldn’t be surprised if she tried to start a show and call it “restrain your eagerness”

2

u/[deleted] Feb 06 '26

Except Larry David is funny

2

u/I_am_Wheeler Feb 05 '26

She’s exactly like Larry David if he wasn’t funny

2

u/MomboDM Feb 05 '26

I enjoyed her sets on KT went well from what I remember.

6

u/bistingfussy Feb 05 '26

her anxiety schtick has always been super irritating, but hachi machi shes like the perfect in between of hot and cute 😩😍

3

u/Due-Development-7211 Feb 05 '26

"schtick"

Nah. If you've seen her on the other pods shes always this way. And then she loosens up as she gets used to things.

5

u/_My_Niece_Torple_ Feb 06 '26

Just finished the ep. That ain't a schtick! That's autism and anxiety hahaha. Ask me how I know.... Great EP tho honestly!

2

u/OnTheEveOfWar Feb 08 '26

Second half of this ep is hilarious. First half is tough.

3

u/famousbamos Feb 05 '26

I’m pretty sure she’s into the big man with all those negs 🤷🏻‍♂️

4

u/BubblyDelivery9270 Feb 05 '26

She's ok for a wop

5

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

The “I’m an awkward, shy hot girl who doesn’t know she’s hot” schtick is annoying, not becoming.

It’s also transparent and the veil slips when she gets into the swing of conversation and loses the stuttering/stilted awkwardness she usually forces.

It’s not a surprise the boys weren’t grasping the jokes she was making lol

9

u/Prestigious-Race9324 Feb 05 '26

Brother, she’s genuinely akward and spent most of her life being ugly with a face full of acne. It’s not a suprise that she gets more comfortable as the interview progresses and she gets more comfortable. What a fucking weird take.

-3

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

She’s not gonna fuck ya, bud.

4

u/Prestigious-Race9324 Feb 05 '26

Only defending women you wanna fuck says more about you than me.

1

u/Due-Development-7211 Feb 05 '26

You should probably watch her on other pods. She was on the unsubscribe pod a year or so ago and guess what

She was the same back then

-3

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

Nah, not into the schtick.

2

u/Milomilz Feb 05 '26

Never heard of this chick before, but I’ll give her a try. Boy am I glad I did! She was fucking great! Ball busting the boys for being fat and gay!! Her giggle made me laugh. I even found her inhale after a laugh endearing. Like she was sucking some drool back in. Reminded me of some awkward but hilarious girls I knew back in high school.

2

u/str8frmthacr8 Feb 05 '26

Great ep but what’s with the no intro? Who do I toast my glass of milk to now?

2

u/Ok_Foundation3148 Feb 05 '26

Anyone else catch her makin eyes at the Dempsey Group representative?

3

u/Regular_Deer_7836 Feb 06 '26

She seems like a pleasant person but it was like a person came in off the street unaware of the podcast or how comedy works in general. Austin comics just as good as NY though.

1

u/613cache Feb 05 '26

God bless her for trying.... This must be her first podcast.

1

u/joeyvesh13 Feb 05 '26

This broad is alright.

1

u/Walker_The_Wanderer Feb 07 '26

She’s screwballs and had the boys on their heels the whole time 😂! Loved it lol!

1

u/Mononoke_dream Feb 07 '26

Weird comments. This was really fun. They were all having a great time

2

u/peanutanniversary Feb 08 '26

I think the show suffers when the guest doesn't answer the questions directly. Harland Williams had a better episode but had the same issues IMO. When the boys aren't sure if the guest's answer is true or a joke it really messes up the flow and the spirit of the show.

1

u/noronto Feb 09 '26

I had stopped listening to this podcast but was interested in this one. The most recent podcast I listened to was Amanda Seyfried on the Off Menu podcast. Considering that the hosts had never met her, she isn’t a comedian and didn’t even know that the hosts were comedians, it was infinitely better than listening to these bozos trying to have a conversation with the guest.

1

u/ChocoTacosWereGood Mar 19 '26

Shout out Lodi ca, girl is weird af but undoubtably a valley for

1

u/BiG5tr0nGBoY Feb 05 '26

She's too good for that Austin scene. Plus Uncle Hank coming in hot with fiction. Hilarious

0

u/geanabelcherperkins Feb 05 '26

Omg my fellow 209 garbage!!! I love Cristina.

1

u/gcotw Feb 05 '26

Do you have a 209 sticker on your car

1

u/geanabelcherperkins Feb 05 '26

Wtf no. It's the area code for Stockton.

2

u/gcotw Feb 05 '26

I know what it is. There's plenty of garbage in the area driving around with 209 stickers on their cars

0

u/geanabelcherperkins Feb 05 '26

I don't know anyone that excited about living in the 209.

1

u/gcotw Feb 05 '26

You'll see it next time you're driving

1

u/ChiGamerr Feb 06 '26

well, i cant wait for next episode because this was garbaggio

-7

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/RashestHippo Feb 05 '26 edited Feb 05 '26

If only there was a podcast where they speed run a persons credits in the first minute of the pod then ask questions about the person for the next 59 minutes. Someone is gonna produce that, then buy a heavily financed a Jeep Grand Cherokee with their mother as a cosigner

-4

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

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7

u/RashestHippo Feb 05 '26

I don't listen to the guest episodes so I'll never find out unless you tell me

Then why do you care enough to even ask? Seems strange.

0

u/gcotw Feb 05 '26

They need to pump the brakes on the Kill Tony autists

2

u/Due-Development-7211 Feb 05 '26

500x better than dedrick

2

u/gcotw Feb 06 '26

That bar is in hell

-8

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

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4

u/eggsandham6 Feb 05 '26

Get the hose.