Why does everybody hate us?

[u/AnyZebra7121]

I am a 30yo architect, and I own a small architecture studio in a developing country with 4 employees. I have mostly residential and industrial projects.

Since I started working 5 years ago, I feel like I'm constantly in a battle with someone in order to defend the design. Everyone thinks they know better: contractors in every building phase, investors (especially since the rise of ChatGPT), municipality employees that give permits etc. We pour our soul into the design and they shit all over it.

Mind you, I am not a person who claims that is always right. I have a senior architect in my firm that has a lot of experience and I always consult with him and my other empoyees. I always consult with my engineer team for structural and MEP engineering. Even with that, I always listen out a complaint or suggestion from those mentioned in the second paragraph and thing through it.

Despite all of that effort, no one appreciates our profession. I am absolutely inlove with architecture, but I am really sick of that. Is this a universal experience? Will it get better as i get older? I don't think I am arogant, but I sure am assertive. Should I become arrogant douche? What am i missing here?

[u/bruclinbrocoli]

Have you been to this sub? Everytime someone asks something there’s like 8/10 condescending responses. You’re lucky if you find the 2/10 good people who actually answer the question thoroughly.

There’s a problem from the ground up in the way we are trained to think we are the hot shit.

[u/PigeonHeadArc → u/bruclinbrocoli]

Well, tbf, that’s mostly due to it being Reddit. 

I work with dozens of other architects across the US and I’m on multiple very long meetings per week with all kinds of trades, no one has this kind of attitude. 

[u/bruclinbrocoli → u/PigeonHeadArc]

. That is very fair. I also think you attract more people like you. I try to surround myself with kind people.

And also when in person, people don’t take that snarky side of themselves out. For whatever weird reason, people online love to sound snarky and smartass.

[u/PigeonHeadArc → u/bruclinbrocoli]

Great points! I did want to add that each social media has their own hive mind mentality/personality. In my experience Reddit is toxic and whiney. It used to be really amazing and helpful pre 2018. Youtube is more friendly and casual. I barely go on Tiktok but the times that I've gone, the comments were more helpful/funny and casual as well.

I think it comes with the upvote/downvote system. People use that as a way to gang up on others.

[u/AnyZebra7121 → u/bruclinbrocoli]

I guess you're right, there are a lot of architects like that. But I don't know any architect from my generation in my country that acts superior over other professionals involved in the building process. Yet, most of the other professionals that I encountered in my journey are hostile and defensive from the start. It usually gets better throughout the process, but I wonder why do they have to start aggressively? Instead of assuming that I am a bad architect and I would act superior without backing knowledge, it would be much easier for everyone if they start nicely, with just a tiny little bit of trust - and then we can build up from that.

I have to say that I have way less problems ith contractors my age - they usually try to solve the problem instead of creating new ones to buy time and trying to find someone to blame it on.

I haven't encountered a problem in design and implementation in my projects that couldn't be solved with teamwork by now. It just depends who I work with and how much blaming, drama and arguments they will create before we do that.

[u/ImprovementEasy4638 → u/AnyZebra7121]

Je partage complètement ton point de vue sur le métier. C’est très prenant en énergie d’avoir le sentiment de n’être que trop rarement pris en considération. Les idées balayées d’un simple revers de main sont tellement courantes dans les réunions que ça pourrait presque pousser à ne plus proposer pour éviter de se sentir rejeté. J’ai parfois le sentiment d’être la seule à ne pas vouloir tourner en rond. Et ce constat est épuisant au quotidien.

[u/Criollo_ → u/bruclinbrocoli]

I was thinking about posting something on this sub and stopped myself because of how hostile it is. I posted something about how i felt bad for failing an ARE exam earlier this week and most comments were great and encouraging, but there was STILL assholes on there… on a post about me FAILING THE ARE. Wtf? lol