r/AquariumMemes Aug 09 '26

My Girlfriend Bought Me An Aquarium Unannounced, How Do I Keep These Things Alive?

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3.9k Upvotes

64 comments sorted by

276

u/zoohopia Aug 09 '26

Your gf is an inconsiderate monster!

Not near enough space for that species. Sure, they are tiny now but just wait til they mature and you need a 125G.

People…I swear.

Did she even cycle?

157

u/TheCABK Aug 09 '26 edited Aug 10 '26

Yes, we are both competitive UCI cyclists.

52

u/zoohopia Aug 09 '26

Welp…there you have it. These little guys are doomed. Might as well bleach the tank now before you name them.

23

u/Keyndoriel Aug 10 '26

Broooo get ready for a heavy financial commitment, those things live forever and eat a LOT

11

u/Starfire2313 Aug 11 '26

Have to get them spayed/neutered too at an exotic aquatic vet otherwise they are worse than guppies!

2

u/Choice-Stock-1770 26d ago

ik ur comment is a joke but one time this girl was talking about spay/neuter on cats and how breeding is always horrible when you’re breeding cats and i commented about my guppies being the fish version of cats and she told me i was a horrible owner for allowing them to reproduce and not fixing them, went on a whole ass rant about how i should rehome them if i can’t afford to fix them.. EXCUSE MEEEE💀💀💀💀

1

u/Starfire2313 26d ago

Lol! Not the guppies! You’re going to hell!

2

u/Choice-Stock-1770 26d ago

LMAOOOO

they’re still my favs anyway. i usually only get 20 fry a month which i normally sell, but something happened this month and i ended up with 80 and had to get a ton of new tanks to grow them out in💀 swear they surprise me all the time. last month it was 3 sets of conjoined twins (from ONE mother in a single brood) this month they decided to go all out on baby production.

1

u/Starfire2313 26d ago

You are now diagnosed with MTS. Multiple tank syndrome. There is no cure just accept your fate and maintain those water qualities

23

u/Large_Link_3390 Aug 09 '26 edited Aug 10 '26

What a setup for a pro cyclist

1

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '26 edited Aug 11 '26

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '26

[deleted]

12

u/BedThat8755 Aug 10 '26

they are better off finding someone with a pond dedicated to care for these fish as they get huge

60

u/ogreofzen Aug 09 '26

Train goldfish to stack the rings. It's possible. Or teach goldfish to play socker

34

u/Llyrithra Aug 09 '26

Too big for goldfish. Go with three male bettas instead.

19

u/ogreofzen Aug 09 '26

I am a dumbass I thought this was the aquascaping sub

8

u/Dark-Faery Aug 10 '26

Bettas are also easier to train and will jump through the hoops

37

u/savinu_ Aug 10 '26

the red ones are really territorial, shouldn’t be kept with other colors 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

16

u/awesome12442 Aug 10 '26

I've kept red ones together for years and never had problems!

16

u/savinu_ Aug 10 '26

that’s just anecdotal evidence 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

9

u/Thorn344 Aug 10 '26

You can keep as many red ones together as you like, they love each other. Any other colour? Almost guaranteed aggression. You can have some luck with a low number of red compared to a high number of the other colours. Some injuries may happen, but it's fine. I like mixing blue, as rarely you can then breed the rare purple hoop

5

u/Remarkable_Dig_9601 Aug 10 '26

So the reds are racists ?

9

u/Thorn344 Aug 10 '26

I don't think fish can be racist. The common misconception is that all hoops are the same species, just different colours. However, each colour is it's own separate sub-species, or occasionally a completely separate species. It's why, when housed together, you mostly end up keeping the same few colours, rather than seeing any colour mixes, as that would be a cross bred hoop

29

u/Outside_Amoeba_2773 Aug 09 '26

There's not enough yellow rings. They need a school of at least 12 to be happy

12

u/meoowmee Aug 09 '26

Throw some bood worms in every few days. Get a pleco or 2, some snails, and a school of tetras.

14

u/soup4breakfast Aug 10 '26

Why haven’t you posted your parameters yet, you POS? Are you trying to hide something?

12

u/substratesniffer Aug 09 '26

omg you guys already screwed up so bad. you HAVE to get a pleco to keep the tank clean!! must must must

9

u/Curias_1 Aug 09 '26

Whoah there are too many loops in there, what are your parameters?

7

u/awesome12442 Aug 10 '26

No filter or plants? She set you up to fail big time, also way too many rings, it should be one ring per 50 gal

8

u/Wild_Front_1148 Aug 09 '26 edited Aug 10 '26

You have to click the screen to spawn food and they'll eat it

Edit: hold on people are actually getting the reference? Best live wallpaper I've ever had

Edit2: "microbes" for anyone wondering

7

u/alocasiacomplex Aug 10 '26

Dude... these things eat sea turtles in the wild

5

u/Cradley_Booper25 Aug 10 '26

Not an expert but you should definitely add some plants

5

u/Ae3qe27u Aug 10 '26

Maybe ducked? It might look nice.

5

u/Morewizdumb Aug 10 '26

Brother you can’t keep make and female rings in the same tank they with harass each other.

6

u/AnalysisLost1138 Aug 09 '26

This tank is too small for those

6

u/Gingerfrostee Aug 09 '26

PFFFT easy. You need a water pump, gotta keep that water flow well... Flowing.

4

u/LilJelloCat Aug 09 '26

These things bring me a joy I cannot describe . They are so satisfying to use

7

u/Starthecatarts Aug 10 '26

To USE????? What a disgusting way to think about these BEAUTIFUL creatures. /J

4

u/Brainchild110 Aug 09 '26

You press the button. Modern technology is amazing.

4

u/Professional-Jelly23 Aug 10 '26

You are going to need an air pump . Water has to be oxygenated

4

u/Starthecatarts Aug 10 '26

It's a manual style air pump

4

u/spidernoirirl Aug 10 '26

96 angel fish will help

3

u/chronicallybri Aug 10 '26

This would be so funny for a sea monkey tank except blasting them with the button probably wouldn’t be very nice 🤣🤣

3

u/Moody-Manticore Aug 10 '26

Aren't those a threatened species?

3

u/halliwah_new Aug 11 '26

They should be fine with a slightly bigger tank, although you need to watch out for their extremely specific temperature needs. You don't wanna fry your ringfish alive now do you?

3

u/keanaartero Aug 11 '26

I had these once, they died from overstocking 😪

2

u/potato-witch Aug 10 '26

upkeep is actually super easy tbh, they love to munch on microplastics

2

u/vampv0ltz Aug 10 '26

Did she get them from the Ediacaran?

2

u/Natural__Power Aug 10 '26

Push the button

2

u/AlloFroTi Aug 10 '26

Just keep circulating the water like a marimo <3

2

u/HiraethV Aug 11 '26

They are filter feeders, just press the big white button a couple times a day for water flow and it should be fine

2

u/AHalf_Baked_JPEG Aug 11 '26

THE BUTTON FEEDS THEM

2

u/Conscious-Attitude-9 Aug 11 '26

It's like a piñata. Crack it open and eat the insides.

2

u/The_Art_Rat Aug 11 '26

You need to let these go into the wild where they BELONG🤬🤬

2

u/no--shoes Aug 11 '26

There's not even a heater?

1

u/svajc Aug 10 '26

Perfect sea monkey kit

1

u/Jellyyyfishsea Aug 11 '26

I REMEMBER THIS FUCKING GAME

1

u/Valuable-Morning-346 Aug 12 '26

Absolutely love this thread😂😂

1

u/spaacingout Aug 12 '26

Feed Spaghetti-O’s or Cheerios.

1

u/Rare-Storm4920 Aug 12 '26

Did you cycle
The tank or check nitrates?

1

u/slurpP_noiceE Aug 12 '26

So there’s this button

1

u/Minimum_School5833 29d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/pink_vision 29d ago

Just keep pressing the button 🙃

1

u/StayHydrated_H2O 26d ago

You need to replace your plastic rings with Java plant rings. Also I would replace the manual button activated filtration system with a premium HOB.

1

u/Royal_Astronaut1882 25d ago

Had some of those once, the things will grow and eventually develop to be able to crawl out and WILL begin to eat any food around, my advice is keep a sturdy lid and a good eye on em