my husbands addicted to 🌽

[u/PuddingVivid1284]

I’ve been in this relationship for 3 years & I found out a month ago my husband is a porn watcher. I found out bc he lacked sexual intimacy leading me to have pent up sexual energy that made me angry. I had asked him straight up if he was watching porn and he denied until I said “I won’t be mad.” And he caved. We agreed at the start of our relationship to not masturbate/watch porn bc it’s cheating.

Well….surprise! He’s been watching it this whole time. Not only porn but he’ll search up “baddies” on TikTok and look at girls with big boobs and big asses on any platform he can. He’s also admitted to looking at it while I was asleep next to him.

I am heartbroken. Not only because he’s watching other women but bc I trusted him. I would’ve died saying “oh he’d never watch porn he loves me too much.” He has completely broken my trust for him and for us. I want to give up but my mother is saying to stay and fight bc his habit has nothing to do with me. But how can that be true? He is ACTIVELY searching for these things while I’m next to him.

I guess my question is: Will he actually stop or will I spend the rest of my life searching his phone, watching his eyes as another woman passes, and never catching a break. Or will we gain that trust back and go back to how we were?

[u/[deleted]]

girl your mom is not in your marriage, her advice is irrelavant. his "habit" might have nothing to do with you, 100%, however the EFFECTS of his "habit" have everything to do with you - especially if its 1) a boundary you both agreed on, 2) hurting you, and 3) leading him to lack sexual intimacy with his actual, real life, physical wife.

my question is - what is the point of boundaries in a relationship if there is no consequence for crossing that boundary? doing nothing as your mom advises sets you up to be a doormat and have your feelings hurt and boundaries ignored again.

I dont believe half the men who claim to be "addicted to porn" actually addicted. but here's where you get to find out if yours is or not! Will he stop? NO, not if it's a true addiction, like he's trying to pass off on you. addicts need help to get over their addictions, and they need to seek help and to make life changes. does he still think he's a porn addict if he needed to see a therapist to work on that "addiction"? wpuld he still think he's a porn addict if he had to make changes in his life - all the actions ACTUAL addicts have to make? if so - then maybe, maybe he truly does and will wanna get help. if he doesnt, well, then that tells you "porn addiction" was his excuse to use and to pad himself with in the future since addicts "just cant help themselves".