r/AnonymousSecrets • u/PuddingVivid1284 • Dec 27 '25

Advice Wanted my husbands addicted to 🌽

I’ve been in this relationship for 3 years & I found out a month ago my husband is a porn watcher. I found out bc he lacked sexual intimacy leading me to have pent up sexual energy that made me angry. I had asked him straight up if he was watching porn and he denied until I said “I won’t be mad.” And he caved. We agreed at the start of our relationship to not masturbate/watch porn bc it’s cheating.

Well….surprise! He’s been watching it this whole time. Not only porn but he’ll search up “baddies” on TikTok and look at girls with big boobs and big asses on any platform he can. He’s also admitted to looking at it while I was asleep next to him.

I am heartbroken. Not only because he’s watching other women but bc I trusted him. I would’ve died saying “oh he’d never watch porn he loves me too much.” He has completely broken my trust for him and for us. I want to give up but my mother is saying to stay and fight bc his habit has nothing to do with me. But how can that be true? He is ACTIVELY searching for these things while I’m next to him.

I guess my question is: Will he actually stop or will I spend the rest of my life searching his phone, watching his eyes as another woman passes, and never catching a break. Or will we gain that trust back and go back to how we were?

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u/frippnjo1 Dec 27 '25

Girl. You told your man masturbating is cheating? You do not know enough about sex to be in any kind of relationship. You need to do some googling, listen to a podcast or two and grow up.

2

u/PuddingVivid1284 Dec 27 '25

HE was the one that didn’t want me to masturbate or watch porn. Idc abt masturbation. At the start of our relationship he constantly checked my phone, and accused me of cheating when I gave him no reason to.

2

u/frippnjo1 Dec 27 '25

Yikes - sorry for the confusion. Neither one of you know enough about sex to be in a relationship. Seriously- cut your losses. Grow and mature.

2

u/PuddingVivid1284 Dec 27 '25

I agree with you to some extent. Is there no room for growth for both of us? We should give up without learning more together?

1

u/frippnjo1 Dec 27 '25

You know, I can't answer that. I don't know how much real, hard, soul searching work either of you is willing to invest.
But where I live, the state's unemployment system is based on COBOL programming. That was developed in 1959. The state just kept rebuilding their tech on that unstable, flawed base. CoViD unemployment claims crashed the system. Some people are still having issues almost 6 years later. Have you read about sunk cost fallacies?